To the lives we live together. 

 

James and I have been dating for three weeks now,

and things have been going quite smoothly.

 

To me,

I think that we passed the honeymoon phase a while ago.

It feels like we’re settling into the normalcy phase now—

where we’re starting to understand each other’s daily rhythm.

It’s no longer about being performative,

but just about being in each other’s presence.

Being able to be ourselves

and not always trying to impress the other.

 

We see each other in our PJs.

We go to each other’s houses and act like it’s our own.

And best of all—

and it’s something that’s been there from the beginning—

we can be honest with each other.

We can share our thoughts and feelings

without worrying about being judged.

 

James told me in the first week that he’s someone who falls in love very easily.

He knows this about himself.

He’s got good self-awareness.

So he usually gives four to six weeks

to see how things are going—

to wait for the honeymoon phase to fade,

to see if the feeling is still there.

 

I’m a little bit faster than he is.

My honeymoon phase lasts about a week.

 

I’m not sure if James still thinks we’re in the honeymoon phase or not.

But we’ve definitely moved into a routine now,

figuring out how to fit each other into our lives.

It’s an unfolding story.

I’m sure there will be many twists and turns.

And I think,

what we need to do for each other,

is just show up.

 

We’re in the phase now

where we’re still learning about each other.

And let’s be real—

there are tons of annoying things that we’ll find.

 

I noticed when we first slept together,

he snores.

A lot.

Very loudly.

 

He also scratches his head a lot—

his skin gets itchy from time to time.

My solution?

Noise-cancellation headphones.

But that only lasts for a few hours

before I have to charge them again in the middle of the night.

 

And last night,

when we slept together again—

he was snoring.

And you know what happened?

 

I didn’t have my headphones on.

They must have dropped somewhere in the bed.

But I didn’t mind.

 

It felt normal to hear him snore.

Comforting, even.

My ex used to tell me that they like to hear me snore, 

it means that I am sleeping deeply

that I feel safe enough to let my guard down around them 

and that feels nice.

 

Now I know how it feels to be on the receiving end. 

 

James woke up a bit tired though—

because unfortunately for him,

I’m also quite the snorer too.

 

He had trouble sleeping.

He’s now considering noise-cancellation headphones for himself. 

 

Now isn’t that a funny twist?