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About this blog

Every day, I write a letter to my younger self—exactly one year ago. Think of it as creative journaling through time. These entries aren’t about predicting the future, but about offering hindsight, tenderness, and hard-won truths to the version of me who’s still figuring it all out. It’s a way of documenting growth, unpacking memory, and equipping my past self with the tools I wish I had at the time. This space is mostly for me, a mirror across time—but if you find something here that speaks to you, you’re welcome to sit with it too.

Entries in this blog

Everything

Friday 27th June, 2025

Good evening beautiful,   I think I’m getting old. I mean, I had the whole Friday night to myself and really wanted to play some video games, but you know what the problem with games these days is? It’s the hours of commitment you have to put in. I don’t think I can fit in a 70-hour game anymore unless I dedicate a couple of weeks off just to play it. So I ended up watching a movie on my own—on the iPad, of course. The movie I chose for tonight was called Flow, about a cat who makes fr
Philip

Philip in Everything

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Everything

Sunday 20th July, 2025

Hello beautiful,   Just waiting for dinner to cook, so I’m sending through a quick message. Suf came over today for lunch, and it was really nice. I’m glad we’ve been sending voice memos to each other over the past few days because his voice—and now his presence—felt familiar and comforting.   After lunch, we cuddled in bed. He’s a really good cuddler, much better than most guys I’ve met. He squeezes me tight, and I could feel a lot of warmth radiating between us—and I don’t
Philip

Philip in Everything

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Everything

Sunday 3rd August, 2025

Hello beautiful,   This weekend has been pretty good. It’s probably the first weekend in a long while where I basically did nothing—no running around socializing, no endless errands. Just a slow, quiet couple of days. I did get my monthly haircut though, and went straight home afterwards for a nap.   As usual, I squeezed in some piano and singing practice. Work gave us a beanie recently, and I usually wear it on my walks since it’s always under 10°C. But today I skipped my sh
Philip

Philip in Everything

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Everything

Thursday 26th June 2025

Good evening beautiful bastard,   You know, it’s getting quite late for me, and I was contemplating whether I should send you a message, but I told myself I wanted this to be a daily habit—so here I am. Lucky you.   Firstly, I’ve got some good news. I started talking to Kevin again. Our YouTube Premium account expired after the one-year subscription, and he was kind enough to update it for us. A couple of issues came up on his end, and we’ve been exchanging messages trying to
Philip

Philip in Everything

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Everything

Thursday 31th July, 2025

Hello beautiful,   I’m diving into the deep sea now when it comes to music—music theory. The best way I can describe it is that music theory is like a grammar book for music: it teaches you how it should be played to sound beautiful, and the rules that govern what works and what doesn’t. But like all good grammar books, once you understand the basics, you’re free to break as many rules as you like to create magic.   I’m starting to understand the rules that make music what it
Philip

Philip in Everything

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Everything

Monday 21th July, 2025

Hello beautiful,   Two things I want to talk about tonight: dating and piano.   I’ve gone back into the red sea of dating. There’s a question I used to ask myself whenever I exited a relationship: “How do you know when you’re ready to date again?” It’s an interesting one because the answer is different for everyone. You kinda feel it in your bones. Back then, I used to think I was ready when I felt excited to meet new people again. And maybe that was true at the time. But I’v
Philip

Philip in Everything

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Everything

Monday 4th August, 2025

Hello beautiful,   I was doing some pointless scrolling on YouTube the other day when it suggested a channel called Pianote. It’s run by this lovely lady named Lisa who teaches piano from beginner to advanced. I watched a couple of her videos and I really like the way she explains things. Combined with the music theory I’ve been learning, her lessons reinforced a lot of what I’ve read about but hadn’t necessarily put into practice yet. She has such a calm, nurturing energy—and she’s fu
Philip

Philip in Everything

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Everything

Thursday 3rd July, 2025

Hello Beautiful,   I went for a nightly walk earlier along a new walking track across from the high school. I can’t remember if it was built during your time, but there’s this nice circuit that crosses over the school and around the football field. It takes about 40 minutes to walk back home, which is a good amount of time to think and unwind about life for a moment.   Today, for the first time, I noticed that the trees they planted a long time ago have become quite big and s
Everything

Friday 25th July, 2025

Hello beautiful,   A couple of things on my mind tonight.   Firstly, I was talking to Suf about my cruising tendencies. He hasn’t really explored that world yet, aside from one experience in a dark room in Amsterdam. He said he’d like to learn more next time we meet—and I’m more than happy to share, hehe. He also mentioned that he’s going to Beefcake tonight, which is a sex event in the city. I was so intrigued I looked it up. It’s basically a DJ club night with go-go dancers
Philip

Philip in Everything

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Everything

Wednesday 25th, June 2025

Good morning, dipshit.   I don’t know why I just called you that. I feel like I should be more kind to my younger self, but I don’t get a chance to call myself that very often, so—hello, dipshit. I wonder what you’d call me if you could respond to these messages. Hehe.   I want to talk about confidence for a second. If you think you’re confident now, wait until a year from now. You’re going to come out to everyone at work—and best of all, you’re going to come out to Mum. I’m
Philip

