I too had some bb when younger but went str8 as married life with kids took over. When I restarted gay sex I stayed with safe sex. After a couple of lapses into bb, I started to want bb real bad. Scared me some. Kids had left home and I was getting older. Decided I could follow up my needs more - guess I could be more irresponsible. I started to actively pursue bb and eventually I came to terms with the risk of HIV. The suggestion that life expectancy could be maintained thro drugs kinda helped. Then I found the idea of poz loads a real turn on. Still scary but just couldn't surpress the idea. I do think there are increasing number of older guys getting in raw sex and willing to take the risks, if not down right pursue them.