Jump to content

JakeTurner

Senior Members
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Posts

    240

  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    1

 Content Type 

Blog Entries posted by JakeTurner

  1. JakeTurner

    God, it feels good to be a cumdump!

    By JakeTurner,


    Being a cumdump
    My load count for the past few years has been really horrible. Sadly it’s been single digits (per year!) since 2018. 2015-2018 it was triple digits. The past 3 years I can kinda blame on COVID, but it’s more than that. Fall if 2017 I did the week in Key West where I left my Truvada in NYC (intentionally) and took as many loads as possible. That started a “am I sure I want to be doing this?” phase which lasted a while. Then COVID happened. 
    Needless to say I want to get back up to triple digits. Problem was my year started with a lot of family stuff. But I was hoping things would change when I went to SF and stayed with some piggy friends. But then I was reading that the SF bars don’t have much sex going on.
    First night out at Powerhouse was a bust. I just wasn’t attracting anyone I was remotely interested in and not all that much was going on. 
    Second night was a Castro bar crawl. I don’t think any of the bars had stuff going on though. 
    But 3rd time is a charm. The last. Igor we went to the Eagle and they had a dark room set up. For the first hour (plus) that we were there no one was doing much of anything in the back room but then there was a burst of activity and I was in the right place at the right time.
    The first guy to fuck me was this (~) late 20s guy with bleach blond hair who looked a bit LA. Not completely my type, but definitely good enough. He blew a load in my ass.
    Then a title holder from a small(ish) gay bar (not in SF) fucked me, but didn’t breed me. I noticed I was REALLy sloppy afterwards which means the first guy blew a nice big load 😁
    A really cute guy wanted to fuck me but he was walking around with a condom on, so I said no.
    There was a lull in activity in the back room so I took a break. When I returned a little later some guys were fucking so I jacked my dick watching them and then let a cocksucker blow me. I got hard and wanted to fuck, but the bottom was busy with other tops. Then the first guy who fucked me started fucking me again which put me in bottom mode and my dick went soft. A couple of bottoms wanted me to fuck them but I wasn’t hard enough. I did rim 2-3 guys. Unfortunately none of them seemed to have loads in them.
    At that point I went into bottom mode and was sucking whatever random dick was shoved in my face while guys fucked me. Some other guy I can’t remember (cause I didn’t really see much of him since I was bent over sucking random cocks) fucked me, but didn’t cum  
    Then another cock was shoved in my ass and after a bit it was pretty clear he blew his load while he was in me. When he pulled out I noticed he had a condom on with a big load in it, so I pulled off the condom. I was trying to get the load out of the condom and up my ass when the next guy wanted to fuck, so I bent over and took his dick. He then blew his load and again I found he was wearing a condom. I started to pull his condom off and he didn’t understand why. The other condom top told him I was collecting loads so he gave me the condom. At which point I pushed both loads up my ass. 
    Then there was this guy with a gorgeous dick with a mushroom head. Thankfully he fucked me raw but he didn’t cum. 
    When he pulled out a hot, 30-something slightly muscled bear (with tattoos) started fucking me. After a bit he asked if he could come in me and I said “please do!” and he proceeded to blow his load. 
    Then the first guy fucked me a second time. It wasn’t long before I could feel his dick pulsing as he shot his load up my ass. 
    So that’s 3 proper loads, plus two “indirect” condom loads, plus 2 guys who didn’t cum. Needless to say I was on cloud nine. It felt SO GOOD to get back to being a cumdump. 
    The best part is none of that made me think I should be taking PrEP. I’m now completely comfortable with the risk. In fact it would make me really happy if I got pozzed in a scene like that. 
  2. JakeTurner

