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The next few entries are going to cover my very recent trip to Berlin. I stayed in Schoneberg for 5 night, I'm typing this as I've just got back my ass and cock are still tender and the memories are still fresh. I fly in to Berlin during the day and get to my apartment in less than an hour, it's a nice apartment with a great price, at first I couldn't believe it but I booked through ebab(a breedingzone user's suggestion) the week before I flew to Berlin I looked through both recon and bbrt to make up a top-do fucklist, I can now say that I never met one person from that list. I decided to take it easy for the first night so I looked at some of the tamer gay restaurants and bars in schoneberg. I came across one place that had a few people scattered throughout the bar, I sit up at the bar and politely ask "Sprechen Sie Englisch?" "A liddle?" the barman replies, he is very slim twinkish type who through some conversation, learned that he was from Prague and a singer, I casually asked him about the places in the surrounding area. "Well Toms is good for drinking and sex downstairs, there's New Action, next to that is the Bull, but don't go there, it's nasty. Everyone has AIDS" I can't get across tone in text form but if you could hear the disgust in his voice when he mentioned The Bull and his facial expression it might make you as uncomfortable as I was. Here's a guy who has no idea who he is talking to in Berlin, in the gay area and he says something like that to a stranger. One of his many favourite songs come on the radio and he begins to clap dance and wave his arms about while singing alone, putting on his own little show for the uninterested patrons, who seem like they've seen it all before. I finish my drink, and leave. I walk down to Cafe Heile Welt and head inside, it's a swank fancy bar, chilled out and full of guys and girls. The bar is full but there are some seats close by. As I sip on my third beer, I look around to see what kind of folk drinks here, seems to be the kind of folk who just out of the office, not exactly people I relate to. Then some older Italian gentleman at the bar raises his glass to toast me, I raise mine in return. We start talking, and he offers me a drink. After a while he leans in and start kissing, then he works his way to my neck(which I love) I grab at his crotch and he has a fat piece, he tell me to follow him to the toilet. He gets up and leaves. I get up after him, and as I walk in he is pissing into the urinal. He looks surprised that I followed him, maybe I misheard him. He shakes the last few drops of piss from his dick, it's a nice size, and looks semi-erect. He gives me a look and then looks down at his cock. I squat down and start sucking, I can taste the few drops of beer that leak out of his slit onto my tongue, and swallow him down to the balls, he pushes my head into his groin so hard that he stumbles back a little when my weight leans forward, he pulls his cock out, the only thing connecting us is the thick string of spit from my lips to his dick. "Would you like to finish your drink and come to mine?" "Yes please" I answer. I wasnt exactly searching for sex on the first night, but hey, I was ready for it. "Do you have poppers?" "I can get some" We walk up the street and he runs into a bar called Schuene to get poppers. I wait outside, as the door swings back open I can see from a glance that the place is a lot sleazier that the bars Ive seen so far. What lay ahead? I wondered. We get back to his nice apartment, and strip off and kiss, I suck his cock some more, as it grows I realise exactly what I'm in for. Oh dear. He puts me in the doggy position, a position I've never been most comfortable being fucked in for some reason, always makes me feel like I need to pee, but I go with it. Luckily he applies lube first, then slowly pushes it in, which catches my breath. Prior to this I hadn't been fucked for a month or two. It slid in and stayed deep for a while until my ass adjusted to it's girth, then he begins to fuck. Before long my legs are over my head and he's drilling my stretched hole. No mention of a condom and I didn't even go to the Bull, so much for that barman's skewed sense of how sex works. I moan in pleasure, "Do you want poppers?" I had totally forgotten about the poppers, was having too much fun. I take a deep hit from the freshly opened bottle, woah these are strong. I feel the thumping of my heart rate increasing. He starts to drive down harder, I feel his balls slapping my ass. So hot! I grip his hips and pull him into me, and deep and hard as I can. He spins me over onto my stomach, slams his cock into me all the way, wraps one arm around my neck and opens the poppers. Holding them under my nose as he grinds away inside me. The strength of the poppers is making me foggy and I begin to fade. He slams harder and faster as I go limp, my hole finally gives away and takes his pounding with no resistance. He moans, groans, and grunts and shoots ones right up into my guts. I pass out with exhaustion and popper rush. I feel tingling in my legs and come to. He pushes his fingers up into my hole, and then his knuckles really working his cum up in there. I turn around and kiss him then squeeze the last few drops of cum from his cock into my mouth. We sleep, go for brunch the next day and exchange numbers... By the time I got back to my apartment it was nearly evening, which meant it was time to get ready for a night out on the town. I wanted to check out TOM's, so I get ready and head out at about 10PM. I enter the club, there is a bar to my right and coat check to my left, there are a handful of people sitting at the bar and one of two guys on the benches opposite. I perch myself on the barstool and grab a beer. One or two overly confident scantily dressed guys pace the bar area cruising for someone to take downstairs into the darkroom. Two Arabs sitting next to me at the bar strike up a conversation with me. They are both thin and approx early thirties. One guy takes a shine to me and tells me all about himself, I'm not too interested and try to look for some other dudes while being polite. He tells me his fetish is feet and guys stomping food and making him(as a slave) eat it from the sole of their shoe. "To each his own" I thought. It's a relatively safe fetish compared to some of the activities I've gotten up too. "Can I lick your feet please?" he asks me. "Aaah it's not really my thing, I'm more bottom" at this point I'm ready to check out another section of the bar. He keeps pleading with me to just try it, then his friend also asks. There is only so many times I can say no, so I tell him just a few minutes. His face lights up. "Ok let me take you to the dark rooms". The dark rooms in Tom's are, well, dark. A pitch black maze, with audible groans and slapping and rutting going on. This gets me hard immediately. I have no interest in the guy I'm with or the kink he's into, but my imagination is running wild with the thoughts of sex I could be having. He leads me into a seated area and I take a seat. He then squats down and grabs my right foot and takes a large lick of the sole of my boot. God only knows what I've been stepping in down here, this guy is doing something I simply couldn't. But he's really getting into it, I push my left foot against his crotch to feel a hard lump. He then pulls off my boot and smells inside, all the while pushing my other foot harder against his dick. He then presses my (white) socked foot against his face and breathes in deep, just like he is taking a hit of poppers. I start to get into it, and I'm becoming aroused. He opens up wide and swallows all of my toes, pushes on my heel to get my foot deep in his mouth and makes himself gag on my foot. The idea of wet socks for the rest of the night is loosing appeal to me. So I tell him to take them off, he does this with pleasure. I then get the most awesome tongue bath I've every had, never experienced this before but