rawloadstaken

I'd like to start this rather lengthy post with an apology for any measure of vitriol I did not catch prior to posting it.

And to those moderating this forum, please let me know if you would like me to edit or delete this entry.

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My job is tied to provider and caregiver EMR support - flagging documentation, finding and reading test results, helping to place/correct/resolve orders, and so forth. 

I have friends and co-workers on the front line in over-capacity ERs and packed Immediate Care facilities. Some of my team may well be called back into a nursing or provider role. I am neither a clinician nor a licensed counselor, but I'm am SME for both impatient and outpatient medication integration, and I have been through - and currently use - our caregiver emotional support training.

And, truth to tell, it hurts that we're unable to hug one another for comfort. My soul aches every time another person I know comes down with it. I cry with them when they say they haven't been able to be in the same house as their children since this started.

As for me, I spent a week and a half with all the symptoms, but they weren't quite bad enough to push for the test. Close, yes: F 100° fever, dry cough, difficulty breathing, grinding fatigue ... but I didn't want to have them use a test on me unless I went further downhill, because I know all too well just how short the supplies of everything are.

And yes, I'm an unrepentant, voracious bottom, but I refuse to risk myself or those I care for just because I want that intimate level of human contact, regardless of whether it's wholesome or some hole.

Then I read stories like this, and I find myself suffused with an incandescent rage. His actions - both in and out of hospital - speak to a level of unconcern I find staggering. And to me it doesn't matter that it's tied to his sexual activities: what matters is that he chose to risk not only his own health, but that he treated the health of those around him in such a cavalier manner, and exhibited what I find to be an appalling level of disrespect to his caregivers. 

@rawTOP,  thank you for posting this, and to all those taking care of themselves, thinking about what's best for you and those around you, and reaching out to take care of others, mere words cannot express my respect and appreciation for what you're wiiling to do to work towards ending this nightmare.

Both the giving and receiving of loads occurred last night at my two closest ABS.

Suffice it to say that I returned home with sore knees, a lopsided grin, and - thanks to taking what was intended to be a brief break - nary a hint of regret that I didn't complete the rest of my errands.

Over the course of my sexual life? 

Oh yeah. Keeping aside, it's probably closer to -- and, more likely, well over -- 2K.

7 hours ago, barecubtop said:

But, as others will say on here, you'd be surprised at how many are willing to go bare that say "safe only" or something in their profiles.

That's something that amuses me to no end. I get tops with "safe only" in their profile message me and tell me they only use condoms, and when I point out my screen name, about half of them give the "oh, maybe just this once" excuse and ask if I'm really willing to bareback. 

Other than my first girlfriend, all but a (very) few of my encounters in college were bareback. To be honest, other than seeing them in the stores when I purchased lube, I never really thought about either purchasing or using condoms. That stayed the same while I was in a monogamous relationship, and then I alternated between condoms and bareback depending on my mood and the top.

I returned to condom use in the mid-'80s when I started losing friends to what was colloquially termed the AIDS scare/crisis/panic, but even through my own fears and despair, I kept leaning toward barebacking purely from the standpoint of physical comfort. I have a mild latex allergy, and polyurethane condoms weren't terribly common at the time, but I had the feeling -- I can't say "belief," as it wasn't that strong -- that I would at least attempt to make being a receptive partner for anal sex safer.

Ironically enough, I had more damage done to my hole during that time by condom use than I ever have by enormous cocks or vigorous, multi-topped sessions.

Absent a far more involved discussion of my personal journey than anyone is likely to enjoy yawning through, suffice it to say that science's greater understanding of HIV transmission rates and associated infection vector(s) combined with my access to PrEP has almost completely turned me off of condoms of any type. I will -- if my partner adamantly insists on it -- accept condom use in the beginning, or if it's going to be a one-off encounter, but I also make clear that I find bare not only more enjoyable, but more psychologically fulfilling, and condoms kill both sensation and the mood.

I guess you could say I started out barebacking, worked through what I personally felt was a devastating time by resorting to condom use, and then was given the opportunity to return to bareback.

And I don't think I'll ever look back.

Last Friday I was tired (but horny) after leaving work and decided to check out Peeps Too on the way home.