    My New Year's Resolution Is To Get Pozzed

    By JakeTurner,


    Getting Pozzed
    Well, I'm still testing neg (last test was 3 weeks ago) - not that I've been taking all that many loads.
    My main concern lately is that I've had a bunch of trips this year. There was one around July 1st, then another early August, then one in early October, and then over Thanksgiving. And coming up there's a 2 week trip around New Year's / early January. So, doing the math… if I got pozzed fuck flu could have messed up one of the trips. I'm just too much of a control freak to let that happen. BUT, after the trip in early January there's nothing until probably April, so my New Year's resolution is to take a lot of loads starting around New Years and focus on situations and people where I'm most likely to get pozzed. The January trip is to California - so should have some decent opportunities to get take some poz loads to get the ball rolling. 
    There is one top here in NYC who apparently is toxic and wants to poz me, but he's also into other STIs. I just wanna get pozzed. The other stuff is a major turn-off. 
    The other complication has been work and other "life" stuff keeping me busy. Not to mention at the end of the day I'm more likely to want to have a drink and take it easy than go out. Part of that is pandemic habits which I need to break, but the other part is just growing older and not having unlimited energy for sex. 
    But mentally I'm definitely "there". I want this and and I want it bad and basically have zero reservations about it. I've worked through whether this is some form of self harm that I should be worried about, or whether it's due to depression or something - it's not. The risk of becoming poz has turned me on for nearly 30 years. And about 10 years ago I had come to the conclusion to just let it happen – but then PrEP came out and I figured it would be easier / less complicated to stay neg. That didn't last long though - a few years later I started gradually taking less and less of my PrEP until I finally stopped. Then there were a couple years of not much sex as I examined what in the hell I was doing, and then just when I was getting ready to take real risk the pandemic hit. So now the desire to be poz has grown and it needs to happen. So much so I might even let the toxic top here in NYC breed me - even if it involves other STIs…
    The next few weeks I'll probably focus on topping, but once I'm on the trip to CA I'm gonna need poz cock and loads in my ass!
  3. JakeTurner
    A lot has been going through my mind the past 5 days since I took what I think was a toxic load…
    The first night I didn't sleep all that well (excitement, not worry). Then the next day I realized nothing except possibly my status has changed. But if I'm poz it does change some of my priorities. I came the morning after, but now I'm going to try to not cum except when I'm fucking someone. That said, my libido hasn't been all that strong. 
    I've been reading about viral loads. I knew the basics, but not the particulars. Upon doing some research I learned HIV hides out in the lymph nodes near your groin and then when they replicate a certain amount HIV "bursts" into your blood stream and that's when you're actually toxic. Apparently that's around Day 8. Then  weeks 2-4 (first half of July) I'll be the most infectious I'll ever be. The weeks 10-24 (late August to Thanksgiving) I'll have a low, but detectable viral load, then it slowly builds.
    BUT the problem is getting anything but the mildest case of fuck flu is a problem right now since I have an international trip scheduled at the end of the month. SO, my plan is to start taking PrEP in order to keep a lid on the infection and keep my fuck flu mild. (At least that's what I hope will happen). So Sunday (~10 days after taking the load) I'll start taking PrEP every other day. Then I'll ramp that up to daily, and then taper down again before I come home. Even after I get back there's an event scheduled where it would be a problem if I were down for the count with fuck flu, so I'll take a little bit until that's over. If it works the worst case scenario is that I become meds resistant for Truvada (and that's not a huge negative in my book 😈). 
    I knew I had all those complications when I took the load, but I took it anyway because at the end of the day there just isn't a convenient time to have fuck flu. I'm really hoping I can control any symptoms with PrEP. It'll suck if I can't.
    But, taking PrEP means I'll be knocking down my viral load. So that whole 2-4 weeks, and 10-24 weeks timeline may not really apply to me. But at the end of the day I'm happy whether my viral load is 50,000 or 1 million. Actually, I'm happier with 50,000 since, if I can keep the viral level low, but high enough to knock guys up, then that's a plus. It means I can probably stay off meds longer, and poz more guys who are chasing (actively and passively).
    The other issue is that I was going to take a home HIV test a month after I took the load. Normally that would be pretty accurate, but apparently people who started ARV therapy quickly after infection (which is kinda what I'm doing by taking Truvada) take longer to develop antibodies. And home tests are antibody tests. So I'll probably wait a few more weeks to test, or try to do multiple tests. But it'll be really frustrating to not know if I'm poz or not…
    Oh, in other news… I figured out the guy who gave me the load is an OnlyFans model. (No, I won't tell you which one.) I knew he was hot, but hadn't realized he had turned his good looks into a profession (or at least a significant side hustle). A couple people I talked to about him did confirm they knew he was a bug chaser, so that ups the odds of him telling the truth about being toxic. Now the question is whether he's actually toxic or just a good sex worker feeding into someone's fantasy (a fantasy he shares). A lot of the guys who get into poz fetish aren't for real - they're on PrEP or already undetectable. My gut tells me that he's telling the truth, and I kinda trust my impression of him (I'm a pretty good judge of people), BUT it could just be wishful thinking on my part. 
    Doing some more calculations with dates – my possible "poz daddy" said he had a mild fuck flu in December. So backing that up it means he was probably pozzed around Thanksgiving (roughly). So he was at week ~28 after infection. So (if he's having an "average" infection) he'd be about a month out of his period of low viral load. That's actually fine with me. The higher his viral load the more problems I'll have with fuck flu. 
    POSTSCRIPT: I tested neg a few weeks later (on a NAAT test that can detect HIV before there are antibodies). Either the guy wasn't toxic, or he faked cumming in me, or it all leaked out on the bike ride home, or it just wasn't enough virus to infect me.
  4. JakeTurner
    There's this top who seems to really like fucking me. He gave me a couple loads a week or two ago, and we arranged to hookup again last night. Hopefully we can make it a regular thing. I can tell he really wants to see me get fucked by other guys – which would be totally cool – I love taking multiple loads.
    Before we hooked up I just casually asked him if he was turned on by the fact that I'm neg and he's poz. He said it wasn't a factor for him one way or the other. But last night when I went over to get fucked we got into some "poz talk" and he seemed to really like it. In fact he came twice. First load up my ass while fucking me, and then like two minutes after he came he jacked off and stuck his cock in as he was cumming. He's never done that before and I'm wondering if he isn't more turned on by me being neg than he'll admit.
    Hopefully next time he'll be able to line up some other tops and we'll have a little gang bang with me as the bottom
  5. JakeTurner

    I think I just got pozzed!

    By JakeTurner,


    Conversion
    A couple hours ago I hooked up with this guy who I'd fucked in the past when he was a bug chaser and I'm like 90% sure I've got a toxic load in my unPrEPped neg ass right now. 😈☣️
    When I fucked him before I was vague about my status back then since I knew I was neg and his fantasy was that I was poz and toxic, but it turned me on that he was chasing. He was this clean-cut, muscle frat boy type - not the type you'd expect to be  trying to get pozzed. Last fall he'd told me he didn't really know his status since he hadn't been tested in a while. But lately I had noticed that his BBRT profile said "positive", so I assumed he had converted or at least assumed he had converted. 
    Today he thought we were "swapping strains". My dick wasn't completely cooperating (tired from the bike ride over there). So we took a break and I asked if he wanted to jack off and stick his dick in my ass as he was humming (most of the time I'm not in the mood to bottom - I prefer topping). He had been rock hard the whole time and it took him like 5 seconds to shove into me. Even though he didn't go in far it hurt like hell and felt like it was ripping a bit. It was as he was humming that I finally said "poz me, poz my neg ass". But he still probably figured it was fantasy talk. 
    When he pulled out (he was barely in) I got up and told him I'd had a neg test two weeks ago and hadn't taken PrEP in two years. That's pretty much the truth. Last time I took PrEP was February 2020, and I had been really sloppy about taking PrEP since late 2017 (e.g. slightly more loads in my ass than pills of PrEP since then). He seemed a bit hesitant when he responded. He said he'd finally gotten a confirmation test last month (later he told me it was a home test) and he was going to wait as long as possible to go on meds. 
    Taking his toxic load got me rock hard, unfortunately he's one of those guys who can't get fucked after they cum. Too bad - I could have given him my last neg load…
    I'm rock hard as I write this. In thinking about it I've been seriously considering getting pozzed for over a decade. In the late 90s I was turned on by the risk the guys were taking in TIM videos. And I remember being in bed at MAL in 2011 with a friend/fuckbuddy who was poz and not on meds and him offering to blow a load in me to make it happen. I almost took him up on it then. It just grew and grew over the years. Now the only thing I think about when I jack off is either getting pozzed or pozzing guys. As I'm getting older I figured it was kinda now or never. 
    My only misgiving at this point is the awkward conversations I'll need to have with a few people at some point in the future. 
    I texted with the guy after and he said he thinks he knows who pozzed him. He did have "the flu" back in December, but it wasn't too bad. I just hope I don't get fuck flu at an inconvenient or awkward time… At some point I'll have him give me another load - just to make sure it takes. 
    Now to find some neg bottoms to fuck…
    POSTSCRIPT: I tested neg a few weeks later (on a NAAT test that can detect HIV before there are antibodies). Either the guy wasn't toxic, or he faked cumming in me, or it all leaked out on the bike ride home, or it just wasn't enough virus to infect me.
  6. JakeTurner