woah, it's a hot feeling. After drenching both my feet in his saliva, I'm feeling horny as fuck. So I grab his head and bury it in my crotch, grinding on his mouth and nose and just generally humping his face. Before things can get interesting, his friend finds him and complains he's bored. At this point both men start arguing in a very camp annoying way. "Fuck this" I think, I'm going to The Bull. The Bull is a 5 minute walk from TOM's, I buy a bottle of Rush from behind the bar and make my way down. I get there and it seems from the outside like a very nondescript bar. My heart starts to thump, it's a similar feeling to that I got before I entered my first gay bar in New York. How far I've come since those days, what a difference a year makes, huh? I build up the courage and enter the bar. It's a small bar, dive like, with different porn playing on each TV all bareback, all raunchy. I check my coat in and buy an energy drink. I've had enough beer and need my energy up. There was about 3 people at the bar, so I went straight ahead to the back room. It had an area where people slept, I later learned this bar stays open 24/7 so people can nap off the alcohol or whatever other chemicals were coursing through their veins. There was a fuck bench, a sling, and a benched area all around with guys sitting jerking off. I walk around the backroom advertising myself to those who look like tops. One older muscled guy see's me and calls me over, he is sitting down playing with his soft cock, fully nude. I stand in front of him and he pulls up my t-shirt and kisses my stomach. Then forces me down to his crotch and slowly positions my face in between his balls and inner thigh. I begin to kiss him. Then move to his balls, they are nicely scented low hangers, I swallow both and look up to see his face, he nods in approval then pushes his soft cock in with both balls, so his genitals are resting deep in my mouth. I fondle everything with my tongue, and feel his cock swelling, I then work his cock. He likes me swallowing it deep, which I love also. When I eventually come up for air I get a whack across the face, and he pushes my head back down on to his cock and thrusts like hell. His dick is still only semi-erect so it's easy to take down my throat, it feels nice as it's large but soft. I come up for air and met with another hard smack across the face. He speaks something in German, "Ich spreche kein deutsch" I tell him, "You like?" he asks in a deep manly voice. I nod "yes". He turns me around so I'm facing away from him, then bends me over. He pushes his semi-hard cock against my hole, I try to push out to allow him to enter me, it bends against my hole then eventually pops in. He begins to fuck his soft dick into me deep and rough. He is quite aggressive, I start to wonder if it's because of his lack of erection. His eyes seem a little spaced, I wouldn't be surprised if he had taken something. This seems like the kind of place, plus at this stage it's early morning, and all the freaks are out He pulls out and makes me suck him again. I do my very best to make him grow inside my mouth but it isn't happening. I feel two hands take me from behind as I'm working this soft cock. The person takes off all my clothes, then penetrates me with two fingers. The cock in my mouth is swelling again. He flips me around, and jams it in again, there is a large black guy in front of me wagging his cock. I swallow it down like a good boy. I try to concentrate on both giving good head and squeezing his friends cock with my hole. I get a few hard spankings from both guys as I do my thing. I take a huff from my bottle of rush. I start to realise the sleaziness of the situation, it drives me wild, I love being used, and think of the mentality of the tops using me. It turns me on further. The white guy pulls out and his cock is still only semi erect. He shoves my head down to take care of it. I then feel the black dude at my back door, his dick really hurts going in, I take another large hit, I feel his dick press against my bladder, it's uncomfortable. I'm taken away from the sitting soft German by the large black guy. He throws me in the sling. Then enters me slow. I take another hit, I feel pretty high. He grunts and groans as his dick slams against my insides. I feel like my inner organs are being shifted around, I really want him to stop but don't want to pussy out. "This is what you wanted" I tell myself, "This is why you came to Berlin, so take it!" As I'm being skewered by this big black man he sticks his fingers in my mouth and grips my jaw, like a handle, and fires off like he's about to cum. He cums, groans and collapses on top of me. He pats me on the face to indicate a job well down. As his dick leaves my holes I feel some of the cum seep out and down my back, between me and the sling. I reach under to feel some and smell it, it's a strong cummy smell. As the black guy leaves a filthy looking skinhead parks himself right at my hole at the base of the sling. He slaps my open hole with his fat cock, it's not as large as the black guys, which makes me happy, as I get a break. This guy looks fucked, jaw is gurning, glassy eyes, piercings on his face, tattoos, very sleazy, very hot. He has a large metal cock ring at the base of his cock and balls. He slides his dick in with ease. It makes me tingle, I take another hit of poppers. My heart thumps in sync with the loud dance music(I guess that's why they play it) without hesitation he penetrates me deep, pushes against my ass hard, I feel the metal ring enter me, it's so fucking hot. He fucks away, balls slapping, he's dripping sweat on me, this guy is high and loving being inside my ass, and I'm loving it too. He pulls me into him, and we make-out, he tongues me deep. He grips both hands around my throat and squeezes. I get tunnel vision, sound becomes distorted. I wake up in the sling. The skinhead is fucking me like crazy whilst pushing down hard on my stomach, I feel the stinging pain that I have to pee. He's trying to get me to piss myself. But I simply can't. I ask him to stop, he does. "Would you like to go to my apartment?" he asks me in a strong German accent. I accept the invite. I pick up my clothes from the dirty floor, and get dressed, we head out into the daylight, it's blinding, the skinhead is dressed entirely in leather, he looks like a comic book character. I'm very turned on. He brings me back to his place. The more I'm with him, the more I notice how incredibly high he is. We get back to his and I strip off, he throws me on his couch and pushes my legs behind my head. He enters me dry, no lube, no prep. Slowly pushing himself deeper into me until it reached the cold metal of his cock ring. After some fucking, he takes his dick out, and presses both of his large smooth balls against my hole, he tries sitting down so they will go in. I push out hard to open my hole, some more of the black guy's cum pours out "Oh yaaah geile!" his balls slide into my ass. The feeling is incredible, it brings me directly back to new york during the meth binge. Only I'm not on meth, and I don't want to be either, I've achieve that level of horniness without the use of drugs. He fucks me for an hour or so more, as deep and as hard as possible, my hole has totally submitted it just craves cock hard fast deep. We both collapse on the couch in a sweaty pile. "Did you cum?" I ask, expecting the answer to be no on the count of the drugs. He smiles, "Three times". Hell yeah. Just what I needed to hear. I'm tingling and exhausted, I fall asleep for a few hours and wake up covered by a blanket with him sitting next to me watching TV. What a nice dude, for such a sleaze ball(like myself lol) He gives me his PlanetRomeo handle and I get stepping, it's a surprisingly short walk back to my apartment, I'm spent. I get into the shower and push out a healthy load of cum. I'm on cloud 9, I've decided I need to be here. This was a nice introduction to The Bull but the best was yet to come. "Ich liebe Berlin!"

