Hello beautiful,

I went to Ikea today with Agia and it was okay. There was a lot of traffic in the late afternoon; usually, I would go a lot earlier so that I could come home earlier, but Agia had to do his shopping and weekly errands, so we had to push it a bit later. I was pretty tired by the time I got there. We hugged and I gave my signature kiss on the cheek (you’ll be doing this a lot whenever you meet new guys on a date, by the way), and we walked into the showroom. I felt a mismatch in energy from the get-go, and I’m not sure if it was because it was the first time we met or something else, but it was slightly awkward. It felt as though we were just going through the motions, so to speak.

They didn’t have the curtains or rugs either, but then I checked again after I got home and it turned out they do have them after all! So I think I’ll make yet another trip there tomorrow to buy everything. I just checked the toll and it turned out to be fifteen dollars in total, which was more than I expected! I think it’ll save forty minutes of driving overall, and I’m not sure if I should take the scenic route (aka the long drive) and listen to a podcast, or just take the hit and make the trip quicker and more efficient.

Let’s talk about Agia for a second. Buddy, the spark was not there. I know what a spark or chemistry feels like. It’s that excitement for getting to know someone and feeling them return that same enthusiasm. It’s the kind of energy that makes me feel playful, engaged, even when I’m a little tired—but I didn’t feel that energy today. Instead, I could sense that he was a bit drained, maybe from work or lack of sleep. I could feel that he’s in survival mode right now, just trying to get through the days, and so he doesn’t have the emotional capacity to fit me into his life.

I remind myself what a spark feels like—I had it when I first met all my exes: with Van, Kevin, and even Phil. That feeling becomes the template for all future connections I build with someone. You can even feel it in the way someone writes—the tone, the flow, the spark in the language. For me, written communication is important not just because I’m a writer, but because if we end up living far apart, writing becomes the bridge that keeps the connection warm.

There was one part of the connection that got me thinking, though. Agia said he wanted to learn Korean, and that he was planning to self-teach by buying books. I ended up sharing with him a bit of wisdom I’ve learned over the past few weeks about learning something new—if the budget allows, get a teacher. A really good, patient teacher can fast-track the process. It definitely feels like a luxury, but it’s well worth the value in the long run. I could tell he was a bit apprehensive about the idea, so I didn’t push it.

On the drive home, I couldn’t help but feel deeply grateful that I’m in a position where I can afford things like singing and piano lessons at this stage in life, especially when so many people are struggling with rent and food. And while I always thank our parents for the sacrifices they made to get us here, I sometimes forget that we also worked really damn hard. We stayed focused at work, managed our finances carefully, kept both our mental and physical health in check, and built a strong philosophy on how to live. That’s worth recognising too.

Don’t stop striving for kindness and success, buddy.

I love you, always. Chat soon. xx