    Took Truvada last night…

    By JakeTurner,


    Fuck Flu
    …not to avoid getting HIV, but rather to try to mitigate any fuck flu symptoms I might have. I'm thinking Truvada will slow down HIV and less virus = a milder fuck flu. Not sure if that's true, but we'll see… It's not like I'm trying to get pozzed so I can experience horrible fuck flu or have it interrupt my travel plans. I'll be quite happy if I can test poz without any symptoms or just minimal symptoms. If the symptoms built slowly over a couple days I'd take them at first sign of symptoms, but apparently that's not how it works. So I'll take a low dose of Truvada for the next couple weeks. 
    [I should also mention that all my Truvada has expired at this point. So who knows whether it'll do the job it's supposed to do…]
    I'm only 11 days after taking the (possibly/probably) toxic load. I had a case of oral herpes - which is weird for me - can't remember the last time that happened. And I've had days where I'm pretty headachy - but mostly when I didn't get enough sleep the night before.
    And my dick is completely unpredictable. That's not completely unusual for me, but it seems noticeably worse than usual. I did try to fuck two guys. One was this super hot muscled black guy. I was (barely) hard enough to fuck, but couldn't cum. I did fuck him for like 20-30 minutes and he was pretty wet after (precum?). But his profile said he was on PrEP, so it's not like there was risk for him. The other guy I tried to fuck was super tight and I couldn't get hard enough to push in. Frustrating… He was also really oral (which does almost nothing for me) and didn't like to get rimmed - but otherwise he was cute enough to try again in the future. Both guys are in the neighborhood so I'm hoping I'll eventually get my cum in both of them.
    I just want to fast forward to being toxic but otherwise back to normal.
    So we'll see… I'm hoping I don't get significant symptoms since they could lead to awkward questions.
  7. JakeTurner