I had been talking to a guy online for about two months before this point. Let's call him Tom. Tom had a profile on BBRT NKP and here on breeding zone. I had been wanting to experiment with chemsex for about 6 months before I left for the states, I had been watching some videos to see what the deal was. I believe it was this site that introduced me to the concept, before hand I had no idea about meth use in the gay community(or a subsection of the gay community) but I had it in my head that if I was to try it, it should be in America(where I could get away with it). Plus it seemed to be more available over in the states. What I was looking for was tough, a top who was willing to introduce someone to Tina for the first time who also was hiv negative. This may not seem like much. But first of all nobody seemed to even respond to me on NKP(maybe they were too high) I was beginning to this it was an online ghost town, or that perhaps my account was broken. After searching for some time, I found two profiles that matched the requirements, a neg Top, who can administer. I messaged both guys. One replied "Any pics?" I sent him some pics of me, including a face pic. "Hmmm any more pics?" He wasn't sure. A little disappointing. The next guy I message replies "I would love to meet". However plans changed and we didn't get to meet for quite some time(scheduling conflicts). This was a good thing in some respect. We managed to talk a little more and I felt comfortable this was an honest and open guy, he was in his 40's and seemed mature, extremely attractive, and sexually right up my street. He asked for porn vids that I found hot so he had an idea of what I was into. He liked these very much. We eventually arranged to meet a little over one week before I was set to leave. He was situated up the top of Manhattan and told me to meet him around 9pm. I took the train up, then hopped a cab to his place. A nice apartment complex. I don't remember feeling nervous. Strange really, I felt more nervous walking into a gay bar, or sucking off my first New Yorker, but this, what would be the most extreme thing I was about to partake in, and I felt eerily calm. I also remember thinking very calmly "I could die here" just before I pressed the buzzer. He unlocks the door from his room upstairs, I'm not told what room number or floor he is on, but the second I step in I get a text. "Be right down, have to get something from the basement" I wait in the foyer. Probably a good time to mention my previous experience with drugs. Tried ecstasy a handful of times, first two times were great, the rest sucked. Cocaine 3 times previously, got absolutely nothing from it(became quiet and fidgety) and weed on a handful of occasions. In no way was I a drug user, never partied and played, with the exception of weed with two guys in NYC. So why I was actually doing this I have no idea. But I'm hoping it's good. Tom comes down to meet me, and we both head to the laundry room where he empties the machine. He seems rushed, I spend my time examining him as he does his laundry. His head is shaved(bald), he has a grey goatee, very handsome masculine look, dressed in a tank top and sweatpants, he's in good shape. He really is a perfect match. Perfect Daddy. I wonder if he's high already, but I think he isn't How will he be with me, what will I do when I'm high? "Positive thoughts" I keep telling myself in my head. Positive thoughts. We enter his apartment, it's nice, big, he leads me to the bedroom. A large bed is covered with rubber sheets, to the left of the bed on the floor is a large duffel bag, filled with all kinds of sex toys. To the right is a computer and desk, on the desk lay some syringes. Now my heart starts to race a little. "Do you want to have a look through the toys?" "Sure". He shows me his collection, rubber cock and ball rings, rubber anal inserts, large buttplugs(one shaped like a sperm), sounds kit(makes me wince), rope, cuffs, things that I couldn't even identify. "That's an impressive collection" I say, wide-eyed. "Yeah. So I'm thinking we get you in a harness" He instructs me to take my clothes off. Then he puts the harness on me and tightens it. I feel infinitely sexier. I've never worn a harness before or since, but it felt great. He began to explain the benefits of said harness. "So when I'm fucking you I can just grab it like this, and pull you towards me" he says as he demonstrate by grabbing the shoulder straps and pulling me towards him, this makes me horny. "Hmm, a rubber jockstrap." He then takes a jockstrap from his bag, again, I've never worn one before this. It fits well and covers up that dick of mine. I'm slowly being transformed into his toy, there is only one thing left. He talks me through the whole experience, what it will feel like, how he preps the meth by pouring hot water until the crystals have fully dissolved, etc etc. He then shows me about 4 or 5 videos of slamming, and explains what the person might be feeling. "Ok so are you ready?" "Have you ever done this with someone for the first time?" "No, never introduced anyone" I sit on the cold rubber bed, he props two pillows behind my back. "Hmm, hang on." He goes to the bag, and takes out two of those, I actually don't know what they are called. Like small leather hoods that go over your hands. and leather cuffs. He loosely ties me to the bed. ​"It'll be interesting to have you tied up for your first slam" My heart starts to pound faster, the nerves are coming in hard and fast. Should I look at the needle going in? Maybe not. Everything will be fine. He holds the needle up to the bedside lamp. "They're full dissolved, see? Let's see how hard it is to find a vein." He runs his finger over the inside of my elbow, a vein comes up immediately. He then puts on the tourniquet and waits a few seconds. Wipes my arm with a pad and sticks the needle into my vein. He pulls back I look, see red inside the needle, then look away. "Ok. Now tell me if you feel any burning or stinging in your arm." I look again, he slowly pushes the plunger until the meth is inside me. He then snaps off the tourniquet and looks at me. I feel nothing. He gives me a look as if to ask how I feel. "Nothing?" I say, smiling nervously. He looks in disbelief. "Nothing?" "Nope" "Are you sure?" "Yeah I don't feel anything" "Hmm, that's crazy. Maybe I didn't give you enough" He turns around to look at the syringes on his desk. I let out a nervous laugh. "Maybe if I moved around a little" I say as I bend my arm up and down(as much as it will go with the restraint) Then I feel a sudden tingle in my legs, reminiscent of the first time I tried E(which I was the last to come up on then too), then BAM! This indescribable rush goes through me, my breathing becomes heavy and I blow out a long shaky "woah" I look at