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I started watching interracial porn online and then wound up moving to interracial specific sites. I chewed through everything they made in probably under a month. They were the first porn sight I subscribed to and, so far, the last. They weren't making videos as fast as I was consuming them so I looked elsewhere. Then I learned about the entire Queen of Spades scene; women who only slept with black men. It was hot. Really hot. Eventually it was all I could get off to. After a while, I started to admire those women. Not 'admire' in the way you admire someone's beauty but in the way you wish to be them, or at least in their position. I dreamed up with elaborate ways to seduce a black man and have him dominate me. But that's all they were, fantasies. At least at first. I had started browsing an interracial sex blog. They mostly posted porn but sometimes they would post general lifestyle stuff. I was scrolling through the blog with my cock in my left hand and the mouse in my right when I saw a post about temporary tattoos. Jack of Spades often have tattoos that subtly hint they want to have sex with a black man, I hovered over it for a minute and thought about my fantasies. "What the Hell." I thought, "Worse case scenario i throw them out." I hit the link and the page blinked to an online store. There were the usual Queen of Spades tattoos at the top and some more extreme stuff at the bottom. I chose a black, curly spade with a white 'J' in the center. For Jack. I was about to head to the checkout when I started thinking about the stuff further down. I could feel my ass get hotter as I thought about them. Maybe... just a peek... I was largely disappointed by what I saw, most of it seemed over the top and grotesque. Then I saw one and my heart leapt. This one, this was one. I slammed on the 'add to cart' button and went to checkout. But after I bought them I came harder than I had ever cum in my entire life. A few business days later they arrived and I totally forgot about them. It was one of those things that's really hot when you're horny but you're immediately ashamed of when you cum. I considered throwing them away but I couldn't, it would be denying a part of myself. "Maybe I'll go out to a gay bar and wear them at a bar or something?" As soon as I thought it my stomach tightened. What if I run into somebody I know? What if the guy I meet knows someone I do? What if he knows family? No. No way I'm risking that. I couldn't keep them, But I couldn't throw them away. Then I had a stroke of genius, I'd keep them in my fag bag, that way if I'm ever out of town or got a Hotel room alone I've got them right there. I pulled my black fag bag out of my closet and slid them carefully into the small front pouch, ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A few months later I got a hotel room, So I went and got a cheap motel room. My room was completely red with white sheets. It had a heart shaped jacuzzi in the room. I pulled out the Chastity Cock Cage and put it on, I changed into a jock strap and some sweats and a tee shirt and watched TV. When I got a hankering for a coke. I counted out a couple bucks in quarters and headed for the ice machine. Standing in front of the ice machine was a man straight out of my dreams. His skin was the color of Mahogany and he looked as sturdy, dense muscles stretching beneath hairless skin. He was huge, easily 6'2" with broad shoulders and huge pecs all barely hidden under a grey hoodie and blue jeans. "Hey," he said, "You have a quarter I can borrow?" I realized I was staring and stammered out some kind of affirmative before handing him a quarter. "Thanks." He had a tattoo on his body. I smiled and walked back to my room, conscious of every step. My heart pounded in my chest and I swallowed hard. I'd always had a reaction around tall black men but nothing like that before! Then I remembered the tattoos. I opened my door a crack and peeked out. He just entered his room; 25, right next to the ice. This was it. This was the perfect moment. I yanked the tattoos from my bag and ran to the bathroom. I put the smaller one, the Jack of Spades, right on my arm, I put the second, larger one on my right butt cheek. It needed all the room i could give it. After a few dozen times checking them in the mirror I took a deep breath and knocked on his door. "Just a sec." He opened the door and rose an eyebrow at me. "Hi." I said, I could feel my ass getting hotter. "Hi." He responded a little sarcastically. I swallowed hard and put all my effort into not shaking. "The phone in my hotel room doesn't work and I was going to call the front desk and find out how to get on the web, Mind if I barrow yours?" He looked me up and down and shrugged, "Sure, come on in." I murmured a thank you and and walked directly