Philip in Everything

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Everything

Wednesday 23rd July, 2025

Hello beautiful bastard,   Today, I was so sure I was going to drop my piano lessons. I could feel my body burning out from juggling too many things at once. I’d already found a new piano teacher—his name is Max—and I’d paid for the lesson in advance, so I couldn’t cancel. I figured I’d just go and see how it went. You never know, right? If he was really good, maybe I’d stick with it.   And you know what? He was really good.   What I liked about him was how professi
Philip

Philip in Everything

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Everything

Wednesday 16th July, 2025

Hello beautiful,   Just a quick message tonight since not too much happened today. I picked up the piano stool from the post office, so now I can play Mary Had a Little Lamb like a true professional.   Up & Go was also on sale at Woolies, so like the unhinged bastards we are, I ended up buying 800 cartons—which should last us a solid three months until the next sale. It took two hours to drive, carry, and stock the whole thing into the house, which means I didn’t get much
Philip

Philip in Everything

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Everything

Tuesday 1th July, 2025

Hello beautiful bastard,   It’s almost midnight and I am super tired, but I just wanted to shoot through a quick message. I hope you are moving through life with that signature chaotic energy of yours.   I had my second vocal coach session today and I actually really loved it. We did a basic exercise where she told me to sing one note, then move up three notes, then move back down to the original note. I couldn’t do it. So she regressed to an even easier exercise and for the
Everything

Friday 4th July, 2025

Hello beautiful,   Tonight is Friday night and I actually have no social plans, which is okay. Do you know what I did instead after my nap? I went straight to pitch training with the piano keyboard on my iPad, and I’m actually getting quite good at it. I did it for about three hours, and it was one of those things where I got into the flow and couldn’t stop, which I think is a very good sign that I’m enjoying it a lot! I’m able to do 16 notes now, which is two octaves, and I think that
Everything

Tuesday 22nd July, 2025

Hello beautiful,   I had my third singing lesson today, and it went really well. I still think Elissa, my vocal coach, is excellent at explaining concepts and taking things nice and slow to build my confidence—especially with pitch. She knows exactly where I’m going wrong and is able to correct things quickly before they spiral, which I really appreciate.   She’s been hinting that maybe doing both singing and piano at the same time might be a bit much—and honestly, I’ve been
Philip

Philip in Everything

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Everything

Saturday 2nd August, 2025

Hello beautiful,   I’m finding it really difficult to take some time off from the gym. Recently, I woke up with a massive headache, and I think it’s because I’ve just been go, go, go these last couple of weeks—piling on so many new things like singing, piano, and now music theory. It feels like everything is starting to catch up with me. My right shoulder has also been acting up, tense and sore. So I decided to give myself the weekend off from the gym, sleep in, relax, and just do a lo
Philip

Philip in Everything

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Everything

Saturday 19th July, 2025

Hello beautiful,   Just a quick message tonight, as it’s getting quite late and I’m pretty tired. Johnny and I spent the entire day playing Donkey Kong Bonanza on the Switch 2—about 12 hours in total. We originally planned to just follow the critical path (the main storyline), but it was so tempting to go off track and explore the side missions instead of doing what we were supposed to be doing.   When we realised we were only halfway through the game by the end of the sessio
Philip

Philip in Everything

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Everything

Tuesday 24th, June 2025

Hello Philip.   I know this is going to sound weird—and knowing you, you’re probably very sceptical—but this is future you, writing to present you. How crazy, right? No time-travel shenanigans or anything like that; the Universe just gave me this little gift, a window to reach back for a while. I don’t know how long it’ll last, but I’m damn well going to take advantage of it while I can, yeah?   This message will be sent to you exactly one year from the future. For me, today
Philip

Philip in Everything

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Everything

Monday 28th July, 2025

Hello beautiful,   I’ve decided to let go of singing for now, and I want to walk you through my reasoning. The original goal for singing was never really about gaining the confidence to pick up a microphone and perform—I already had that. The real issue was the uncertainty. I wasn’t sure about the technical side of singing, and I kept questioning myself: was I singing the song correctly? Would people judge me if I wasn’t? Most of it was probably just in my head, but I wanted to learn s
Philip

Philip in Everything

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Everything

Sunday 27th July, 2025

Hello beautiful,   Today was the last time I’ll see Phil for a very long while, and I want to talk about it.   He had originally planned to move to Sydney in October, but his agent recently found him a place—and the lease starts immediately. If he waited until October, he’d still have to pay rent on it for the next three months. So, he made the decision to leave in ten days, right on his birthday, too.   That means tonight was our last time seeing each other.  
Philip

Philip in Everything

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Everything

Tuesday 26th August, 2025

Hello beautiful,   I’ve been slack with sending you messages lately. Life has been busy, but I know that’s no excuse. So here I am, in the locker room at work—my little confessional booth—taking a moment to get some of these thoughts out.   Today, I want to talk about Suf. We’re still sending daily voice memos, though he’s missed a day or two when he’s been busy. The rhythm between us feels like it’s shifting—it’s slower now, and I catch myself hesitating before sharing the m
Philip

Philip in Everything

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