    Short, Intense, Cummy Sex Party

    By JakeTurner,


    Sex Parties
    Went to a sex party last week. Damn it was fun! Just 6 of us there, but all the guys fucked me and 4 of them came in my ass - one guy came twice, so I got 5 loads in just an hour and a half. It was all sorts of guys too…
    One was this muscular little Latino who I've swapped loads with before. He was one of the other guys getting fucked - it was hot seeing him get fucked by all those guys. He managed to give me two loads at the party and I gave him my load as well. I gotta say it's really hot getting a load from a fellow slut. It's like he's passing on everything he's gotten from all those tops at all those sex parties.
    There was this black total top with a big dick. Loved watching that monster go in and out of other guys' asses, but it was hard to take him he was so big and I'm just not that good of a bottom. Still, he was a bit obsessed with my ass and also gave me two loads.
    The other load I got was from this hot, lean white guy. His dick was "average" which I prefer - felt great when he fucked me.
    A Latino daddy with a big belly fucked me as well. He tried to cum, but never did give a load to anyone.
    The other guy who fucked me was a white guy who was mostly a bottom. Total slut. He gave his load to the hot muscular Latino who dumped two loads in me.
    It was a lot of fun. Hope I can find more parties like that!
  8. JakeTurner
    Well, I did it. I went the full 8 days without PrEP and was as a big of a slut as my body could handle. It's not like I freaked out in the middle and stopped having sex or anything. All in all I got 33 loads (which was just 1/3rd of my initial goal and 1/2 what I really hoped for). In the process I learned a bit about my body and how I feel about getting pozzed…
    Just a quick note to say that PrEP is >90% effective 7 days after you stop (if you've been taking it every day, which I was), but apparently after the 7 days the efficacy starts dropping pretty quickly. So most of my risk was the last day or two. I toyed with stopping a day or so before I went, but wasn't sure how I'd feel when things were actually in progress, so I didn't take the risk.
    Just looking at the last couple days when there was risk. I took 3 loads in Fort Lauderdale (one of which said he was undetectable) on the final day, and three in Key West the day before. So if anything happened it was probably one of those 5 loads. 
    First thing I learned was that I don't want some random guy I really am not into being my poz daddy. Or maybe a better way of putting it is that I want to look back at when I got pozzed and think "that was really hot!". And most of the sex in Key West wasn't really hot. Not saying it was all bad sex, just that there was more "forgettable" sex than one might hope. (Though I did have sex with a porn star you probably all know – which is saying something since he was mostly just fucking his "boy" – a guy who's just started in porn). 
    Going forward I think my strategy with PrEP will be to take it after having 1-on-1 sex. If I'm really into the guy I just won't take it. That way the only guys who have a chance of pozzing me are guys who I'd want as a poz daddy. (For sex parties, I'll take it the day before as well as when I get home from the party). 
    Second thing I learned was that you can be too sexually assertive. I'm a New Yorker who knows the difference between assertive (good) and aggressive (bad). It's not like I was a pushy asshole bottom who was being rude. But the two huge sexual failures this week happened when I was being really sexually assertive. The first time I was wearing a t-shirt that made it crystal clear that I was was a cumdump. The back had a big pig with #CumInMyAss below it and a downwards pointing arrow below that. I got a lot of dick wearing that t-shirt – 8 guys fucked me, but no one came in my ass. I'm in it for the load, not the fuck, so huge failure.
    Then Sunday night I had a #neg4poz gangbang in Fort Lauderdale. 44 guys signed up, plus I gave 2 guys details privately, yet only one showed up and fucked me / gave me a load. (One other showed up, but was super nervous, couldn't get hard, and left after a couple minutes of a blowjob). I've been watching the sex parties in Fort Lauderdale and 44 guys is really good – almost as good as their CumUnion parties get. But only one guy showing up is horrible. In hindsight I think they probably all thought I'd flake – I was presenting myself as a bug chaser and bug chasers have a habit of not going through with it. But so do toxic tops. I even tried to give guys cover and told guys to just pretend they were toxic even if they weren't. That way the assumption could be that the guy was just lying about being toxic. It should have been a really hot scene, but 1 top showing up out of 44/46 is a complete failure. 
    Third thing I learned was that my ass can't take deep cleanings every day. As much as I'd love to be a 24/7/365 cumdump I just don't have it in me. My intestinal track is a mess after doing deep cleanings every day for 8 days. Maybe if I could just do shallow cleanings it could work, but then big dicks are a problem 'cause they'll get up deeper than I cleaned out. But one way or another I probably need to lay off bottoming for a week to let things get back to  normal. 
    Fourth thing I learned was that Key West isn't as gay as I thought. It was my first time in Key West and I'd always heard the gay scene there was pretty good, but it's just not. There are basically two bars – Saloon 1 and Bourbon Street Pub (and some drag places) and they both had issues getting a critical mass of people on what's billed as the biggest week of the year. Mind you, Hurricane Irma dropped the crowds by 30-50%. But that means most of the time they're pretty empty. And their busy hours are really limited as well. 
    That said, Island House was really special. If you've never been think combo gay guest house, naked bar, and bathhouse. I got 11 of my 33 loads at Island House, and the crowd is hotter than elsewhere as well – to the point that it was the only place I was inspired to top (gave 2 loads). 
    [By comparison I got 9 loads at Saloon 1, and 3 at Bourbon Street Pub.]
    One thing I did really like about Key West is how you can be naked in all the bars, and even have sex at the bars – there are no hangups there. I wish the same were true in NYC. Yeah, the Cock is like that, but only late at night. In Key West it's 24/7.
    All in all I'm glad I did it and went without PrEP. It helped clarify a few things for me…
  9. JakeTurner
    So I did it. I went on vacation (9 days, 8 nights) and didn't take my PrEP. It feels weird going out, taking loads, and then not taking the pill that night. I wake up every morning wanting to get pozzed, but at night I'm tired and doubtful. But can't say I've got any major doubts – it's more like a nagging feeling to do the right thing. 
    So far Fantasy Fest has been pretty slow and I've struggled to get loads. I was hoping to get 100 loads this week, which would have required I get 13 every day. But after 3 days I've only gotten 14. I'm confident things will pick up, I'm just not sure how much they'll pick up. I've never been to Key West before. The gay community here is a lot smaller than I expected. I can imagine living here you probably see the same faces all the time, but then a cruise ship or two will come in and you get fresh meat. It's like here the world comes to you. Whereas NYC just has the world all the time. But in Key West you can openly fuck at the bars. God, I wish that were more the case in NYC.
    I was also hoping there might be a way to attract straight guys, but the straight crowd here is pretty out there sexually. I'm seeing guys fuck women and women giving blowjobs at the gay bars. I'm sure there are straight bars where there's activity as well. Point being, if the women are putting out, the horny straight guys don't need a gay guy to service them.
    So far I've gotten most of my loads at Saloon 1. I even got fucked right at the bar yesterday, though that seemed a bit too public so I took the guy to the outdoor patio to continue to fuck. But I've also gotten fucked on the top deck at New Orleans House / Bourbon Street Pub. And then my buddy and I had a gangbang early evening on Monday and Tuesday. The one on Monday went well – at least for me – I got 5 loads from 4 tops, my buddy wasn't so lucky (the guys who came were a mix of 1-on-1 guys for me, and gangbang sign ups that mostly wanted to play with me, not with my buddy). But then no one came to the gangbang the next day. Sunday night pretty much every guy that fucked me at Saloon 1 came in my ass (and pretty quickly too). But last night I had gotten fucked by 5 guys and still hadn't taken a load. Then they started happening in rapid succession. After the 3rd load this guy was fucking me and I guess he went too deep and my douche failed. I was really frustrated since I was on a roll, but had to go home at that point.
    Cleaning out has been difficult. Trying to clean out after a 3-4 hour plane flight plus a 3-4 hour drive isn't easy. I think I fucked up something in the process and my hole got really sore (in a bad way). The next day (particularly after the gangbang) I was so sore I was worried I might have to stop getting fucked, so I did take it a bit easy that evening when I went out "only" 3 dicks (and 2 loads). But last night things seemed a lot better, so hopefully those problems are behind me. But my diet is all fucked up. I'm basically just eating when I go home at night and then the next morning. So there's not a lot of food in there. And things aren't coming down normally. Yesterday I went to clean out and I was actually pretty much clean. I'd stick my long dildo up there and it kept coming out clean. So I invited a guy over, but he would up going to the wrong Hyatt. And just as we were figuring that out, more came out and I was actually sorta glad he hadn't come over. But then I checked and the dildo was continuing to come out clean. So it wasn't like that was part of something more. And then of course, things "failed" when I was actually out getting fucked. So yesterday was tough in that regard.
    One good thing about Key West is that it seems a lot of the guys are only into oral. So when I'm willing to get fucked I get a fair amount of attention. It's not like I'm competing with a million other bottoms who want cum in their ass. And the age skews pretty old here, so the bottoms I am competing with aren't hot young muscle guys – meaning I've got an actual chance to get loads. We'll see if that continues into the weekend though.
    Bottom line, I'm hoping things get a lot busier this weekend, and the soreness of my ass goes away completely, and I've gotten into a groove with douching – 'cause I really need a lot more cum in my ass!
  10. JakeTurner
    I skipped some days of PrEP last week, but when it came down to it this week, I took all my pills. Part of the reason is because I had a head cold this week (started with a scratchy throat Sunday night), and when I'm tired or otherwise not at 100% I tend to just go on autopilot which means going through the motions of what I'm supposed to be doing. So I took my pills. 
    And I was thinking of being a slut tomorrow and starting my slutty week a day early (and getting an early start to my week+ off PrEP), but I'm a little scared if I push myself too hard the cold will come roaring back and ruin my week (it's a day and a half from when I fly to Florida & I'm still coughing occasionally), so I'm just gonna take it easy. And since I'm not taking loads tomorrow, I'll just take my PrEP like normal. 
    So that means when I get to my #neg4poz gangbang next Sunday that will be day 8 off PrEP. In thinking about it, that's about the level of risk I'm comfortable with, so it's all good.
    If I weren't still a bit sick right now I'd be more excited about the trip. But I'm so run down my dick will barely get hard  Hopefully I'll be @ 100% by Sunday or at least Monday. I wanna have a good slutty week!
     
