Was in one of my rare moods to bottom yesterday. Long story short I'm more of a top, but I've been experimenting with bottoming. In the past my "experimentation" has helped me figure out that 1) I really don't like bottoming for ugly guys - at least not 1-on-1. 2) I like quick fucks, not long ones. I'm just not built for long fuck sessions. 3) If I'm not going to get multiple loads, I can't really be bothered to clean out. I mean a hour of cleaning out in the hope of getting 15-20 minutes of fucking just doesn't seem worth it. And yesterday I figured out 4) that I'm not a gangbang bottom…

I wasn't sure whether I wanted to bother with bottoming yesterday, but there were a few guys interested, so I cleaned out. But then getting people to follow through was an issue. One guy who's usually really dependable just disappeared online. Another guy didn't get back to me until later saying something came up. One guy did come through but then it turned out that he lived way up in the Bronx. It seemed like it was that or nothing, so I said yes.

Then he said there were a couple other guys coming over. I asked if they were partying, he said only 420, so I was OK with it, but a little apprehensive.

Right when I was about to leave this other older black guy contacted me. He said he was up for a quickie. He had fucked me once before - I thought he still lived in the neighborhood so I asked the first guy if I could come a half hour later and he said OK. But then it turned out the second guy had moved - but he had moved to the Bronx, so I figured I'd stop at his place on my way to the other guy.

I get to the guy's place and when he took off his clothes I remembered why it'd been a while since I'd hooked up with him - he's just not that attractive. But I was there, he wasn't awful or anything, it wasn't going to take long, and I was going to get a load out of it. So I got down on my knees and started sucking him.

When he got hard we got down to fucking. First with me on all fours. I hadn't been fucked in months and since I wasn't topping I didn't take Cialis, so I figured it would be safe to try poppers, but even with the poppers it hurt like hell going in. But he was patient and I got used to it, but then when he went back at it his dick really swelled and got considerably bigger and I was in pain again. So I did some more poppers and he slowed down until I was more or less used to it. (All in all the poppers didn't help much).

Doggy wasn't really the best position for him, so he got me flat on my stomach and fucked me that way. It felt like he was going in an out of my hole with every stroke. A few times he actually popped out and had to reposition to get it back in. I pushed my ass up just a little to where it seemed like he was hitting my hole the best and then kept it there.

I kept telling him "Breed me", "Cum in my hole", etc. to encourage him to blow his load, and pretty soon I could hear his breathing change and then he pushed in deep and unloaded what seemed like a big load deep in my ass.

When he pulled out my ass was all cummy. He asked if I wanted to clean up, but I figured it would be cool to show up at the other guy's place with a cummy hole, so I just got dressed and left.

When I got to the next guy's place all three of them were there, naked. The host was a lean, medium height black guy. One of the other guests was this big beefy black guy with a huge dick, and the other guy was a white guy who seemed like a sub bottom - though the host had said everyone was vers.

I took a piss and then got busy sucking the host's dick. He was soft and pretty small (a grower, not a shower). His dick didn't really respond to my sucking it. I wondered if he had already cum. He told me to suck the other black guy. I did, but honestly the big black guy didn't seem all that into me.

Then the host decided I needed to get fucked, but he wasn't hard enough (still), so he told the other black guy to fuck me. That guy's dick must have been 10" and thick. I was worried. Thing was, he wasn't fully hard. He shoved it in me and it was so spongey there really wasn't a problem taking it. The problem was keeping it in. The top was watching porn on the TV constantly. Honestly he didn't seem to care whether I was there or not. I was just a sensation on his dick as he imagined himself the black top in the video fucking the white bottom. It was actually pretty bad sex. He wasn't hard, he wasn't into me, etc.

Then the host decided to fuck me. At least he was into me. But his dick wasn't consistently hard. I asked if he had cum earlier and he said "a little". So basically no one there was really ready to cum. I'm not good with long fucks. I'm just not that good of a bottom - I find them painful. I endure getting fucked if I think the top will cum in the next few minutes. I'm in it for the load more than the fuck - but these guys clearly couldn't cum - so I started hating being there, but I was trapped under them with their dick in me.

Then the host took a break and had the big black guy fuck me some more. Actually I wouldn't quite call it fucking me. He just sorta held his dick in me and rocked back and forth. The white guy told me I needed to ask for it if I wanted to get it. So I started saying things like "Breed Me", "Give me that load", "Flood that hole", "Knock me up", etc. but none of it made any difference. I started wondering how in the hell I could get out of there.

At one point I moved slightly and the top had a hard time keeping his dick in me, so I took the opportunity to move more to make it clear I was done with him fucking me. Problem was the host then wanted to fuck me. He sat on the couch and told me to sit on him. I did, but that's a position where I'd have to really work to get the load IF he were up for cumming and he wasn't, so what was the point of working at it? I tried sitting the other direction with my back to him - same deal.

Finally I told the host I had to go soon. We tried fucking a little more, but finally I just said I had to go and started putting on my clothes.

All in all it was sort of a lame evening. I did get one load, but wasn't really into that top, and then the sex was just lame with the other guys. Guess you win some and lose some.

One thing I did realize was how similar the situation was to a gangbang where you have to take the dick whether you're enjoying it or not. Made me realize I'm not a gangbang bottom. I do like getting fucked by a lot of guys - but more in a sex party situation where I can roam from guy to guy and end things easily when they're not working out. Problem with sex parties is that you usually don't get a load - at parties I only get the load 1 out of every 3 or 4 times I get fucked. So need to experiment more to figure out how to get lots of loads