Hello Beautiful,

I went for a nightly walk earlier along a new walking track across from the high school. I can’t remember if it was built during your time, but there’s this nice circuit that crosses over the school and around the football field. It takes about 40 minutes to walk back home, which is a good amount of time to think and unwind about life for a moment.

Today, for the first time, I noticed that the trees they planted a long time ago have become quite big and sturdy. I remember when they used to be so small. And it makes me think—where did all the time go? Life is moving by very fast now and every day is becoming a blur, and I don’t know how I feel about it. I don’t think “scared” is the right word, but it’s definitely close to that space.

I think about how much free time I have after work—about five hours—and what I do with that time these days: gym, writing you this message, dinner, and then the rest of the time just… disappears. Maybe scrolling and watching random YouTube videos here and there. Maybe lounging around doing nothing. My old man once told me something that I’ll never forget: just go out there and spend the evening doing something pointless. In a society where it’s sometimes frowned upon to be unproductive, that quote really hits me. Perhaps life is just a lot of pointless moments stitched together after all.

I talk about time because I’m thinking of taking on piano lessons to accompany my singing lessons too. I think it’ll be a great way to boost my singing journey, but it also means more commitment. I’m very excited about it, since playing piano is something I’ve always wanted to do. So I can knock out two things at once, buddy. Can you believe that? We’re really doing the things we always said we would. It’s now or never, eh? I’m going to contact the music instructor tomorrow and we’ll go from there.

So that’s singing practice, piano practice, gym six times a week, eight hours of sleep, and trying to maintain a social life. And that’s not even including dates and relationships. It’s going to be a full-on couple of months and, to be honest with you, I’ve kind of kept it that way. To be even more honest, I think I’m doing it because I’m trying to run away from something—perhaps from thinking about Phil (though I’m getting better at not thinking about him lately), and maybe from thinking about dating for a bit. Just to focus on myself.

You’ll read a book in the future called This Is Me Letting You Go and you’ll be touched by a chapter that asks: what if you knew with certainty that you were never going to find the love of your life? That you’d be single forever? It’s a sad thought, but also a liberating one. And I think I’m starting to take that chapter seriously. If I never end up finding my partner in this lifetime, what are the things I still want to do? Singing? Learning the piano? Dancing? These are all options I’m finally pursuing.

Of course, I’ll still keep my eyes open for potential partners, mind you. But it’s interesting how my perspective has shifted recently.

Speaking of dating—it’s still a circus out there, buddy. That sure hasn’t changed. You’re still going to make a couple of solid friends from the experience though, so keep at it. But 99% of people on there are not your type. I ran into a few who gave me their number and said to move the chat to Instagram or WhatsApp because “it’s easier,” and they’re still terrible at replying. I have no idea how those platforms are easier than Hinge. There’s going to be a lot of ghosting, for whatever reason.

Whatever happens—and I think this is more of a reminder to myself—remember to treat people with kindness. Sometimes give them a chance to get their act together. That’s kindness you don’t have to give, but we believe that if we put enough positive energy into the universe, then the universe has a way of bringing it back to us tenfold. Don’t we?

I love you, buddy.

Have a good night.

Chat soon. xx