  11. JakeTurner
    This morning I was laying in bed jacking off to porn on my phone and I just had this intense urge to stop taking PrEP – to just be done with sitting on the fence and choose to actually be poz. I know if I go off it now there's a good chance I'll get pozzed when I'm in Key West & Ft. Lauderdale. I mean I'm advertising for toxic tops, so there's a greater chance risk will find me… 
    So my heart wants to be poz, but I think my rational side will prevail – at least to a point. I'll skip my pills today (as I have a few days in the past week), but then take it the next few days before leaving on the trip on Sunday (and leaving my pills in NYC). That'll give me at least minimal protection. But a big part of me is asking if I'm willing to go this far, why not go further?
    Then the question is how much PrEP I'll take when I get back from my trip. There's the question of the first day or two, and then what to do moving forward. We'll have to see what feels right at that point. I'm not sure there's any point in taking it the first day or two. I probably won't have having additional sex those days. Truvada is designed to stop HIV from infecting you, it's not designed to stop replication. So if I'm infected on the trip, I don't know that Truvada could stop the infection – just slow it down. But I do go in for my quarterly PrEP screening the day after I get back (including an HIV test)… Though I doubt that test would come back poz even if I were infected since it's so soon after exposure. 
    Right now I think I'll move forward with pretty minimal PrEP. I'm thinking never more than 2 days in a row. And only take it when I have sex. So if I've been a good cumdump and have taken anonymous loads (or loads from guys who I know little about) in the past 10 days, then I'll be allowed to take it the night before I have plans to take multiple anon loads. Otherwise just take it the night after taking a stranger's load, and the following day if I didn't take it the day before and I got multiple loads. So basically never more than 2 in a row, 0 pills for known fuck buds who are shooting blanks (undetectable or on PrEP), 1 pill after a single load, and 2 pills for multiple loads.
    I've also been thinking about my 50th birthday which is coming up in a month or two. There's a CumUnion party the night before. I'm thinking I'll go so I can ring in my birthday with a cummy ass. And no PrEP will be allowed for that night of sex (or a couple days before). After all, if someone wants to give me a birthday gift, taking PrEP would be like refusing their gift, which is sorta rude…  
  12. JakeTurner
    I went to a gangbang yesterday. I'm vers and love seeing cumdumps take anonymous loads, love the feel of a cummy hole on my dick, etc. Yeah, I wish I were the one taking the loads, but the next best thing is giving one to a hot cumdump.
    So I get there and there are already 3 other tops in the room. One of the tops (an older daddy) pulls out and lets another of the tops (a smooth muscular guy with a curved dick) fuck the bottom. Then that top pulls out and lets the 3rd top (a black guy) fuck the bottom. Then while he's fucking the bottom a 5th top joins the group. He's jacking his dick but having problems getting hard enough to fuck. When the black guy cums and pulls out, the new guy (who's still soft)  takes over the bottom despite the fact that there are 3 of us with rock hard dicks who are ready and willing to fuck the bottom. He starts rimming / felching the cumdump while the 3 of us are just standing there jacking rock hard cocks.
    That's a total no-no in gangbang etiquette – the most ready person is the one who fucks the bottom, and if guys are equally ready, the one who hasn't had a chance to fuck the bottom (recently) gets to fuck. You absolutely don't monopolize the bottom's hole when you're not ready to fuck. The bottom is there to get loads, not there to get felched. (Or at least be really quick about it).
    The smooth muscle guy starts playing with the daddy, aiming the daddy's dick at his ass. I don't think they actually fuck though. Meanwhile the smooth guy is playing with my dick and starts rubbing his ass on my dick. Since the bottom was busy getting rimmed / felched by the guy with the soft dick, I stick my dick up the smooth guy's ass. I had no intention of giving him a proper fucking, and definitely not a load – that was reserved for the gangbang bottom, but it was nice to get my dick wet – even if it's not in the gangbang bottom's ass. 
    Then the daddy starts playing with my ass. He's taller than me, and the smooth guy is shorter, so I have to get on my toes a bit to get the daddy's cock in my ass (good thing I cleaned out before going). That sorta pulls my dick out of the smooth muscle guy. The daddy isn't in me but a couple of seconds when the guy with the soft dick finally lets one of us take a turn. I need to run and I knew I'd cum quickly, and I was the only one in the room who hadn't had a chance to fuck the bottom, so I stepped forward and I blew my load in under a dozen strokes.
    All I could think about was that I wanted to be a poz cumdump like the guy I was fucking. There are times when I'm a good cumdump, but I don't get anywhere near the number of loads that guy gets. He's younger (can't do anything about that), and has a better body (that I'm working on) so more guys wanna fuck him. And he's poz… There's something 
    After I was done one of other tops stepped forward and fucked the bottom. My dick refused to go down, so I slipped it in smooth muscle guy again for a few strokes and then went on my way. I needed to get to the gym and then get to a bar to have drinks with friends. 
    You'd think the story would end there, but I'm at the gym doing my first set of hammer curls and I feel a bit of a wetness like water was coming down from when I douched. But I didn't douche all that deeply, so I was a bit confused. I finished all 3 sets of hammer curls and went to the bathroom. I wipe and I get a clear viscous fluid. I smell and I'm 90% sure it was cum! So the daddy managed to breed me for the few seconds he was in there! That was an unexpected (pleasant) surprise. 
    Now I think it's bad etiquette for the daddy to have bred me unless he had already given a load to the cumdump. Even if it was his second load it probably should have gone in the cumdump, but the cumdump was busy (sorta – a more take-charge top would have pushed the soft dick guy aside and given a 2nd load to the cumdump). Maybe it was bad form for me and the smooth muscle guy to get fucked, but we were just killing time waiting for the limp dick guy to get done hogging the bottom. I would never have cum in the smooth guy, so I feel like what I did wasn't all that horrible. 
    The gangbang bottom managed to get 40 loads after just 4 hours, so none of the etiquette failures mattered this time around. I gotta say I'm totally jealous. I want to be just like him – fitter / more muscular, and maybe even poz! ?
  13. JakeTurner
    So I started taking random loads before PrEP came out. And then just around the time that it was approved by the FDA was when I finally got comfortable with the idea of being a cumdump, taking any and all loads, and eventually getting pozzed. I went to a few sex parties, bent over and took loads from anyone who'd fuck me. But then I realized I could be a cumdump and stay neg if I went on PrEP, so that's what I did. That was the spring of 2013 – nearly 5 years ago now. 
    But I gotta say there's something really anti-climatic about PrEP. I miss the risk – whether I'm taking the risk or the bottom I'm fucking is taking it. And honestly, when you get to the point where you're OK with converting, that grows on you over time to the point where now I actually want to be poz. I'm not to the point of actively chasing – more like I want to take significant, calculated risks.
    A few weeks ago I saw an article on Poz.com that, among other things, mentioned that there was still >90% protection a week after people stop taking PrEP. That got me thinking… I had a trip scheduled to Key West at the end of October – maybe I should just not take any PrEP with me. I'd be down there for 8 days. So based on the data, that means I'll still have about 90% coverage. BUT, even now, I don't take PrEP every day. So my protection will be a bit less. And it turns me on that I don't know how much less. 