Tom, he seems excited. "OK....nowitsworking" I say in a short burst. I start to feel myself and wish these restraints vanished. I start to feel as if I could make them disappear if I really wanted to. Tom sees me squirming in ecstasy on the bed. "Now I know it's working." He then turns around and straps up his arm and gets ready to slam himself. I writhe around feeling everything with my body, everything tingles in such an amazing way. This is too good for words. I'm loving this, nothing has happened yet and I'm loving it already, I think of a thousand scenarios of what will happen throughout the night in the space of a second or two. My mind is well and truly fucked! It's very hard to focus on anything, everything has a shudder effect. I hear Tom exhaling heavily I look over and he's whipping of the strap from around his arm. "Fuck" "Fuck" I say almost at the same time. He seems very controlled, I don't know how he does it. "Do you have sensitive nipples?" "Not really" I answer. "You will". He then straps two sucking cups to my nipples and pumps them until they stick. "Thank you so much for this" I gush, I feel forever in his debt. I become overtly grateful and complimentary, he smiles knowing it's the drugs doing their work. He also becomes very talkative, he asks me about the first time I had sex. He raps my legs around his waist and I start to grind against him as I describe my first time. "Tonight will be a night of firsts" He tells me in that calm and hushed voice. For some reason we both feel the need to half whisper to each other. "Ok let's get these off" He removes my restraints as I thank him again for being so generous to have me over and get me high. He thanks me for coming. "God if we met earlier? I'd send you home stupid". After some talking, he takes my head and buries it into his armpit. I lap away at it as he moans. He takes the suction cups from my nipples and twists them as I start to suck on his. I still don't feel sensation in my nipples, however the rush from the meth was too much to notice if I did. This was perhaps the most sexually confident I had ever felt, I had to constantly remind myself, this is actually happening. I move down to work his cock. He tells me to suck it hard, so I do,gripping with my like and sucking down on his soft veiny dick to the balls, he grabs both balls and pushes them against my mouth "open" I try to accommodate for both cock and balls but it proves too hard, even though his cock is only semi erect, his balls are far too big. I settle for one ball and a dick in the back of my throat, my mouth is stuffed. He likes the feeling as I gag and retch. Eyes water, stomach knots, body squirms. Next I take both his balls in my mouth which is another mouth-filling task, his dick lays on my face with his wet helmet resting on my right eye. I feel like a good little slut. He tells me to smell his dick, which smells of precum. After sucking his dick some more it becomes hard enough to fuck with. He puts a rubber cock ring and ball separator on himself and tells me lie back. I put my legs in the air and present my hole for fucking. "No." he says. "Put your feet here" he motions to his chest. I place both feet on his chest and he slides his cock into my ass. At first my hole rejects him, pushing him out when he gets into a rhythm. It's the Tina, it has made my ass tighten up. However, I have an idea. I get up and take out a bottle of poppers out of my bag and lay back on the bed. "Maybe if you choke me" I suggest. He places his open palm against my neck, just under my Adam's apple, then moves up and down to find the strongest pulse. I take a huff of my poppers and raise one hand in the air(this is a safety technique I use at first with some guys, when the hand drops, I'm out and they should let go. Any longer and it could become quite dangerous). He presses down, not too hard, but enough to make my feet tingle. Everything goes tunnel vision. I'm back in Ireland doing something menial or talking to a friend or something. All of a sudden a man's face appears from nowhere, then a room behind him, where am I? Confusion. I feel a heavy tingling and something moving in and out of my hole. It has a similar feeling to pins-and-needles. Then I remember where I really am, in an apartment in New York, high on meth, being fucked unconscious by a complete stranger who could have killed me with little effort. The rush of realization is incredible. My breathing becomes heavy "Wow! Oh my God" He leads in to make out with me, his dick is now in my ass without me pushing it out. "Did you have a little dream, baby?" "Yeah, how long was I out" "Only about 5 seconds, don't worry." He fucks me harder and although his cock isn't rock hard it feels incredible. I could feel the rubber of the cock ring against my hole. I wanted everything he had inside me. "I think I can get my balls in you" he lets out in a grunt as he thrusts back and forth. "Yeah?" I ask with some scepticism, the drugs have taken away any pain the fucking may have caused, but it in no way made my ass wider, in fact it had a tightening effect on my hole. This problem was solved with a little force, or a nice choke-out. "Yeah, I think so. Hang on." He rolls me back so my ass is in the air, he then stands over me and squats down. I feel him pushing against my hole and decide to push out, hoping it will let him in. This works and he pushes his balls inside me. He pulls them out "Oh fuck" he lets out in pleasure. He pushes just his balls into my hole a few more times, dipping them in and out until it becomes easy. He then pushes his sloppy cock into my widened hole, followed by both balls. Everything is inside me. It has to be the best feeling I've ever had during sex, it's incredibly hard to describe that pleasure, knowing you're connected to another man by both his cock and balls, they fit tightly into your hole. You are being completely used as a place for him to rest his dick and balls. The feeling of his pelvis pushing against your ass, knowing there is nothing further that can go in, he is as deep in you as he can possibly go. Amazing! I feel with my hands to ensure everything is in. I rub his taint while he grinds against me. He stops moving, but I continue to grind in a circular motion, churning my insides with his balls and dick. "Hold still" he tells me, he looks focussed and stares into the distance. "You feel that?" "Nope" "I'm pissing inside you" "Oh fuck!" I concentrate on the feeling, a tingling in my lower back, I'm being used as this guy's urinal. "Ugh, it's hard to piss in this position". He only pees a little in me before slowly pulling his balls and cock out of my piss-filled whole, he keeps me propped up with one hand. "Don't move boy. Fuck yeah" he spits in my gaping hole. Then reaches into his bag of toys for a large