UKSlamPIG
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Posts
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PS - Beware the muscled masters that set up several new profiles daily (usually at times when the admin/owner are asleep which would be nighttime in San Diego). These are all fake, they attempt to move contact to skype where they set a task to prove loyalty which is the set-up of a paid profile on another site from where they get your card details and empty your account or max out your card. As soon as admin or the site owner spot them they delete the profile. They also operate on Recon & Barebackcity.
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If it's vids or stories you are mainly interested in NKP has a parallel site chempigs.com - NKP usernames & passwords work for chempigs & vice-versa. All the main stuff ie profile stats etc are carried over both sites but vids, ads, stories, blogs etc are only visible on the site to which they were uploaded so if a user was logged in via NKP when they uploaded a vid it will only be visible to users logged in via NKP. I believe the separation was made to keep NKP more kink related & Chempigs chem related but it doesn't seem to work like that in practice so it would be worth your while opening 2 windows 1 for each site & checking both for what you are looking for.
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1) I have no axe to grind with NKP or it's owner whom I have found to be on the whole a very responsible guy who went to great lengths to assist when a very naive American guy cam to London believing we had what he called "slam bars" here and disappeared without trace after spending his 1st night trying to source drugs. 2) You TOTALLY misuderstood what I wrote - I never implied there were underage guys on there. What I said was there was an infestation of guys INTO underage. If you are so disbelieving do a search on yng vyng vvyng and see how many profiles come up. The pedo's use the word perv as code - choose to disbelieve if you like but when I just viewed the pigboard there were several ads that were from those who like "fresh" meat. 3) My level of kink is not relevant and if I were the pro you imply NKP would be the place to express it. I have had several approaches from the forementioned types and it wears you down IF YOU HAVE A CONSCIENCE FOR THE VICTIMS.
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To be honest I think that a fair proportion of those that attach themselves to it are just desperado's trying to get themselves noticed for something & NKP is by no means the only or the worst site for it. Of course on any site where there are the options for a paying membership those who reap the rewards of the subscriptions won't always be quite as tough as they should be when dealing with offenders but I find it more disturbing that more guys don't speak out against it and drive the pathetic creatures back under the rock from which they came. Some things cannot be justified under the extreme fetish banner & easily have the potential to destroy the equality that some fought hard for or even died to achieve.
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Were you maybe thinking of Nastykinkpigs.com? I'm just deleting profile from there as it's been infested with "guys" no specimens for whom at 28 you'd be about 20-24 years too old for or for many others with your 2 legs you have only half the number they are looking for in a sexual partner. The former crowd use the word "perv" instead of pedo because the site blocks the use of it. You can view profiles, stories, blogs etc on a free membership but if you want to view the 5000 vids of guys slamming & the 2 other vids of guys who have already slammed desperately trying to beat life into their cocks it costs about £5 a month. (Yes I see the irony with my profile name which I didn't set up and was at a push only appropriate for at most 5 weeks over 2 years ago)
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You will never know what went through his mind or exactly why he did or said anything so stop muddying your mind any further with the wondering and assumptions. I think you need to think only about yourself now, it seems as though your generosity began in the best of faith but the moment it clicked over to expecting sex in return the generosity has turned toxic for you more than for him. You are doing yourself a massive disservice if you effectively buy sex from someone who resents it like that - most escorts are very happy to oblige and as you have said you can get plenty of ass without needing to pay anyway. Like I have said a few times he was a habit, an addiction, the devil you knew that you assumed was better than the many you as yet do not. At least you realise that you deserve better - you are free now to explore and find that better but do so openminded and try not to let the past scar your future. Trust your instincts and what you see when you look into someone's eyes... eyes don't lie, someone who avoids eye contact has something to hide.
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Has this type of "tantrum" happened before? Whilst it is good that you have a fairly substantial body of water separating you this is far from the closure that you need in order to have this burden lifted from you emotionally once & for all. Besides possibly an acknowledgement that he has got home safely you absolutely shouldn't engage in any further dialogue on any medium until you have let the vast amounts of dust settle in your mind and are able to see this whole thing for what it is. Take personal responsibility for anything that you should have done differently which have contributed to your suffering, learn from them & forgive yourself for them. Don't rake over his actions, feelings or behaviours you can or could do nothing about any of that so it is totally futile wasting time and emotional energy on it. Among the ruins is a VERY positive fact... The fact that you have & forgive my French fucked yourself up so royaly over this is proof beyond any doubt that you still have the depth to love for real and enjoy a high and a sense of security which is sadly well beyond the capabilities of so many. Sure, without that you wouldn't be hurting right now and possibly you'll hurt like this again but it will be well worth it when you find yourself with an ear to ear grin when you wake up one morning next to a great snoring cumdump who feels for you exactly what you feel for him.
