A couple hours ago I hooked up with this guy who I'd fucked in the past when he was a bug chaser and I'm like 90% sure I've got a toxic load in my unPrEPped neg ass right now. 😈☣️

When I fucked him before I was vague about my status back then since I knew I was neg and his fantasy was that I was poz and toxic, but it turned me on that he was chasing. He was this clean-cut, muscle frat boy type - not the type you'd expect to be  trying to get pozzed. Last fall he'd told me he didn't really know his status since he hadn't been tested in a while. But lately I had noticed that his BBRT profile said "positive", so I assumed he had converted or at least assumed he had converted. 

Today he thought we were "swapping strains". My dick wasn't completely cooperating (tired from the bike ride over there). So we took a break and I asked if he wanted to jack off and stick his dick in my ass as he was humming (most of the time I'm not in the mood to bottom - I prefer topping). He had been rock hard the whole time and it took him like 5 seconds to shove into me. Even though he didn't go in far it hurt like hell and felt like it was ripping a bit. It was as he was humming that I finally said "poz me, poz my neg ass". But he still probably figured it was fantasy talk. 

When he pulled out (he was barely in) I got up and told him I'd had a neg test two weeks ago and hadn't taken PrEP in two years. That's pretty much the truth. Last time I took PrEP was February 2020, and I had been really sloppy about taking PrEP since late 2017 (e.g. slightly more loads in my ass than pills of PrEP since then). He seemed a bit hesitant when he responded. He said he'd finally gotten a confirmation test last month (later he told me it was a home test) and he was going to wait as long as possible to go on meds. 

Taking his toxic load got me rock hard, unfortunately he's one of those guys who can't get fucked after they cum. Too bad - I could have given him my last neg load…

I'm rock hard as I write this. In thinking about it I've been seriously considering getting pozzed for over a decade. In the late 90s I was turned on by the risk the guys were taking in TIM videos. And I remember being in bed at MAL in 2011 with a friend/fuckbuddy who was poz and not on meds and him offering to blow a load in me to make it happen. I almost took him up on it then. It just grew and grew over the years. Now the only thing I think about when I jack off is either getting pozzed or pozzing guys. As I'm getting older I figured it was kinda now or never. 

My only misgiving at this point is the awkward conversations I'll need to have with a few people at some point in the future. 

I texted with the guy after and he said he thinks he knows who pozzed him. He did have "the flu" back in December, but it wasn't too bad. I just hope I don't get fuck flu at an inconvenient or awkward time… At some point I'll have him give me another load - just to make sure it takes. 

Now to find some neg bottoms to fuck…

POSTSCRIPT: I tested neg a few weeks later (on a NAAT test that can detect HIV before there are antibodies). Either the guy wasn't toxic, or he faked cumming in me, or it all leaked out on the bike ride home, or it just wasn't enough virus to infect me.