So those are examples of when I crossed line. Some of those I have repeated others not so much. I was never really idealistic nor very moral. Still there was some tenants that I tried to keep you know but sometimes I do wonder if I had failed as person because I have in to my desires.
I still remember the 16 year old version of me that bristled at the idea of being labeled (I still don't care for it) I felt and feel regardless of what I do or sleep with I'm me first and at the end of the day I'm still me. Now the world will try to label you and categorize you but that's how the world behaves and why should I play along especially since it will do this just to tear me down. Same goes for people.
Not saying or even suggesting that I'm better than anyone after I know who I am and what I have done. I slept around so who am to call someone out for it, I sucked dick, got my dick sucked. Been with guys, girls and trans I have no right to call someone out on that too. It's almost like glass houses and stones except I'm not ashamed of what I have done. Could I have chosen different or made different choices... Yes but regret isn't an option at least not for me. If I was more cautious with my sex life I might not have contracted HIV but that can't be reversed and no point in beating oneself up over what had been done but learn from it.
Wow I kinda went off from what I originally intended was to talk about what we see as taboos and crossing lines that we say we wouldn't cross. I recognize that I'm a deeply flawed person in many aspects but I try not to let that define me and yet not ignore it either.
So if you got through this and have any thoughts pleaser share and I appreciate all those that take the time to read these posts
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