to the phone and started dialing. His room was a carbon copy of mine, down to the red walls but no. Whoever cleans this motel deserved an award. I put my hand to the receiver and turned to him, "They put me on hold." "Makes sense," he said, "It's Saturday night. Probably a lot of people getting rooms ." I cradled the phone in the crook of my neck, pointing my tattoo on my arm at him, and acted like I was making idle conversation. "So what's the tattoo for?" He smiled a little, revealing perfectly straight teeth, "It's nothing much, I've just been pretty lucky in life that's all." I nodded approvingly. "What's yours?" "What this?" I pointed to it, "Nothing it's too weird." "No come on, tell me." "No I can't. It's too weird. You'll laugh at me." "No I'm serious!" I smiled mischievously, "Google it." He rolled his eyes and pulled out his iPhone. Just then the front desk answered, I said I'm in room 41 and wanted to get the code for the web, being extra sure to say the room number a few times to front desk, "Any luck googling that?" I said as I opened the door. "Yea just one-" He trailed off and his eyes narrowed. He read over it a few times and looked at me in disbelief. I smiled my best," A few minutes after I returned to my room there was a soft knock at the door. My heart hammered in my chest as I opened it. I held the door open as he entered and said, I think I figure out the tattoo" He took off his hoodie, stretching out his chest and back as he did, "You know I think I did." As he rubbed his dick, I moved down to my knees and pulled down the waistband of his sweats. He looked surprised but he smiled. I reached in to his boxers and my heart skipped a beat. He was way bigger than I thought. I pulled it out and it was almost one and a half times as long as my dick hard. And thick. So thick I could barely wrap my hand around it. I ran my tongue all the way from the base of his shaft to his head, reveling in the taste of his cock. "Good." I said and slid his cock past my lips and all the way into my throat. I held it there for a moment, pressing it to my throat before I pulled it out again. I gasped when I pulled it out, but he gently gripped me by my hair and put my mouth back around his cock. Slowly he startled fucking my throat until his balls were hitting my chin. I gagged but let him fuck me. I wanted to please him. Finally he pulled out and rested his gigantic saliva-covered cock on my face. "You like that don't you ?" He asked again. ? I was still gasping around his meat, so I just nodded and caught my breath. He grinned and forced his cock back into my mouth, fucking my throat all over again. He pounded and pounded until his cock started to twitch and his balls sucked into him. I closed my eyes and waited for the salty taste of black cum. But he yanked himself out of my throat and grabbed my scalp with his left hand. I closed my eyes just in time to feel loads of warm cum splash onto my eyes, nose, lips and open mouth. He squirted over and over until my entire face was caked with his Black Seed. I felt him shake off his last few drops onto my outstretched tongue. My cock was so hard and pressing against the cock cage, as I swallowed the load in my mouth and then set about sweeping the cum off my face and into my mouth, gratefully swallowing every drop. When I opened my eyes he was still hard and I instinctively stretched my tongue toward his cock. "Nope." He said, lifting me to my feet. "That was just a warmup." I took off my shirt and climbed onto the bed. I immediately felt his hands on my waste band and he yanked down my sweats in a frenzy. He smiled when he saw my cock cage, And said you are going to be my slave, Once my pale ass was exposed he stopped, and chuckled at the black ink on my right cheek. The second tattoo read, "Black Cock Only" I felt his massive head force its way into me. It hurt, a lot. I couldn't handle it. I begged, pleaded him to stop but he just pressed harder and deeper. When I started to squirm away he held me down. I didn't just feel the pain in my ass, it jolted over my legs and through my very spine as though I was being split in half. I grunted in pain and his massive black hand covered my mouth and he took my ass by force. My tears mingled with the cum glaze he left and flowed over his thick fingers as he made my ass his. Not tears of terror, tears of pain and pleasure. He released his grip on me when he realized I was backing my ass into his cock. He said, This ass is mine now, Eventually the pleasure weighed out the pain and I couldn't keep myself from moaning. Long, deep animal noises in a voice that was not my own. His cock slammed into my bowels in long, deep strokes until I could feel his massive balls slapping mine, dwarfing them. Suddenly he grabbed my hips and pulled my ass toward him. I could feel his Big Black Cock pulsating inside me, sending waves of pleasure ripping through me. He was cumming in my ass. Marking it as his own. I could feel his load filling me, and I came with him. He withdrew his massive BBC and his sperm leaked out of my ass and over my balls and already-limp cock. He smiled and rested his cum-covered meat in between my ass-cheeks, knowing I wouldn't -or couldn't- resist. "This," He squeezed my ass like it was a new toy. "This is mine now." I own this now" Unable to speak, gasping into the pillow, I merely looked back at him and nodded. I rented the room all weekend, I stayed in all weekend, And he owned my ass for the weekend That started a reg thing for me renting a room, And taking care of Black Men ! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well, I did it. I went the full 8 days without PrEP and was as a big of a slut as my body could handle. It's not like I freaked out in the middle and stopped having sex or anything. All in all I got 33 loads (which was just 1/3rd of my initial goal and 1/2 what I really hoped for). In the process I learned a bit about my body and how I feel about getting pozzed… Just a quick note to say that PrEP is >90% effective 7 days after you stop (if you've been taking it every day, which I was), but apparently after the 7 days the efficacy starts dropping pretty quickly. So most of my risk was the last day or two. I toyed with stopping a day or so before I went, but wasn't sure how I'd feel when things were actually in progress, so I didn't take the risk. Just looking at the last couple days when there was risk. I took 3 loads in Fort Lauderdale (one of which said he was undetectable) on the final day, and three in Key West the day before. So if anything happened it was probably one of those 5 loads. First thing I learned was that I don't want some random guy I really am not into being my poz daddy. Or maybe a better way of putting it is that I want to look back at when I got pozzed and think "that was really hot!". And most of the sex in Key West wasn't really hot. Not saying it was all bad sex, just that there was more "forgettable" sex than one might hope. (Though I did have sex with a porn star you probably all know – which is saying something since he was mostly just fucking his "boy" – a guy who's just started in porn). Going forward I think my strategy with PrEP will be to take it after having 1-on-1 sex. If I'm really into the guy I just won't take it. That way the only guys who have a chance of pozzing me are guys who I'd want as a poz daddy. (For sex parties, I'll take it the day before as well as when I get home from the party). Second thing I learned was that you can be too sexually assertive. I'm a New Yorker who knows the difference between assertive (good) and aggressive (bad). It's not like I was a pushy asshole bottom who was being rude. But the two huge sexual failures this week happened when I was being really sexually assertive. The first time I was wearing a t-shirt that made it crystal clear that I was was a cumdump. The back had a big pig with #CumInMyAss below it and a downwards pointing arrow below that. I got a lot of dick wearing that t-shirt – 8 guys fucked me, but no one came in my ass. I'm in it for the load, not the fuck, so huge failure. Then Sunday night I had a #neg4poz gangbang in Fort Lauderdale. 44 guys signed up, plus I gave 2 guys details privately, yet only one showed up and fucked me / gave me a load. (One other showed up, but was super nervous, couldn't get hard, and left after a couple minutes of a blowjob). I've been watching the sex parties in Fort Lauderdale and 44 guys is really good – almost as good as their CumUnion parties get. But only one guy showing up is horrible. In hindsight I think they probably all thought I'd flake – I was presenting myself as a bug chaser and bug chasers have a habit of not going through with it. But so do toxic tops. I even tried to give guys cover and told guys to just pretend they were toxic even if they weren't. That way the assumption could be that the guy was just lying about being toxic. It should have been a really hot scene, but 1 top showing up out of 44/46 is a complete failure. Third thing I learned was that my ass can't take deep cleanings every day. As much as I'd love to be a 24/7/365 cumdump I just don't have it in me. My intestinal track is a mess after doing deep cleanings every day for 8 days. Maybe if I could just do shallow cleanings it could work, but then big dicks are a problem 'cause they'll get up deeper than I cleaned out. But one way or another I probably need to lay off bottoming for a week to let things get back to normal. Fourth thing I learned was that Key West isn't as gay as I thought. It was my first time in Key West and I'd always heard the gay scene there was pretty good, but it's just not. There are basically two bars – Saloon 1 and Bourbon Street Pub (and some drag places) and they both had issues getting a critical mass of people on what's billed as the biggest week of the year. Mind you, Hurricane Irma dropped the crowds by 30-50%. But that means most of the time they're pretty empty. And their busy hours are really limited as well. That said, Island House was really special. If you've never been think combo gay guest house, naked bar, and bathhouse. I got 11 of my 33 loads at Island House, and the crowd is hotter than elsewhere as well – to the point that it was the only place I was inspired to top (gave 2 loads). [By comparison I got 9 loads at Saloon 1, and 3 at Bourbon Street Pub.] One thing I did really like about Key West is how you can be naked in all the bars, and even have sex at the bars – there are no hangups there. I wish the same were true in NYC. Yeah, the Cock is like that, but only late at night. In Key West it's 24/7. All in all I'm glad I did it and went without PrEP. It helped clarify a few things for me…

I always put on a blindfold the second I'm inside his apartment. And then I get naked. And then I get fucked, standing there in his hallway. Today he was kind; he rimmed me nice and wet before he rammed his 8" cock deep inside me. (Other times he has just spat on my hole, rubbed his cock in it and then pushed inside me...) He dragged me into the bedroom, and then the fucking continued with me on my knees on his bed. He rammed my hole from every possible angle, slowly opening me up. I knew what was coming, of course; the last time he fucked me I ended up gaping so much that he could shoot his load into my hole from outside - and he had said he wanted to do that again. I knew that would take more than just his cock... The last time he double-fucked me with his cock and the smaller of his to dildos - a double-dong - and tried the same with the thicker of his dildos but I couldn't take it... Well... THIS time I did! Damn... I was stretched! And then he returned to the slimmer double-dong, but he bent it at the middle so I had to take both cock heads of the toy - and then he forced his cock up next to them! FUCK! Fuck-fuck-fuck-fuck-FUCK!!! Soooo stretched... And he fucked me hard! This is what my hole looked like after the triple-fuck... I think that qualifies as "gaping"! That was when he started loading me up; two condoms with stored loads were emptied in my hole and then he slid his fat, hard cock inside my hole. Damn... There was PLENTY of space for him! He fucked the two loads deep in me, and then he made me gape for him again... I could hear him jerking his cock and knew what was coming - or cumming! And then I felt the first jets of cum land in my open hole... My body instinctively spasmed as if I had had a cock rammed hard inside me - I was so turned on by feeling his cum run into my gaping hole... It was SO BLOODY HOT!!! If you want to see what it looked like, here's a little video. Remember to turn on the sound if you want to hear whether I enjoyed the load or not...

I was messaged by a member of this site who is also on BBRT(where he got in touch) "Have you heard of The Orgy Guy?" To which my answer was no. "Get invited to an orgy, you wont regret it stud ;-)" This piqued my interest so I googled this orgy guy. In coming across his blogspot page I was met with the same nervous excitement that comes over me when I discover a new fetish, or meet a new guy that I know will push my limits or pull me out of my comfort zone. Like the kind of Top who messages you in the same "you are a slave and I will hurt you" tone of voice in which his profile is written. Who doesn't ever speak to you like a human so you are not sure if they are fully sane. That nauseous but horny feeling was creeping up on me when I was reading the conditions on rsvping to one of his events and thinking "am I actually gonna do this?". After some thought, the answer was finally "fuck it, let's do this". However, I realised I couldn't actually find a contact address or info on his blogspot page, the only other site he was on was a google plus account, so I thought that would have to do, since I could find no email address anywhere. No response. For days no response. Maybe he didn't do orgies any more. Maybe he(like many including me) never checks his Google + account. I had to get a better contact. So back to the barebacker, I asked if he knew, after all it was this guy who suggested him. He was slow to respond but eventually I got an email address. Before I go on, anyone in the New York City area or those planning to visit, I highly recommend you try one of these Orgies, the guy who runs it is one of the nicest guys you can meet and it was a great experience. I emailed The Orgy Guy with his requirements, my stats, some info about myself and a full body pic(nude). The only real requirement is that