Hello beautiful,

My messages to you have been rather sporadic lately, and I’m trying to get back into the discipline of sending them daily. I had a singing lesson today, and it went pretty well. One of my piano coaches taught me to smile and laugh whenever I make mistakes—as a way of showing compassion and kindness to myself—and I carried that into my singing. Each time I slipped up today, I just smiled and laughed, and my teacher smiled along with me. It made everything so much lighter and less stressful. Singing isn’t meant to be stressful—but I still think it’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever done in my life.

I understand the theory and I know what I need to do, but I can’t quite get my body and my voice to cooperate yet. Still, I’m having a ton of fun with it, even if it’s challenging. Piano, on the other hand, is going really well. I’m learning jazz and experimenting with different rhythms—it’s sounding good, and I’m starting to get the hang of it. I don’t know if I’ll continue singing and piano long-term. This feels like a three-month “season of music” for me, and after those three months, I’ll reassess whether I want to keep going or not. We’ll see where it takes me.

My conversations with Brian are slowly and naturally fizzling out—which is what I want—but my conversations with Suf have become more fun. We did have one serious moment where he said he thought I might be falling for him. Not going to lie—I kind of am—but I know he’s emotionally unavailable, and I respect that. I told him we all have our own gardens. For him, after breaking up and now going through a healing process, his garden is still just soil. One day, it will bloom, and that’s when he’ll be ready to invite others in—but right now, it’s not the time, and I know that.

So now, our conversations are light, fun, and casual—and I really enjoy that. There’s no pressure, no stakes. I always look forward to his messages.

Have a good night, buddy. Love you always. Chat soon xx