butt-plug. He spits on it, and pushes it against my ass lips, it's not going in as easy as it should. He calmly instructs me to breath in and out, eventually the rubber plug slides right in, filling my ass completely. After about 30 minutes of playing, I go to the toilet to take out the plug and push out the piss. I feel very wobbly on my feet but very happy also. I notice that when the plug comes out there is no more piss up my ass. I feel around to check. Either my ass has absorbed the little piss there was, or it's gone a lot deeper than I can reach. The next few hours become a blur. I get slammed again which is so much stronger than the first, I cough and it hits me like a euphoria freight train. This turns Tom on greatly. We make out more, fuck, suck toys and attempted fisting. He could slide four fingers but not past the knuckle. I found it extremely hard to concentrate on what was going on, everything spun and shuttered, I felt fantastic, almost a state of frenzy. When Tom is on top of me he sweats so much it dribbles down onto my face and chest, almost like a tap. Our sweat has a distinct smell, a chemical smell because of the meth. He takes me to the shower to cool off. I check the time and hours have gone by. It's about 10.00am the next day. "My boyfriend will be home soon" What? Oh no, "is this going to get awkward?" I think. I say nothing. "It's ok though, we could always go to the bathhouse" First time for everything. I let him know I'm up for this adventure and he tells me to get dressed and meet him at the nearby subway, while he cleans up and gets dressed. I walk to the nearest subway, it's a hot day out and people are up walking to work. I'm very aware of my movements, not to act like a tweaker. He eventually meets me and we head towards the bathhouse. It's not long until we are there. I'm becoming paranoid that people will know I'm high. Tom seems fine. We get our locker key and head to our room. After stripping, I head to the locker with our clothes. To large black men check me out in my jockstrap(given to me by Tom) the place seems pretty empty, which doesn't surprise me given the time. I put away my stuff and head back to our booth/room. I'm tingling all over and moving faster than usual. I get in and Tom lunges at me, jamming his tongue down my throat and shoving his fingers up my hole. I turn to liquid in his arms, the feeling is very hot. He has a small bag of toys with him. He takes out a large metal buttplug. It's very wide, "Guess where this is going" he says as he slaps it against the palm of his hand. "No way" "Get on all fours" I climb onto the bed on all fours. He squirts some lube onto the top of the plug, then pushes against my ass. I feel there is know way this will fit. I try to push out to open my ass up. "Breath, relax." He instructs. It's hard to do so, even though there is no pain at this point(from the drugs) I'm still nervous of damaging my ass. I breath in and out. Then take a big hit of poppers and repeat. I feel it enter my hole, it begins to hurt. "Damn, is this nearly in" I think to myself, then my ass retracts. "It's in" he tells me, before leaning in to gently kiss my ass cheek and tell me "good boy". He slaps the base of the plug and every time he does is sends an extremely pleasurable shiver up through my insides. He lays me back on the bed and spreads his ass cheeks. "Stick out your tongue" I do, then he sits down hard on my mouth. I work my tongue slowly up and down he asshole, trying hard to push my tongue deep. He lets out a series of moans and groans to indicate he loves the sensation. He then grabs the back of my head and really pushes me into his hole. He wants me to go deeper and I can feel his hole pushing out against as my tongue slides deeper. My tongue is stretched out to the point of pain, but knowing the pleasure it gives him causes me to endure it. This goes on for a few minutes(with a few air breaks) before he lifts his hot ass from my face. He hands me down a rubber butt plug. "I want you to put this up my ass" "Can you pass me the lube?" "No just use spit" He opens my mouth and slides the plug all the way down to the end, I gag, he pushes further, fucking my throat with the plug. This gets him off. He sits on the end of the plug and forces it down my throat with his ass. I'm now being smothered and choked. I cough up some spit. and he takes the plug out and turns it around, facing his hole. I take it off of him and push. It takes some force and I worry about hurting him, but he seems to be fine. It eventually goes up his hole. I smack the end of it as he done with my and he groans in ecstasy. We make out for a while with plugs up our asses, I then go to give him a blowjob. After some time sucking his semi-flaccid cock I feel it's time to take the plug out. I leave our room to walk to the toilets. I get a few propositions on the way, but ignore them in a chemmed out haze. I enter one of the cubicles and try to push out the plug. This is more difficult and painful than getting it in. I finally manage to pull the metal plug from my insides and the thing is hot. Really hot. Hard to hold. I have to run it under a cold tap before I can carry it back to the room. By the time I get back he has jerked his cock hard. And places me on all fours before fucking me for quite some time. "Shit I've got to go to work soon" I wonder how he can even think of working, as my mind is so confused and fried from the meth, I could barely see straight. I guess this guy is well used to this kind of activity. This worries me slightly. Maybe all isnt as it seems with him. He edges himself with my ass a number of times but is too uptight to cum. "Wanna meet me later on, say 7pm?" "Ok". We both head to the showers. As we wash up he tells me "I think I have to piss" "Can I drink it" "Sure, get down there." I get down on my knees and open up. He shoots hard, like a fire-hose down my throat. It tastes extremely strong but I swallow every drop. As we walk back to our room to get dressed it hits me hard. It had totally slipped my mind that his piss was filled with strong chems, and it sent me flying high. "You feel it?" He asks me in a hushed tone. It really tickles him that I'm high as a kite in public. We get dressed and leave the bathhouse. I get home(somehow) and try to get some sleep. This is impossible. I am shaking like a leaf and sweating buckets. I go to the bathroom to have a cold shower. I look in the mirror. My face frightens me, it looks so different to what I usually see. There is a deadness in my eyes. I try not to focus on it, and shower and change. By the time this is done it's almost time to head out the door again. I get to Tom's apartment again, his eyes are red. He looks like he's just shot up. "Hey baby, come in" I come in and undress. "Ready for another slam?"