you are in some way height weight proportionate, he's in no way a body fascist, but anorexic or morbidly obese was a no-go. He even had stats on his site about the average age range and top to bottom ratio. Now the Orgy Guy ran two different nights. Peak and Eruption. Peak is a night for guys who use condoms, and Eruption is for guys who go bare. For the purpose of this site and fantasy, I want to say I attended the Eruption party and was filled with 50 cumshots from anon guys. BUT, since this a completely honest account of my time, I must tell the truth. The truth is, I had no intention of catching hiv or anything else, and although I had a few Bareback encounters I was doing my best to be smart about the guys who I slept with, guys who seemed to not only claim they were neg, but who were recently tested or got regularly tested. My attempts so far were working, according to my rapid hiv tests that I was frequently taking at local free clinics. If I was to enter the Eruption party, all bets were off. What am I going to do? Ask every swinging dick "do you know your hiv status?" before they fuck me silly? Not only is that putting guys in an awkward position(which I wouldn't want to do), it just doesn't fit in with my submissive nature. So if I rsvp'd to Peak so I wouldn't have that problem and I'd enjoy the fuck just as much. The Orgy Guy responded and gave me a list of the next event. Which was only two days away. I couldn't wait. The Party went from 7 till 1, in a nice apartment in Manhattan, I decided to show up at 8, as by then there would hopefully be a few people there already. I stand across the street, watching the door to see if anybody enters. An man in his late 50's enters the apartment which confirmed for me that it was the right place. I head to the door. The Orgy Guy greets me and I enter the apartment. As you walk in there is a toilet to the right, to the left a screen. Behind the screen is a bed and some chairs, with porn playing on the TV. I got stripped down to my boxer briefs and put my clothes into a bag and gave them to Guy. Then paid the 10 bucks donation and decided to tour the apartment. Upstairs was the toilet, bed and seating area, downstairs(the basement) led me to two rooms. One room, a small room with two stools and a sling, made my cock twitch immediately. I had never been in a sling before, this I must try! The next room was a larger benched(or ledge) area with a bunk bed type structure that acted as a tent(as there was no bottom bunk, it simply acted as a den) and a shag rug on the ground. All dimly lit with candles and smelling of incense and poppers. This is where everybody was at first. 6 guys all in a circle, nobody noticed me enter the room. They all seemed to be watching something. I walk over to watch. An older guy (daddy type with beard) on his knees sucking the dick of an athletic black man(mid 30s). As I watched, I could feel hands groping my arse and bulge. I look to the guy who's groping me. A guy in his 30's attractive, very good body, which is normally someone I wouldn't go for(too young and too toned) but I was determined not to turn down any cock that came my way. He immediately goes in for a kiss, we make out and he gropes my ass cheeks. Pealing down my underwear and grabbing my cock to jerk it stiff, I wonder if the attention has shifted from the blowjob. As I come out of the kiss for air I notice it has, a few people are watching. One joins in, two fingers pressing against my hole. The guy I'm making out with pushes my head down to his very nice uncut cock. I think this was the first uncut dick I've seen since I arrived in the states. Other than mine of course. Instead of pulling back the foreskin I slide my tongue underneath it and taste the precum that has built up, before going down on it. I suck and jerk his cock for a few minutes before he takes my hand and stands me up. Thank God, as my legs were beginning to cramp. "Come with me" he says, he's very soft spoken. I start to wonder if he's even a top. All the while this is happening I've been groped and fingered by random hands in the darkness. This seems to be the norm at orgies people feel their way around, as if they're not quite confident enough to just grab me, but not too shy as to just watch. Plenty of molestation then they walk away. It's a nice kind of attention I never received before. I was led to the sling room. In the sling room was a man sitting on one of the stools, and another older guy in the sling stroking his cock with his feet up looking relaxed. "Oh it's taken" says my new friend, and with that he walks out of the room. I stay, standing there watching the stroker. "Hey baby" speaks a deep Texan voice. I turn to look, it's the guy on the stool, he is absolutely huge. He must be at least 6'7" a large build, not toned but big, one might say muscled, but not