Hello beautiful,

I’ve decided to let go of singing for now, and I want to walk you through my reasoning. The original goal for singing was never really about gaining the confidence to pick up a microphone and perform—I already had that. The real issue was the uncertainty. I wasn’t sure about the technical side of singing, and I kept questioning myself: was I singing the song correctly? Would people judge me if I wasn’t? Most of it was probably just in my head, but I wanted to learn singing to quiet those voices.

After four lessons (with two more still to go), I’ve started to grasp the essence of how a song should be sung, especially when it comes to matching pitch—which was the part I was most unsure about. I feel more confident now. When I sing, I carry that knowledge in the back of my mind, but I also choose to bend the rules. Because singing, like all art, isn’t just about precision—it’s about interpretation. That uniqueness is what makes any art form beautiful. It reminds me of writing: at first, you learn proper grammar, but eventually, you start breaking the rules to create your own style. That’s why we love writing so much, isn’t it?

Piano, though—I’ll definitely keep going. I can see myself playing and mastering it over the next ten years until it becomes a daily rhythm, like the gym or writing. When I play, I feel the vibration of the notes in the air, in my fingertips, and deep in my bones. It feeds my soul. Closing my eyes, pressing the keys, I get transported somewhere peaceful, almost meditative. It’s a space I want to keep exploring in detail.

On a small detour—I’m still talking to Suf and Jan, though their messages have been a little sparse lately. Sometimes hours pass before I hear from them. I check my phone here and there, but honestly, I don’t feel sad or lonely when I see no reply. I just shrug, keep playing piano, go for a walk, or tidy the house. And you know what, buddy? That feels like growth. And it feels really good.

Have an awesome night, and an even better sleep. Chat soon xx