I mentioned in one of my previous posts about the gorgeous thick cock who started making fucking noises as soon as I started sucking him, and he was there again.

Hey, I may not recognize faces, but I can recognize the cocks I like.

He started thrusting as soon as he was in my mouth, and this time I didn't do the whole playing about with dragging him up and down my crack, I just stood up and started pushing back onto him. I was a little too dry to begin with unfortunately -- not that this stopped either of us -- but between his precum and me fingering more lube onto his cock and around my hole while he was fucking me, it became a little less of a struggle for him to move in me.

The load he gave me was hot -- as in it felt like it was steaming in my guts and was going to sizzle when it dripped out of my hole -- and he pulled back and wiped himself off while I was catching my breath.

I leaned over and and said thank you while I was fingering the load in my hole, and he replied with "thank you" before he left.

So he's got a great cock, he barebacks, he has a good amount of stamina, he shoots big (and tasty) loads, and he's polite. Now that's what I call an anonymous keeper.

I rather hope to see/feel him again sometime.

@raunchycumslut covered 90% of what I was going to say, so about the only thing I can add -- other than condoms, as @evilqueerpig noted -- is guys who don't respect boundaries.

If my partner(s) du jour want to add something to what we've negotiated, even if it's not something that I would usually do, I'm almost always willing to negotiate. When it comes to my hard limits, though, ask once, then stop. Pushing for it, demanding it, or telling me that I have no say in the situation is a hard no.

12 hours ago, rawloadstaken said:

... it might give guy some commodity ...

Wow. Thank you autocorrect.

That was supposed to be "it might give you some comfort ..."

3 hours ago, seaguy said:

Paper Trail?  Your information is protected by HIPAA.

Agreed. 

I can understand the discomfort one may feel wondering or worrying about what might happen should their medical or medication history be released to those not in a need to know clinical relationship, but unless you're concerned about a spouse / partner / lover / person who holds your medical PoA finding out, it might give guy some commodity to know that your medical record is protected under HIPAA law, and even in those aforementioned scenarios, HIPAA guidelines still apply, and there are additional state and federal laws protecting how much -- and what type of -- information can be disseminated at all.

I can completely understand wanting to clarify why you're taking it -- I was in much the same boat when I started -- but in a clinical or hospital environment, your healthcare providers should need to know is that (a) you're still taking it, and (b) at this time, you are not HIV-positive. 

If you're in an environment where they may not know -- even if they should-- such as a dentist's office or eye care provider,  then my personal choice had been to say something along the lines of it being a prophylactic prescription for sexual health.

As to knowing which medications you're on, that's tied to whether your healthcare providers such as primary care physicians, hospitals, and surgeons are in same medical group (such as Kaiser Permanente) or, if they are not, whether or not you signed intake paperwork saying your current provider(s) could access your medical chart from other locations / groups / practices.

And I know my experiences aren't/won't be the same as yours, but I hope I've helped to ease your mind at least a little bit. 

I went to Peeps Too after work on Sunday to see if anyone was interested.

About ten minutes after I got there, I was in the L side of a three-part gloryhole suite and saw a gorgeous, thick, curved, uncut dick come sliding through the hole. I sucked on him for about five minutes, then started dragging the tip of his dick across my ass. He didn't object, so I took a hit of poppers and pushed myself down.

Did I mention he was thick? Because yeah, he was thick.

Even with everything I did to prep for it, it hurt for the first minute or two, and then my "oh, hey, you're a slut" trigger kicked over and I started moaning. I was pressed against the hole holding my cheeks apart and feeling him rail my ass and guts. If he didn't punch through the second sphincter, he damn sure was knocking on that door.

He unloaded in me, and so I turned around and cleaned him off with my mouth -- y'know, as you do -- and he finally pulled back, tucked himself away, and stepped out of the booth.

I don't know if he said something to the next person in through the door, but about thirty seconds after I started sucking him, he started making fucking motions with his hips, so I took the hint and slid down to the pubes on him, too.

Another load, another cleaning.

The third guy to breed me had a smaller uncut cock, but he made up for it with stamina. He pounded me for somewhere between five and eight minutes before he started shooting.

And yes, I cleaned him off too.