    My goal for that week is to get 100 loads of cum up my ass. Give at least one load a day. And manage to get a fist up my ass. (And workout, go to the nude beach, etc.) Basically I'm there to be a slut. I'm a little worried about the 100 load goal, so I might start my week early by going to a bathhouse the day before I leave. In that case if I can get at least 5 loads at the bathhouse, I'll skip PrEP that day too. That put me up to 9 days skipped. And then I was thinking if I've taken PrEP within 24 hours of having sex, then I'm not really "off PrEP" when I'm taking those loads. So I'm tempted to skip another day, but I'm thinking 10 days is more risk than I'm comfortable with. 
    On top of that I posted a #neg4poz gangbang party ad on BBRT for the last night of the trip (in Ft. Lauderdale). I'm telling guys to pretend their toxic even if they aren't so I don't really know what I'm getting up my ass. I figure that should give some anonymity to the tops who really are toxic. If there's lots of poz talk and everyone is saying they're blowing a toxic load and infecting me, then the truly toxic tops can mix into that and there's plausible deniability for them – that they're lying just like everyone else.
    But the idea of taking toxic loads when I'm 8 or 9 days off PrEP is both a turn on and a worry. A small part of me is saying "life is good, why are you doing this?" but the bigger part of me is just sorta numb and wanting it to happen. I want this to be a reoccurring thing – once or twice a year I go somewhere to be a slut and don't take my PrEP with me. 
    I'm in the 2 week period before going where I should be taking Truvada every day and getting my serum drug levels up. But I've already skipped a day or two. I'm telling myself I only get PrEP when I do significant exercise (a half hour + of weights or cycling). But the last 4-5 days I will take it every day regardless. 
    So the plan is in motion. Who knows? Maybe in a month I'll have fuck flu. But more likely I'll still be neg. I like not knowing… 
    [I'll try to keep blogging during this whole adventure. I want to log my thoughts and feelings…]
  14. JakeTurner
    Yesterday I hooked up with this Middle Eastern cub who'd bred me on two occasions with me bent over toilets at the Eagle. I love bottoming for him because he gave me two loads on both occasions. This time he came to my place. I was hoping to take some loads before he got there, but didn't manage to find anyone to breed me.
    I'm still trying to figure this top out. Not sure if he likes intimate/connected sex or more anonymous sex. He likes kissing, but while he's fucking me he seems to like to treat me like just a hole. At the Eagle you can't exactly throw your legs in the air in a toilet stall - so the sex was always pretty anonymous, and that's how we started yesterday. But then I flipped over and threw my legs in the air. But then at one point he put my feet together in front of his face - made me wonder if he didn't really like eye contact when he fucks.
    At the Eagle you've got to make things pretty quick 'cause security might come, so I wondered whether he'd be quick in a more private setting as well. He did take more time - not a long time, but he fucked me for maybe 10 minutes before blowing his load in me the first time. Then we laid on the bed and made out which didn't last long - soon I was sucking him - getting him hard for round 2 - since I know he can cum twice and I wanted the extra load.
    The second load took a lot longer to cum in fact at one point he took a break from fucking me and gave me a bit of a massage - though that soon turned into a massage of my prostate with his cock. Eventually he had me legs up and was pounding my ass pretty fast. I can tell when he's about to cum 'cause he fucks faster and faster and more intently. The only problem was he was hitting something in me that really hurt. I was actually debating telling him to change position or slow down but I figured he was close - and I was right. A moment later he dumped the second load in me. I was just glad the pain was over and that I'd gotten the load.
    So then we laid on the bed some more and at one point he got on his belly and made it clear he wanted me to give him a massage or something (I wasn't exactly sure). The massage was difficult because he wasn't oiled up, so then I started playing with his ass just to see his reaction and his ass started to rise up to meet my fingers. Hmmm...
    So then I started rimming him. He seemed to like that - he had given me a pretty long rim job before fucking me. I was a little worried he wouldn't be all that clean since he came as a top, not a bottom, but he seemed pretty clean. As I rimmed him I jacked my cock and when I was hard enough I repositioned him on the bed and started pushing my dick in his hole. He was really tight. I wasn't 100% hard which was good because it meant my cock was a little smaller. I did finally sorta get in. He was tight as hell. I really don't think he gets fucked much at all.
    I couldn't quite get the right position so wasn't getting 100% hard. Then when I slipped out at one point I went back to fingering his ass - this time with multiple fingers trying to loosen him up. The whole time he was just sorta being "compliant". He seemed to want it, but also be apprehensive or something.
    When I got back in his ass the second time my goal was to give him a load. After all, I'd gotten 6 from him so far (over the 3 encounters), so it was time he got one of mine. I gotta say it was a huge turn on to be fucking a top when the top knew from experience that I'm the type of guy who will just bend over for completely anonymous cock in a bar. But there I was with my raw dick in his ass. Since I was in bottom mode (for the most part) my cock never did get 100% hard, but it got close, and it wasn't long before I felt the cum churning in my balls and then I blew my load in his ass.
    So the top took a load from a cumdump bottom!
    Afterwards we laid there for a bit and then he got up and went to the bathroom and tried to push out my load. I heard the toilet flush 3 times. But when he came back in the room he didn't seem freaked out or anything… And the next day he's still talking to me and wants to hookup again…
    Oh - one other thing… We've never discussed status. I tried to bring it up once in a text after the first time we met and he just changed the subject. His English isn't all that great and he hasn't been in the US all that long, and I doubt gay sex ed is all that great in Arab countries - makes you wonder how much he knows and what his status is - or whether he even knows his status…
  15. JakeTurner
    A month or so ago my best friend let it slip that I was bottoming one night when he was drunk. My bf was pissed and there were some really tense moments. Then he calmed down. So I laid off sex for a little while - didn't want to fan the flames too much.
    But since he knew I figured I could be more open about it, a bit over a week ago now was Folsom Street East. Before we went I tried to clean out, but as it turned out I cleaned too deep and by the time I got there I was slightly messy again - so getting fucked wasn't really an option. He kept a pretty tight leash on me though that night. Then a few days ago we went to the Eagle again for Pride. I cleaned out really well this time - even told him I was doing it and he was OK with it. I wanted him to fuck me before we went, but he said it would kill his sexual energy.
    I was clean as a whistle this time and determined to get fucked. We went a little later so we'd be there when guys started getting frisky. The normal places (the bathroom and a back corner) were really difficult and there didn't seem like much sex to be had. But when I went down to the first floor this hot little Latino cub started flirting with me. He pulled out his uncut dick and I jacked him until he got hard. Then I sorta turned a bit so he had better access to my ass and he took the hint and started fingering me. I pulled out a little bottle of lube, lubed up my hole and lined my ass up with his dick and in he went.
    The game you play at the Eagle is to pretend you're not fucking so security will leave you alone. So I was standing there (not bent over) and he was shoving his dick in and out of my hole. Problem was that I have a beefy ass and his dick was "average" in length, so he'd slip out pretty frequently and couldn't really fuck me properly. I told him I wanted his load, but he said he couldn't cum in that position - he wished he could get me with my legs up.
