most people could never understand why some of us see full-blown aids as a great honor, and it is not my wish to enlighten them... for me it isn't fetish, or fantasy, or just a death wish - it is much, much more... aids is everything to me....
i am blessed with an intense natural masochstic passion, i consider it a true gift... i was always programmed to value respect and manhod, when i was neither... i used to describe myself as a proud and happy masculine cunt - which was much too respectable for me... i may look masculine, but i want and have no manhood... if i can't have a cunt, at least i can be a cunt...
i crave public scorn and derision, and if anybody can't understand me, i really don't care...