So, here I sit, coming down from three days of partying. Feel like shit but the butt is tingling - so there are advantages. I never was very good at pointing myself. Primarily, it is because I have thin shallow veins. I can get the first one okay most time but after that it is hit or miss. Mostly, miss. Sometimes at the end of a session, my arms look like that of a hard core junkie. I started pointing back in the 80s and luckily I had admins around to assist. When I was left to doing it myself, the frustration caused me to quit. I am amazed that those of you who can slam and remain calm enough to do more slams latter on. Guys, if it is good T, I will shake like a leaf after the first injection and that's how all the other ones afterwards get blown. I try breath control, concentration, you name it to calm my self down and nothing works. After the session before this past weekend, I was firm in stating that if I keep blowing it, I was going to stop slamming (again like I did back in the 80s). So, I started Friday night. After the first slam which was okay - not the best product - I decided to do a bigger slam. I loaded the syringe, swabbed the area and proceeded at usual and as I am placing the needle to hit the vein I identified, I realize I am not shaking. Damn good hit. This went on for about 5 hours. Had a great play session. Went home and around noon, I realize that my ass was twitching. I am a bottom/versatile guy. The guy I played with the night before was a total bottom. I sat on a few toys and plugs while I was with him, but not my ass is screaming, Where is Mine? Before trolling the various sites, I decided to slam again. I knew I had better product at home. Okay I did not get the first site because the vein kept rolling, but the second was right on and again no shaking. Dudes, I have shattered veins from shaking and having the needle move on me Hot piece Saturday afternoon. I was in heaven. Sunday morning a bud was passing through town with new product he had just gotten and I was slamming by noon and continued through this morning. Now I am so toxic a slam would not do me any good, so I'll stay off for few days. Just before sitting down to write this blog, I began to think about how devious T can be. I was totally committed to stopping if the shakes and blown product continued. How deceptive the desire to keep on courting her will change physiology. I will not lie, I love the rush and the sexual acrobatics that follow (and yes, probably addicted to it). With her I keep going further than I would allow myself to go. And right now, I see no need to stop. So nothing is going to change right now. However, at least I am aware of another factor it is doing to me. But, to paraphrase a line from the Morphine's song, "Candy" "Tina says she wants me with her down in Tinaland."

I was messaged by a member of this site who is also on BBRT(where he got in touch) "Have you heard of The Orgy Guy?" To which my answer was no. "Get invited to an orgy, you wont regret it stud ;-)" This piqued my interest so I googled this orgy guy. In coming across his blogspot page I was met with the same nervous excitement that comes over me when I discover a new fetish, or meet a new guy that I know will push my limits or pull me out of my comfort zone. Like the kind of Top who messages you in the same "you are a slave and I will hurt you" tone of voice in which his profile is written. Who doesn't ever speak to you like a human so you are not sure if they are fully sane. That nauseous but horny feeling was creeping up on me when I was reading the conditions on rsvping to one of his events and thinking "am I actually gonna do this?". After some thought, the answer was finally "fuck it, let's do this". However, I realised I couldn't actually find a contact address or info on his blogspot page, the only other site he was on was a google plus account, so I thought that would have to do, since I could find no email address anywhere. No response. For days no response. Maybe he didn't do orgies any more. Maybe he(like many including me) never checks his Google + account. I had to get a better contact. So back to the barebacker, I asked if he knew, after all it was this guy who suggested him. He was slow to respond but eventually I got an email address. Before I go on, anyone in the New York City area or those planning to visit, I highly recommend you try one of these Orgies, the guy who runs it is one of the nicest guys you can meet and it was a great experience. I emailed The Orgy Guy with his requirements, my stats, some info about myself and a full body pic(nude). The only real requirement is that you are in some way height weight proportionate, he's in no way a body fascist, but anorexic or morbidly obese was a no-go. He even had stats on his site about the average age range and top to bottom ratio. Now the Orgy Guy ran two different nights. Peak and Eruption. Peak is a night for guys who use condoms, and Eruption is for guys who go bare. For the purpose of this site and fantasy, I want to say I attended the Eruption party and was filled with 50 cumshots from anon guys. BUT, since this a completely honest account of my time, I must tell the truth. The truth is, I had no intention of catching hiv or anything else, and although I had a few Bareback encounters I was doing my best to be smart about the guys who I slept with, guys who seemed to not only claim they were neg, but who were recently tested or got regularly tested. My attempts so far were working, according to my rapid hiv tests that I was frequently taking at local free clinics. If I was to enter the Eruption party, all bets were off. What am I going to do? Ask every swinging dick "do you know your hiv status?" before they fuck me silly? Not only is that putting guys in an awkward position(which I wouldn't want to do), it just doesn't fit in with my submissive nature. So if I rsvp'd to Peak so I wouldn't have that problem and I'd enjoy the fuck just as much. The Orgy Guy responded and gave me a list of the next event. Which was only two days away. I couldn't wait. The Party went from 7 till 1, in a nice apartment in Manhattan, I decided to show up at 8, as by then there would hopefully be a few people there already. I stand across the street, watching the door to see if anybody enters. An man in his late 50's enters the apartment which confirmed for me that it was the right place. I head to the door. The Orgy Guy greets me and I enter the apartment. As you walk in there is a toilet to the right, to the left a screen. Behind the screen is a bed and some chairs, with porn playing on the TV. I got stripped down to my boxer briefs and put my clothes into a bag and gave them to Guy. Then paid the 10 bucks donation and decided to tour the apartment. Upstairs was the toilet, bed and seating area, downstairs(the basement) led me to two rooms. One room, a small room with two stools and a sling, made my cock twitch immediately. I had never been in a sling before, this I must try! The next room was a larger benched(or ledge) area with a bunk bed type structure that acted as a tent(as there was no bottom bunk, it simply acted as a den) and a shag rug on the ground. All dimly lit with candles and smelling of incense and poppers. This is where everybody was at first. 