    That went on for a while and my bf passed by a couple times while that was happening. I couldn't tell whether he was OK with it or not. When it ended I went around looking for him and when I found him he seemed happy and was flirting with a couple guys who were his type. So I went off looking for more dick.
    I wasn't having much luck so I was in the process of heading up to the roof to check on my bf when I ran into this hot Middle Eastern guy who'd fucked me at the Eagle 6 months ago. As soon as he saw me he was all over me. Funny part was he didn't remember fucking me previously. I had to remind him and then he had no recollection. Anyway, last time he fucked me he managed to give me two loads and the same thing happened this time as well.
    By the time we were done I was overdue to find my bf and when I looked at my phone it turns out he couldn't find me and had left in a bit of a huff and gone home. It took a little work to get him to open up - he was upset and embarrassed that I was getting fucked in public. But I've done stuff like that as a top before - the only difference was this time I was the bottom. I tried not to fan any flames, and eventually he calmed down and apologized. In hindsight part of the problem might have been that he was drinking and did a little Coke with a friend of ours - that couldn't have helped his state of mind.
    Then last night a few guys came over to shoot a porn video for a well-known studio. The top had performance issues so we called it quits and sat around with some of the guys talking and drinking beer. The last one to leave was this young, cute little otter who was completely forward sexually. He suggested going out to the roof deck and jacking off. So off we went.
    I haven't done a 3way with my bf in YEARS - they just never went all that well in the past. Because we were a bit on display this one was rather quick. The little otter started jacking his nice sized dick and then my bf went down on him. When he stopped the otter continued jacking and I told him "I don't want you to waste your load - jack off and then insert the tip of your dick in my ass when you cum." Took him a little time to figure out what I was asking, but a minute later his orgasm was coming and he did exactly what I asked and I got a nice sized load up my ass - right in front of my bf!
    It felt really good being able to have my bf see me take a load. He still hasn't fucked me - that's frustrating and I don't know if it'll change. I think I'm too much of a whore for him - he's afraid of STDs or something. My goal is to start getting his loads as well. He jacks off once or twice a day - his loads are always pretty small, but I'd still like them up my ass rather than wasted on his belly.
    So slow, steady progress - even if it's a bit precarious…
  16. JakeTurner
    I've been worried that my hole would rip with big dicks - it seemed to happen back in January and I have a history of having a fissure, but last week I took two huge cocks no problem, so it looks like my ass is going to be OK.
    First was a muscular black fuckbuddy of mine. His dick is 10", possibly 10 1/2" and thick. The good part is that he's pretty gentle - he knows he's big and can do damage. He really likes going deep - and that hurt like hell, but I wasn't worried about him doing damage going deep. It was more what he might do to my hole.
    Not sure exactly why, but he seemed to be completely in love with my hole. Something about it felt really good on his dick. But as he got harder and longer he was hitting some really painful parts of my ass. I put my hand down between him and my ass to try to make it so he didn't go in so deep, but that didn't help much. Finally he pushed in as far as he could go and blew his load in my hole.
    While he was fucking me another top texted me saying he wanted to come over. I took 15 seconds and replied and told him to come over. The first top was barely gone 5 min when the second top showed up. He's fucked me a couple times a long time ago and the way he fucks is rather brutal. He's not gentle in the least. His dick is a good 9 to 9 1/2" and rock hard (the black guy's was more spongey - so it felt better).
    Luckily he was in a rush so he didn't take very long. I mean getting fucked by him is like an endurance challenge. But he also seems really enchanted by my hole - and so I put up with the pain to get his load. Like the first top, he pushed in as far as he could go when he blew his load in my ass.
    I should mention that both of the tops are really hot and muscular. It's another reason why I put up with the pain of getting fucked by them - it's a turn on to get fucked by them, even if it's painful.
    I'm still being careful, and I'm stretching my hole with a butt plug from time to time. I seem to be getting looser. Hopefully I'll get loose enough that I can take all but the biggest monster cocks. Would be nice not to have to worry about doing damage to my ass every time I get fucked.
  17. JakeTurner
    I've been worried about my hole. I've had a fissure on and off for years, but maybe a year ago I decided to see a colorectal surgeon to get it fixed properly. She managed to get it healed just using creams, but I wasn't quite confident that everything was OK. Late last year it did reopen a bit, so I took the creams again. When it seemed healed up I went to a sex party and the first guy to fuck me was this black guy with a huge, rock hard cock. He wasn't gentle and I could feel it ripping as he shoved in. Two seconds later I ended it telling him I just couldn't take a dick that big. I got fucked by some other guys at the party, but the black guy had fucked up my hole.
    So after a few days of trying to push it, I decided to take it easy. I used the cream for a few weeks and it seemed better. I figured I'd try to stretch my hole myself - taking it easy and just building up a tolerance for size so when a big dick shoved in hard in the future he wouldn't do damage. Problem was I was missing a butt plug that gave me a good stretch without going too far. I tried a medium Pig Hole that I have to use on bottoms when I top. I could get it in (with a lot of effort), but it was too big. By the time I pulled it out it usually did some damage.
    So I got a small Butt Hole which was better, but the first few times I used it was really hard to get it up there and it also seemed to do some damage - but far less than the medium Pig Hole. But every time I used it I'd be sore the day after.
    Finally I said "enough" and made another appointment with my colorectal surgeon. She's a straight Indian woman. I wasn't sure how she was going to take a discussion of getting fucked and playing with toys, but after some initial awkwardness on my part it was clear it was a conversation she's had many times with many patients (she's a butt doctor in a relatively gay neighborhood - Hell's Kitchen).
    When she examined me at first she thought she saw a fissure, but then she said it just looked like some sort of abrasion - like a rug burn. I had gotten comfortable with the idea of getting surgery to loosen things up, but then realized maybe I didn't need it after all. So later that day when one of my vers fuck buds hit me up I cancelled plans with a bottom to go swap loads with my bud.
    Problem was, when I got there I went into the bathroom and checked my douche and I wasn't 100% clean. In the past he's jacked off and pushed in when he came, so after I fucked him I suggested that and told him I wasn't completely clean. But he kept pushing in and really liked how my hole felt on his dick, so he decided to just fuck me even if I wasn't completely clean.
    He tried to be gentle, but that's easier said than done for him since he's got a thick 10" dick! Honestly I was amazed I could take it. It only really hurt when he "hit bottom" (my "2nd sphincter"). Most of the time I just felt incredibly full. He actually fucked me for quite a while before blowing his load deep inside me.
    So taking his big black cock gave me some confidence. If there's no actual tear, I'm going to keep trying to stretch things so I get looser. I'm already noticing a change. The small Butt Hole used to be difficult to get in my ass. Now I can get it in pretty easily - it's just it gets really sore after about an hour. I can see where my ass might be getting abraded by it, but if that's all that's happening that'll get better.
    My hole is getting looser, so I'm hoping I won't need surgery. It would be really cool if I could get to the point where I could take just about any dick. I know I'm starting late, but I really wanna be one of those bottoms who takes 100 or 200 loads in a year.
  18. JakeTurner

