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Smart Ass

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ErosWired

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From the First Century CE, Pliny the Elder wrote of the (truncated) life and (dubious) escapades of the wife of Claudius Caesar, by name Valeria Messalina. Messalina was a bad egg. She machinated her way ruthlessly around the court, cheated shamelessly on her husband to the point that it offended even Roman sensibilities (which is saying something), and used sex as a weapon both in work and play.

Perhaps Pliny’s most famous account of Messalina concerns her reputed contest held one-on-one against Scylla, a prostitute noted for her endurance, to determine who could have intercourse with the most men in 24 hours.

Messalina - the Roman equivalent, mind you, of the First Lady Of The United States - won with a final tally of 25 fuckings by 25 distinct men.

What a slut. At least, even the decadent and debauched society of Rome thought she had crossed a line, and it contributed to her downfall.

I think about Valeria Messalina a lot. I think about her condemnation by her society - its judgment on her promiscuity. Although that was by no means the only character trait that brought about her demise on a centurion’s blade, it was significant. I think about it because a few years ago, in a 24-hour period, I beat Messalina’s winning score by *nine* I’m almost 150% more of a slut than Valeria Messalina, perhaps history’s most reviled slattern. My score was 34. And all I can think about is someday topping that.

There’s a lesson in here somewhere. When I find out what it is, I’ll tell you. At the moment, though, I’m typing this on my cell phone lying buck naked on a cheap hotel bed where I’m being whored out by another guy. I’m in between fuck number 13 and 14 and I have 10 loads of cum in my ass and two in my belly, and I think someone’s at the door.

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