6 guys all in a circle, nobody noticed me enter the room. They all seemed to be watching something. I walk over to watch. An older guy (daddy type with beard) on his knees sucking the dick of an athletic black man(mid 30s). As I watched, I could feel hands groping my arse and bulge. I look to the guy who's groping me. A guy in his 30's attractive, very good body, which is normally someone I wouldn't go for(too young and too toned) but I was determined not to turn down any cock that came my way. He immediately goes in for a kiss, we make out and he gropes my ass cheeks. Pealing down my underwear and grabbing my cock to jerk it stiff, I wonder if the attention has shifted from the blowjob. As I come out of the kiss for air I notice it has, a few people are watching. One joins in, two fingers pressing against my hole. The guy I'm making out with pushes my head down to his very nice uncut cock. I think this was the first uncut dick I've seen since I arrived in the states. Other than mine of course. Instead of pulling back the foreskin I slide my tongue underneath it and taste the precum that has built up, before going down on it. I suck and jerk his cock for a few minutes before he takes my hand and stands me up. Thank God, as my legs were beginning to cramp. "Come with me" he says, he's very soft spoken. I start to wonder if he's even a top. All the while this is happening I've been groped and fingered by random hands in the darkness. This seems to be the norm at orgies people feel their way around, as if they're not quite confident enough to just grab me, but not too shy as to just watch. Plenty of molestation then they walk away. It's a nice kind of attention I never received before. I was led to the sling room. In the sling room was a man sitting on one of the stools, and another older guy in the sling stroking his cock with his feet up looking relaxed. "Oh it's taken" says my new friend, and with that he walks out of the room. I stay, standing there watching the stroker. "Hey baby" speaks a deep Texan voice. I turn to look, it's the guy on the stool, he is absolutely huge. He must be at least 6'7" a large build, not toned but big, one might say muscled, but not in a body builder way. Just a man mountain. This turned me on deeply. I walked over to him and he stood up, dwarfing me in his shadow. "Please be a top" I thought, his cock was big, in proportion with his body. We immediately make-out, I try to wrap my arms around him, rubbing his cold ass cheeks and trying to warm them. His dick is pressed against my sternum, which gives you an indication of how big he was. He holds me like a child as his tongue invades my mouth. "So what do you want to do?" he calmly asks, he is totally in control. "Whatever. I'm a bottom so..." "Well I'm versatile, so that works out well." He walks over to the sling and asks the guy if he minds that we use it. He obliges. I stand with my back to the sling and make-out some more. He lays me back on the sling. The warm sweaty leather makes me drip with precum. He straps up and wipes some lube on my well fingered hole. Slowly he pushes himself into me, maybe it was the angle but this was not comfortable. I felt like I had to pee really bad, perhaps it was his size, this was the biggest cock I've taken so far. It's pushing against my bladder, and if it was kosher and an ideal fantasy, id simply piss all over myself. But I'm a polite sub so I hold it in and take the slow deep thrusts he offers up. I'm counting the thrusts, wondering when this is going to feel enjoyable. He's so fat I can feel and hear the rubber of the condom squeaking. Is it going to pop? He's enjoying himself so I'm prepared to let this happen, he is sweating a lot, I really want to wipe his head and chest and lick that sweat, but he's standing upright so I can't reach. Then he leans forward and embraces me, his arms sliding between my back and the leather sling, I get drenched in his sweat as we kiss. This position turns me on so much I could probably cum hands free. "Do you swallow boy?" "Yes Sir" "Ok, open up" I open my gob and expect him to walk over and finish off in my mouth. But to my surprise he's already cum. He slides his condom off. It's been filled. He places the open end in my mouth and squeezes the top and slides the cum into my mouth. It's thick and plentiful, and he rubs my stomach as I swallow it back. He's happy that his seed is inside me one way or another. At this point 3 or 4 guys were standing watching in the sling room, it's a very small room so this seems full. As this giant who's load I just swallowed leaves the room, another man, sort of a scruffy cub type (young, mid 30's stubbled, hairy body and a nice belly(solid)) positions himself at the base of the sling. Instead of pushing his cock into me, he grabs the chains and pulls me towards his cock. He slides in nicely, much more comfortable than the tall Texan. He makes sure he's deep before he pounds it. This feels amazing! I start to get chills through my body, I notice a guy stroking his cock in my periphery. I turn and begin to suck it, it has a strong musky smell, hot. I feel lips on my calf muscle, then teeth, some guy is making out with my leg. Two other hand rub my chest, stomach and nipples. This is fucking hot. Almost every part of my body is in some way being used to get these guys off, I've never felt so wanted and useful. The scruffy cub leans in closer with his mouth open, I remove the cock for a second to kiss him. As he gives me a sloppy kiss I feel his back, it's covered in hair and sweat. I'm happy to discover my newly found love of other guy's sweating on me, it's really primal. The cock is shoved back into my mouth. The cub begins to pound hard and fast. Who is this guy chewing on my leg, kissing and licking it up and down. I can't see due to the cock in my face. One thing I notice is that this cub doesn't seem to want to cum, any time he gets close, he'll pull out and kiss me or suck on my nipples. This guy, who'd normally be too young for me, is quickly becoming my favourite fuck yet. The animalistic noises he makes as he rails my ass, the beard and body hair, the not-too-big not-to-small size of his cock. I want to make him cum though. So the next time he gets into a flurry, before he can pull out to relax. I spit the cock out of my mouth, unhook my heel from the jaw it was clamped in, wrap my arms around the back of his neck to pull him in for a deep kiss, and hook my legs around his waist and pull him in. My freshly chewed calves push against his his hot sweaty ass, and I feel it clench. He hammers me deep, he snorts, he growls, he bites on my lips, drooling into my open mouth. Biting my neck like a vampire his arms buckle, and he collapses on top of me. He's cum! That felt unbelievable, went straight into my top 3 fucks of all time. He kisses me and leaves the room. I need to be upright for a moment so I get off the sling and wipe it down. I resist the urge to lick it clean. I wipe myself off and head upstairs to see what else is going on...

