My post on a daddy-son incest group
I usually say I never been molested, but I'm 50% sure it happened... I just don't have clear memory or proof...
My doubts began when I was about 9 or 10... I always slept with an underwear, but that night I woke up in the night : my dad (who were around 32 y-o at that time) was there in the dark, putting the bed sheets back on my naked body, and my dad was naked too... I didn't mind at that moment, but I don't know, after a while I felt something was ''wrong'' about it (but not in a negative way), specially since I wasn't naked anymore in my bed.
Then, suddenly, I became obsessed with my dad without knowing why... We used to have showers together (since I was born until I was 14), and I knew well his body. He was tall, had nice muscles, and his cock was very thick even when not hard (I never saw his erection). One night, I was 10, I had a dream in which he took me to his work, then he sat on a chair, put me on my knees before him and made me suck his big beautiful cock. The moment I put his cock between my lips, I woke up and had an orgasm. After then, I began to stay awake at night while at his home to jerk my dick while hearing him moaning while being sucked by his wife. It felt like I was in love with him and I wanted to please him sexually, but never tried... sadly...
At 16, I wasn't in love with him anymore. He was getting older and less of my type of men since he was becoming just a little bit fat (but still good looking anyway, never ugly). One night, I found some evidences in his computer that he liked to watch younger girls (and some boys too, but rarely compared to the girls) pleasing Men (stories and cartoon, not real pictures, taken from the internet). That's how I realized I find myself attracted to the fact that I love it too, that... oh my god(!), how I wished I was 10 again and sucking my dad's cock...
I kept this to myself until one day, a situation happened, and I had some conversations with my mother about my dad. She told me that when I was really young (they were in the mid 20s), she found out my dad was a VERY horny man. She caught him jerking off outside of the house at night, looking at the neighborhood. He never knew she knows about it. She also found that he, one time, rented a gay porn video. He said it was a mistake but she didn't believe him.
Then, one think she told me... At one point, when I was very young (about 2 or 3 y-o), my dad used to take long baths with me, very often. She told me she felt he was molesting me in some ways, maybe making me touch his dick while I was young enough not to remember. But she never had a proof.
I guess something really happened... I don't know what, but if I ''fell in love with my dad at 10'', it wasn't for nothing...
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