Hello beautiful,

I’ve been feeling quite restless lately. There’s this quiet sense that I’m losing direction in life. Everything is calm and steady—my job, my gym routine, piano, and singing. It’s all very routine-based, which is good… but also a bit dull. Nothing feels particularly exciting.

I’ve noticed the restlessness showing up in strange ways. Like, this weekend I spent most of it just watching porn and jerking off—even though I wasn’t even hard. I also caught myself getting weirdly hyped about the new iPhone release. I don’t need another phone, but it feels like I’m waiting for something to inject excitement back into my life. And that doesn’t feel healthy.

I’ve been thinking of taking a break from piano and singing. I know the more I practice, the better I’ll get—but I don’t know. Right now, I’m leaning hard toward dropping both. I’ve still got two weeks to decide, so we’ll see. While I’m on the break, I think I’ll focus more on the fitness course. That project’s been on and off, but I’m feeling the itch to just sit down and grind again, to build something meaningful.

I also bought some new bowls this week—to elevate the eating experience. You know how we’re always chasing that soft kind of luxury? I think having really nice bowls and plates is a part of that. It’s made me want to get back into cooking. Maybe I’ll make a high-quality beef stew as part of my meal prep. Something slow, comforting.

Also—big shift—I met someone today. A Persian guy named Amin from Hinge. He invited me over for lunch at his Docklands apartment. He cooked for me, and I stayed for a few hours. He’s really affectionate, and I was surprised by how much I wanted to touch him. Like, really couldn’t keep my hands off him. That’s a big thing for me, because the last few guys I dated didn’t evoke that at all—either I didn’t want to touch them, or they weren’t physically affectionate.

Amin is 40, slightly insecure, but kind. He’s an electrical engineer at a renewable energy company and moved from Sydney to Melbourne about a year ago. It’s the first time I’ve dated someone Iranian. Usually it’s been Asians, and sometimes Caucasians—but this feels like stepping out of my comfort zone, in a good way.

I made a rule for myself a while ago: let love surprise you. And maybe, just maybe, this is one of those surprises. We’ll see.

We got a bit intimate—nothing anal—lots of sucking, and we napped together for a bit. I laid my head on his chest, and it felt warm and safe. I liked it. 

Hope you’re doing okay over there, buddy. Chat soon xx