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Where are you guys right now? Or rather where are you and where has he gone back home to?
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The fact that he revels in hurting you the fact that he does things to make you jealous and all of the other totally disfunctional things that are going on show that he's as fucked up by it all as you are... If he had no feelings at all for you he wouldn't bother with going to those lengths to affect you. None of the feelings on yours or his part are positive - he's chipping away at you because he is a nasty and frankly sad queen he's not intelligent enough to be doing all this to systematically dismantle you emotionally that's just what's happening as a consequence of what is quite common in "our world" where jealousy, competitiveness, vanity etc etc etc conspire to create a monster of a relationship. Your relative behaviours and emotional make-ups were never compatible, even if you had fallen genuinely in love it was doomed so you should go forward not frustrated or with regrets that it hasn't worked because you would never have been happy - do you even remember what happy is? I dont think you do, I think you are so resigned to this shit that you almost believe that this is what happy is or at least as happy as it can be. When you get the balls to kick this into touch you're going to feel reborn - and although you may think you'll miss being with someone you actually might need some time to recover not from the termination but from the relationship itself. I think you might feel less lonely without him than you do with him.
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Next time God's gift comments on the aesthetic beauty of one of your bolt holes get your eyebrows up, neck back look him up & down and calmly but dismissively reply "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and is more than skin deep my FRIEND" then flounce off nose to the sky lol
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Fella I promise you this isn't love - it is a type of addiction that manifests not dis-similarly to love and the very night that you experience that spark with someone else you will realise that because as Ms Carey sang "Love takes time to heal when it's hurting so bad" but you will find this heals remarkably quickly because it isn't love. It has made you forget what love feels like but when you feel that spark elsewhere you'll remember and feel so foolish but in a good way because that moment you get the full & final closure. I can be this confident because I have been there...a few times but each time I got better at spotting it and did what I needed to do for the sake of my sanity that bit sooner.
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I think GUM in a mirror will read MUG...
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PS The one thing you have very much in common with this guy is that neither of you have any respect for you. He doesn't respect you and that's as much your fault as his for allowing him to pick you up, use you & reject you at will but also you are lacking self respect by not putting a stop to it.
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"Relationships" like this NEVER improve - they are simply not meant to be. You have very different beliefs, values and morals which make you totally incompatible. It sounds very much like you have an addiction to him, this will only resolve by totally cutting off contact until you have properly moved on and have closure from whatever it is inside of you that allows and even encourages this to continue. Apportioning blame is fruitless but it is not one way as I see it because a couple of times you have said words to the effect of "Am I wrong to expect sex as I am paying for everything?" YES you are bloody wrong to expect sex when you voluntarily paid for these things. The longer this continues the longer it will take to recover and get your closure but if you were to meet another guy who you took a shine to on more than a purely sexual level you'd find the closure quite quickly and from experience I can tell you that you will also feel like a prized prick for having let this screw you up for as long as it has. When you do meet someone else be careful not to let this debacle cloud how you deal with things...be yourself and do what you feel is right and what you are comfortable with. Don't treat next guy as if he is previous guy - the temptation may be to be too much in control or tight as a ducks arse so that history doesn't repeat itself but next guy won't be the same everyone is unique. Don't repeat the mistakes you have made but don't let those mistakes ruin the future either. Be yourself as being who the last guy wanted you to be or who you thought he wanted you to be hasn't been a roaring success. If someone likes you for who you are things are so much easier so go find that someone - for fucks sake there are 50 of us subs for every 1 top so you should be auditioning for the future not crucifying yourself with the past.
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Pozzing My Cheating Boyfriend
UKSlamPIG replied to Spermpig's topic in Bug Chasing & Gift Giving FICTION
Afraid I don't have the story BUT if I had that top bf I'd cheat on him every opportunity I got lol