in a body builder way. Just a man mountain. This turned me on deeply. I walked over to him and he stood up, dwarfing me in his shadow. "Please be a top" I thought, his cock was big, in proportion with his body. We immediately make-out, I try to wrap my arms around him, rubbing his cold ass cheeks and trying to warm them. His dick is pressed against my sternum, which gives you an indication of how big he was. He holds me like a child as his tongue invades my mouth. "So what do you want to do?" he calmly asks, he is totally in control. "Whatever. I'm a bottom so..." "Well I'm versatile, so that works out well." He walks over to the sling and asks the guy if he minds that we use it. He obliges. I stand with my back to the sling and make-out some more. He lays me back on the sling. The warm sweaty leather makes me drip with precum. He straps up and wipes some lube on my well fingered hole. Slowly he pushes himself into me, maybe it was the angle but this was not comfortable. I felt like I had to pee really bad, perhaps it was his size, this was the biggest cock I've taken so far. It's pushing against my bladder, and if it was kosher and an ideal fantasy, id simply piss all over myself. But I'm a polite sub so I hold it in and take the slow deep thrusts he offers up. I'm counting the thrusts, wondering when this is going to feel enjoyable. He's so fat I can feel and hear the rubber of the condom squeaking. Is it going to pop? He's enjoying himself so I'm prepared to let this happen, he is sweating a lot, I really want to wipe his head and chest and lick that sweat, but he's standing upright so I can't reach. Then he leans forward and embraces me, his arms sliding between my back and the leather sling, I get drenched in his sweat as we kiss. This position turns me on so much I could probably cum hands free. "Do you swallow boy?" "Yes Sir" "Ok, open up" I open my gob and expect him to walk over and finish off in my mouth. But to my surprise he's already cum. He slides his condom off. It's been filled. He places the open end in my mouth and squeezes the top and slides the cum into my mouth. It's thick and plentiful, and he rubs my stomach as I swallow it back. He's happy that his seed is inside me one way or another. At this point 3 or 4 guys were standing watching in the sling room, it's a very small room so this seems full. As this giant who's load I just swallowed leaves the room, another man, sort of a scruffy cub type (young, mid 30's stubbled, hairy body and a nice belly(solid)) positions himself at the base of the sling. Instead of pushing his cock into me, he grabs the chains and pulls me towards his cock. He slides in nicely, much more comfortable than the tall Texan. He makes sure he's deep before he pounds it. This feels amazing! I start to get chills through my body, I notice a guy stroking his cock in my periphery. I turn and begin to suck it, it has a strong musky smell, hot. I feel lips on my calf muscle, then teeth, some guy is making out with my leg. Two other hand rub my chest, stomach and nipples. This is fucking hot. Almost every part of my body is in some way being used to get these guys off, I've never felt so wanted and useful. The scruffy cub leans in closer with his mouth open, I remove the cock for a second to kiss him. As he gives me a sloppy kiss I feel his back, it's covered in hair and sweat. I'm happy to discover my newly found love of other guy's sweating on me, it's really primal. The cock is shoved back into my mouth. The cub begins to pound hard and fast. Who is this guy chewing on my leg, kissing and licking it up and down. I can't see due to the cock in my face. One thing I notice is that this cub doesn't seem to want to cum, any time he gets close, he'll pull out and kiss me or suck on my nipples. This guy, who'd normally be too young for me, is quickly becoming my favourite fuck yet. The animalistic noises he makes as he rails my ass, the beard and body hair, the not-too-big not-to-small size of his cock. I want to make him cum though. So the next time he gets into a flurry, before he can pull out to relax. I spit the cock out of my mouth, unhook my heel from the jaw it was clamped in, wrap my arms around the back of his neck to pull him in for a deep kiss, and hook my legs around his waist and pull him in. My freshly chewed calves push against his his hot sweaty ass, and I feel it clench. He hammers me deep, he snorts, he growls, he bites on my lips, drooling into my open mouth. Biting my neck like a vampire his arms buckle, and he collapses on top of me. He's cum! That felt unbelievable, went straight into my top 3 fucks of all time. He kisses me and leaves the room. I need to be upright for a moment so I get off the sling and wipe it down. I resist the urge to lick it clean. I wipe myself off and head upstairs to see what else is going on...