The fourth load I took was from a gorgeous, slightly curved dick. He was probably the most vocal of the four, but I could be wrong, as I was in a fuck-haze by then.

Cleaned, tucked away, and left.

The fifth load was swallowed. A smaller cock, but a huge, sweet load, and I pulled his foreskin back to make sure I got every last drop.

Had no luck at Peeps, but did feed my load to a cocksucker who kept gagging on my cock, and then tried to rather roughly finger my cum-filled ass.

So yeah. Good night, a lot of loads, and this last week suddenly became just a little bit better.

On 4/28/2018 at 12:46 AM, PNWbbCUB said:

I try to be sustainable. If I give one I take one if I give 3 I probably have 3 loads in me.

To borrow from a fairly common phrase, "recycle, redux, please use.

What can I say? I like sustainability.

4 hours ago, GingerCumPig said:

Saturday night at Hawks in Portland. Fucked a hot daddy first thing... handsome, muscular, hairy daddy with a beautiful hole. Then went into the dark room and heard one guy saying to another that he came in to get fucked and had fucked two guys instead. So I said "I'll fuck you" and opened up his very nice hole. But the really hot time came when I was fucking one guy who was bent over a low wall, when another guys came up to watch. Then he bent over the wall as well. So I went back and forth between the two until I bred the second one while another guy (the hot daddy I first fucked) stepped in and pounded the other guy. A night of top only, but fuck it was fun.

I guess I need to start going to Hawks on a more regular basis ...

I got my last two loads about three hours ago.

I went to Peeps Too after work, sucked on a couple of cocks, and then started to head out before a HOT bear (or maybe cub: I'm not sure how he self-identified) came in and went into one of the GH booths. I went into the next one, and he dropped trou and stuck his cock through the hole.

It was gorgeous.

Thick and uncut, probably in the 8" range. I sucked him for maybe five minutes, and then started rubbing my hole against the tip of his cock. He didn't pull back, so I started sinking onto his dick until I was pressed up against the hole, and then he went to town.

My god, but he threw a good fuck.

He pulled out after a few minutes and asked if we could go to the other side of the booths, as they're larger and more private.

We got there, he pulled down his sweatpants, and I started sucking him again. When I stood up, he leaned over and sucked on me for a bit, then stood up and held his dick. I turned back around, and he wound up fucking me even harder than he had in the GH booth. After a bit he tensed up and just kept saying "oh god, oh my god, fuuuuuck," and he unloaded in me.

I knelt down and sucked on him for a couple of minutes -- I was hoping to get him hard enough for round two -- and then he said he was getting too sensitive. We thanked one another and left the booth, and I'm hoping I see him there again sometime.

As to the load, I don't know how long he'd been saving it up, but I wound up dripping into my jeans even though I was trying to hold my hole closed.

As I was getting ready to head home, my occasional FB messaged me and said he was at Peeps and wanted to know if I wanted his load.

He really had to ask me that?

I got there, chewed on and played with his nipples as he likes, and he wound up breeding me deep.

So yeah, really full.

I'm home, I'm sloppy, and I'm hornier than ever, so I think I'll try to get some more dick tomorrow after I get some car work done, and I may wind up going to Lights Out at Hawks (depending on how I'm feeling).

Starfish Stencil?

I've found the Portland OR metro area to be fairly breeder-friendly and condom-averse.

Seattle WA -- at least for the short time I was there -- was also a fantastic raw venue.

13 hours ago, Saturn1 said:

WHY fuck bare and pull out??? Pulling out NEVER made any sense to me like EVER!!! Lol!

I'll be honest, I get irate when I see someone pull out and either lose their load on the floor or shoot the whole thing on the lower back.

If you're getting fucked raw, why object to the load? If you're fucking raw, why not proceed to breed?

(And if you're a porn studio, maybe show one squirt -- just one, no more -- to prove that the top is cumming, then have him shove it back in and blow the rest of the load in the bottom?)

As a bottom, I can understand some situations in which I'd need to tap out; however, those are few and far between, and usually involve issues other than just sex.

(Like when I had stomach valve surgery: no sexy times for about four months, and the first time after that? Nope.)

