Darcicrisis

Thanks for all your input, unfortunately I do not have much of an update yet because we had to reschedule for next weekend...

I did get something special for the occasion, if things head in that direction it should be a very memorable night..

Thank you for all your input, it is greatly appreciated. I am interested in hearing any input anyone may have on my situation. I have agreed to meet up with Scott this Sunday.. I still am not sure I will handle whatever plays out, but I can't put off seeing him forever.. I guess I could but don't want to...

I am sure that I am gay.. I have no interest in sex with woman and crave sex with men all the time. I hate to give up the world I have built for myself, but have dreamed for as long as I can remember of being free to get fucked used. I always wanted to take loads bareback, I just never wanted to bring anything home to the wife.. I also was always afraid of HIV and that is probably why I stayed in the closet for so long. I knew the day would come when I would start taking Scott with no condoms I really do feel for him that deeply.. I just had not factored in the becoming positive part of being bred.. I have to admit though that it does turn me on a lot to know I in doing so would be the ultimate act of being together..

I am new here and fairly new to this topic. I have some serious decisions to make and could use any advice. I will give a little background information. I have 2 gay friends I have known since grade school Scott and Mike. I have known Scott since 1st grade and Mike since high school. For most of my life I thought I was bi-sexual , but in reality I am gay. When in school I had my first gay experiences with Scott. He offered to suck my cock one day and the rest as they say is history. We did many things over the years sexually. He got me to start dressing in slutty female clothes for him, he really enjoyed that. I did it because he liked it but I could take it or leave it. This went on for several years. As I got older I was pressured into the whole get married have a family live in denial trap. That is what I did and Scott followed what he wanted and came out and never looked back.. Over the years we would still hook up from time to time. I would dress up for him and we would have a great time fucking. I would always ask him if he was clean and we always used condoms. We have been following this arrangement for many years. Jump to about 6 months ago and I get a call from Mike saying that he had recently spoken to Scott. Mike told me he was giving me a heads up because Scott told him that he wanted to be with me full time and was sick of waiting for my marriage to fall apart. He told Mike that if he infected me I would have no choice but to leave my wife, or risk passing it to her. Mike did not feel it was fair for Scott to get me that way. This kind of thing was all new to me and I was a bit naïve so Mike told me to check out this website to get more information on the topic.. It was an eye opening experience reading the stories on this site. So I have been thinking about my situation a lot for the last couple months. I actually do love Scott, we have known each other most of our lives.. I just don't know if I can take this ultimate step with him. He does not know that I have been tipped off to his plan. But I have to admit I would probably be happier living as an out gay man than staying in a marriage that I feel trapped by. Now for my decision, Scott called me on Thanksgiving to say hi. He said he wanted us to get together sometime in the next couple of weeks for a hook up. He told me to wear something extra slutty because he had a special gift to give me this year for Christmas. Normally I would laugh it off as him just talking about his dick but now I know he is probably hinting about more.. I do not know if I can resist being with him.