Rawdawg13

    As a student of biology,  I know it to be true that we, as biological organisms are not designed or wired for monogamy.  It is natural instinct for one simple reason, propagation of the species and its the same for almost all living creature.  And I know...gay men can't procreate...but our evolutionary mind doesn't understand that.  All it understands is whats kept it alive, surviving,  and evolving for hundreds of thousands of years..and that is (and this is not the exact scientific terminology, btw...)  "I need to come as much as possible on as many people as possible as many times as possible in order to keep shit going"...thats it.  Gay or straight.  And thats just the cliff notes version..there is actually much, much more to it than simply that.

    Monogamy is kinda like Bigfoot...some people claim to have seen it but I still don't believe in it.   It was created by man, or rather the church, as another way to control man.  Monogamy is not the natural order.  

     My partner and i opened our relationship, as we knew we would someday,  and if anything its enhanced our relationship not the opposite.  I know most people in open relationships lay down a patchwork of rules to help in maintaining order.  And thats fine, they do what they need to do.  But in our case the rules are there are no rules. I feel thats when things get complicated.  When you start with the "You can do this but you can't do that, and I need a written request three days before that requires my approval but only if its notarized, but not on a leap year"- thats  when things get complicated, thats when you are setting yourself up for failure and disappointment.  The only parameter we have, if you can even call it that, is don't get romantic.  Just get in, get off, and get out.  Then we go home, tell each other all the details and fuck like sailors on shore leave.

     Also ,I don't know if you've ever heard of Dan Savage.  He is a very well known author, activist (It Gets Better Campaign, designed to help gay youth) and sex advice columnist.  I owe my life and my relationship to this man.  I read him everyday.  I highly recommend reading his column, listening to his podcast and reading his books.  He can explain it better than I ever could.