After being fucked stiff by two guys in my first ever sling experience, I decided to stretch my leg and go back upstairs. I had been at the orgy for an hour at this point and it had filled up quite a bit. Lots of fleshy bodies brushing against each other, hands cupping me, grabbing an ass cheek, pinching a nipple. Sitting on the bed in the tall Texan who introduced me to the sling and his monster cock. He smiles at me and says "Hi". Behind him are two guys fucking, if you had asked me a year, heck three months before, I never thought I'd see this scene in real life. Let alone be a part of it. I walk over to him, and he sits me on his lap. This man, this huge man, makes me feel so small, so calm, like a little boy. I just want him to pick me up and cradle me. "So where are you from?" He asks, like we are at a bar and he wants a quick fuck. Only he has already fucked me. He was genuinely interested. He had just previously cum and fed me out of a condom, so maybe he was waiting to build up another load and was simply making small talk. Either way, I had this man's attention, I was sitting on his lap, and it felt great. We talked about each other, what we did, why we were here, all while he methodically rubbed my arms, rubbed my legs, cracked my fingers and toes, before standing me up and bear hugging me. Pop goes my back, it feels amazing. Is this guy a chiropractor? "Ok cutie, I'm gonna take a leak" he says as he walks off to the bathroom. If I was half the slut on the outside that I am on the inside I would've offered my mouth as a urinal. But I prefer the top to instigate the activities. So I sat and watched as two younger dudes fuck on the bed. I lay back next to them to relax, it's big enough so I don't have to join in. "You wanna get fucked!" barks out a demanding voice. I sit up to see an older(late 50's guessing) Italian American top, with white hair, thin, tanned, and serious looking. This is Tony, and he becomes my orgy tour guide for the night, and two other times I go there. "Yeah sure" I reply, turn over to doggy position, and wait to be penetrated. An ample amount of lube is applied to my already opened hole. "Oh fuck that feels so good, puppy" Puppy? That's new, his dick is nowhere near the size of Texas' but that's fine because it allows his to slam rougher. And rough is how he likes it. Tony starts slamming my hole with reckless abandon he comments on the noise it makes, the slapping, he's very verbal. "Who owns your fuckin hole?" "You do" I say, half embarrassed, I was never good at dirty talk. "Yeah puppy, take that fuckin cock" I noticed in the times since I was first fucked by Tony, that he looks around to see if anyone is watching. He is a pure exhibitionist, loves to put on a show, if nobody is looking, he'll smack my ass hard to draw people's attention to our fucking. "I love fucking your sloppy hole puppy" With the lube combined the speed and size of his thrusts he pops out of my ass a few times, smacks both cheeks at once, grabs his cock and roughly jams it back in. Surprisingly non of this hurts, it feels great, I'm being fucked like a sex toy. "Squeeze daddy's cock with your hole boy" This is something I can do well, I've been in situations where I've jerked a guy off into me with just my ass, pushing and clenching until he came. Feels great for me, and them too apparently. Tony loves it. He brings me back downstairs after we soak the bed sheets in our sweat. We head to the benched area where he sits down with me kneeling in front of him. He rests both his feet on my shoulders, and peels off his condom. He lets out a deep exhale as he milks his dick. "Come here" I lean in closer to his cock. He opens a bottle of poppers, he must have taken from upstairs. Blocking one of my nostrils and holding the bottle under the other he tells me to breath in. And again. And again. I feel the "tha-thump tha-thump tha-thump" of my heart racing. He puts his cock head against my lips "Open" I open and suck on his head. "Swallow it down, slowly." I comply and take it down to the balls slowly "Hold it there." I hold it down, for nearly a minute, I can barely hold my breath any longer. I spit his cock out and gasp for air. "Good puppy!" He rubs me under the ears like a dog, as a stray foot rubs up and down my back. I turn around to see another man(dad type) sitting in a folding chair with his cock in his hand and a smile on his face. I crawl over on my hands and knees until my face meets his rather hairy crotch. I open my mouth with my tongue out, like the puppy I've been called, and he bends his cock down to touch the tip of my tongue. I close around his head. Before I begin to swallow, Tony stands over me, almost straddling me like a horse. He pinches my nostril and gives me another hit of poppers. I take a huge hit, I feel very dirty. All those videos I'd masturbate to, I was now the subject of all that porn, everything was heightened, the smells the feel the taste of a strangers precum. I became very aware of how sleazy my situation had become. I throat this guys cock, Tony grabs my hair to pull me off the dick, then pushes me back down, over and over. Tony uses my skull to please this Daddy. He's very forward, arrogant even, but it somehow works. He pulls me off of the daddy dick and jams his piece down my throat, then back to the daddy's then back to him. By this time my throat was well lubricated and stretched and was taking these rather rough throat pokes with easy, I could even stick my tongue out to taste the balls. I hear Tony say "You want to fuck this hole? Stand up Puppy" I stand up and bend over, my mouth still wrapped around the Daddy's dick. Tony had whored me out to a random dick. I didn't turn around to see who it belonged to, but it was big and it hurt. Felt like I had to pee again, but I was a very good boy and I took it until my legs went numb. I noticed a small crowd had gathered to watch, for a moment I became the centre piece. A young slim Asian guy crawls between my legs and attempts to suck my dripping dick. This begins to ruin the fucker's rhythm and distracts me, so I gently push him away. I feel more hands groping than a few. Eventually the dick slides out of my gaping sloppy hole, I turn to see who it is but they are already too far gone. Whoever it was had a nice muscular ass. The night sort of fizzled out, and I decided it was time to leave. As I was getting dressed the orgy guy hands me Tony's number per Tony's request. I take it and hit the streets. When the cool night air hit me I start to feel the burn, as much fun as I was having I forgot how much I was put through the ringer. I felt exhausted. I text Tony to thank him for a great fuck. He replies "You're so fucking cute, would love to meet you again. Let me buy you a drink and I'll pay your entry fee next week" I'm impressed that he knew I was going to attend again. It's something I could definitely get used to. What I didn't know is that my second "safe sex" orgy would end up with cum up my ass...