But I cannot understand why someone would say "I want to be whored out" without understanding what it means and making sure they're up to it. There is a lot of work the tops put in to coordinate the situation, and if the bottom flakes or winds up unable to handle it, there's a lot of disappointment on the part of the participants, and it could negatively impact the coordinating top's reputation in the community.

"Oh yeah ... you're the one who set up the last bust or two, yeah? Thanks but no thanks."

To my mind, if you're a bottom for a single top or a gangbang / whoring festivity, you have to be ready to put your ass where your mouth is ... as it were. If you ask for it, you'd damn well better be able to take it.

It really depends on the situation, and on what my fuckbuddy / top / random hookup prefers.

When I'm in the GH booths, I'm usually in a jock or a pair of assless briefs for easy access, but one of my fuckbuds wants me naked (except for shoes and socks), and one wants me in leather.

I've had a few huge cocks fuck me: I think the longest was right around twelve glorious uncut inches, and he looked to be almost as thick as a soda can. I've had a few that were close to that since then, but none that ... heh ... measured up.

I do love the nine and ten inchers, though. I have to be completely horned up -- and, preferably, fucked enough to be lubed and loosened -- but when it happens, I go into a fuck daze, and all I can do is hope that the feeling never ends.

In me, not on me.

I'm almost always hard when I'm getting fucked, and if I'm really in the zone, I'll stay at least semi-hard after blowing my load, and usually work back to a full erection as long as I have a raw cock pounding my hole.

And much like @bbpoznow noted, I leak precum like a sieve when I'm bottoming.

Well then!

To quote Katniss, I volunteer for tribute.

16 minutes ago, BugChaserPDX said:

Cumtemple like Pozconvert, was my site too! It had a major database crash and was burnt out on it so I said "fuckit." It was fun sometimes, and deliberately over the top. Funny how many dudes took some of the crazy ass shit I wrote totally seriously. But I saw potential in the kinda "Satanic Slut" niche ... and gotta admit it could sometimes be a prtty hot fantasy to play with. Had a cpl dudes submit jack off vids complete with candles and pentagrams etc. hehe  

Weird can be hot.

First off, re: it being your site, I hope you don't mind me squealing in joy and delight.

That said, sorry to hear about the database crash, but that explains the "oh, poo ... it's gone now."

For what you did, thank you very much. It was greatly appreciated, and a great deal of fun.

(And you're right: weird can be hot.)

7 hours ago, Saturn1 said:

I think that there is a HUGE chasm between Fantasy and Reality. The internet is an AWESOME place to engage in fantasy and roleplay. I am not sure WHY peeps have certain on-line fantasies but don't seem to have them irl. I often wonder why someone would have a fantasy that gets them all horned up BUT won't make the fantasy happen in reality.

I can think of a number of reasons -- legality, personal morals, time of the month, or "I haven't met the right person yet" are some I've heard -- but I think it boils down to being excited online and terrified (or at the least disconcerted) in meatspace. As a non-fetish example, one of my friends is an author: she writes some of the most graphic sexual scenes and horrifying ... well, horror ... and yet she's one of the most easily terrified and sexually innocent people I know.

In that sense, it's somewhat like those who are some of the sweetest people you can meet online, but they're total arsewipes in person. Or v. versa, of course.

As to watersports, however, then speaking only for myself, I've tried drinking my own and that of others, and -- while the thought of it doesn't squick me out -- it really did nothing for me. That said, I don't object to being pissed on in certain situations, and as long as I have something on tap, I'm willing to provide mine, so ... piss top, cum bottom?

As to drinking it being dangerous, there are arguments on both sides of the equation: it's not as sterile as was once purported, and there is the possibility for it to carry certain bacterial nasties, but it's also been used as a health tonic/treatment by some cultures for hundreds of years. Now if you're talking about concentrated urine -- recycled or reduced urine with no diluting agent -- then to borrow a line from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "that's not necessarily of the good." In that specific instance, then from some of the medical literature I've had to read, your kidneys will have to work overtime; and, should you have kidney or bladder problems (including, but not limited to, pre-existing kidney, bladder, or urinary tract infections), it can exacerbate the situation and cause unwanted -- and yes, sometimes dangerous -- complications.