    Only 6 Loads… :(

    By JakeTurner,

    So my week of being a slut wasn't so slutty after all. I only got 6 loads.
    It started off slow with a sex party where I got fucked by 3 guys and got 2 loads. Then the next day my hole was pretty sore from the one guy with the massive dick. I don't bottom all that much and I think he may have caused a little damage. So I pretty much took the day off the next day.
    But I did go over to this one guy's place the next evening for a load. He was this poz hairy cub. As I was sucking him his dick didn't seem all that huge though it was fairly thick. When he went to fuck me it hurt like hell. He could tell he was hurting me and asked "is that good pain or bad pain?" When I said "bad pain" he backed off a little. But I wasn't telling him to stop. I wanted his load. Luckily he came pretty quickly. The nice part was it was a massive load, as I was walking away from his place it started leaking of my ass and running down my legs.
    I thought about trying out some bookstores, but bookstores have never been my thing and the parts with cover charges where things get good I wasn't confident enough that they'd be decent to shell out the $10. So I just went home and watched TV.
    The next night I wanted to go to a sex party. I wanted to arrive with one or more loads in me and I did manage to find this guy to come over. At one point I thought he had stood me up, but he did eventually come and he was this cute Latino. It was pretty enjoyable and I did get his load.
    Problem was, the sex party sucked. Hardly anyone was there and the guys who were there either didn't want to bareback or weren't into me. I did manage to get fucked by 3 guys and get one load, but I think the load was pretty small. The guy who gave me the load looked black, but had a hispanic-sounding name. Another guy was this bald light skinned black guy. Problem was I could feel my hole tearing as he fucked me. It wasn't so bad that I told him to stop, but it worried me a little. The party was so lame I had to get one of the other bottoms to fuck me. He had this tiny dick. At times I could barely feel him in me (and that's saying a lot given how sore my hole was).
    After the sex party I went over to the hairy cub's place and he gave me another load. So I did get three loads that day. But once again I was in a lot of pain when he was fucking me.
    I've got another night that I could go out and get fucked, but with my hole so sore I don't think it's a good idea. It needs some rest and to heal. Too bad the sex parties weren't better and too bad I don't have more endurance as a bottom…
  19. JakeTurner
    This was supposed to be my week to be a slut. My boyfriend is out of town, so I'm on my own to do as I please. At the same time I need to get some work done, etc. So while I'd like to spend all day getting fucked, I figured I'd just do stuff in the evenings.
    Last night I went to the party at Paddles. It started out really great. The second guy I played around with was this "very poz looking" daddy. Pretty quickly I pulled him over to the fuck bench, lubed up my hole, and aimed his hard cock at my ass. He had to go slow at first because I hadn't been fucked in months, but after a minute or two I got used to it.
    It felt good to bend over for poz dick and when he heard me saying "Gimme that load" and "Breed me" that turned him on and before long he was unloading a HUGE load in my ass. Neither one of us wanted him to pull out. But when he did cum was running down my leg and there was a puddle of cum on the bench. Mind you, I had put about 6 or 7 loads of frozen cum up my ass before going out - but still I think I got a nice big load from him.
    The next guy to fuck me was this black guy with a HUGE dick. He tried to get in for like 10 seconds before I had to stop him. I just couldn't take it. My ass felt weird for 10 of 15 minutes after that.
    At one point I saw this safe sex top throw a condom in the corner after finishing with a bottom. I went over and inspected the condom and it had a small load in it, so I shoved the condom up my ass and dumped out the contents.
    Then later there was this average guy standing around. I started playing with him and eventually got him to fuck me. He LOVED my hole (probably 'cause it was so cummy). He fucked me for what seemed like forever - must have been 15 or 20 minutes of solid fucking. Luckily he wasn't too big so fucking for so long wasn't a problem.
    Finally I asked him if he was going to give me a load and he got pretty worked up and blew a big load in me. Once again cum was pouring out of my ass and down my leg when I was done. It was hot - made me feel like a slut.
    All in all the party was more oral and jacking than fucking which was disappointing. I really wanted more dick, but was happy that I got two loads out of 3 fucks. Actually it was more like 2 fucks since the one fuck didn't last long. Usually I only get a load out of every 3 fucks when I'm at sex parties.
    After Paddles I went to the Eagle. It was pretty active, but the only guy who wanted to fuck me had one of the most massive dicks I've ever seen. There was simply no way that was going to happen. Another guy seemed sorta interested, but when I realized he had a frenum piercing in his dick (that he didn't want to take out), he wasn't an option either.
    I was really hoping for more dick and loads, but it is what it is.
  20. JakeTurner

    Year End Load Tallies

    By JakeTurner,

    Prior to 2013 I had only taken a total of 18 loads and most of those were in 2010 when I took 14 loads. 2013 became the year when I started taking loads in earnest. I got a total of 49 loads pumped up my ass this year, plus 9 others that I got up my ass through other means - like dumping loads from used condoms into my ass.
    Let's see… other stats… I bottomed on 36 occasions - usually 1-on-1, but also went to a few sex parties and small groups. Since sex parties were involved I had 65 guys fuck me who had never fucked me before (that I can remember), and of the 49 loads 36 were loads from new guys.
    My ass has been out of commission the past couple months because a fissure reopened. It's just about healed so mid-January I'm going to whore out and see if I can beat those numbers all in one week. I want to be a lot more aggressive about taking loads this year - get at least 100 in me, preferably 200.
  21. JakeTurner
    Was in one of my rare moods to bottom yesterday. Long story short I'm more of a top, but I've been experimenting with bottoming. In the past my "experimentation" has helped me figure out that 1) I really don't like bottoming for ugly guys - at least not 1-on-1. 2) I like quick fucks, not long ones. I'm just not built for long fuck sessions. 3) If I'm not going to get multiple loads, I can't really be bothered to clean out. I mean a hour of cleaning out in the hope of getting 15-20 minutes of fucking just doesn't seem worth it. And yesterday I figured out 4) that I'm not a gangbang bottom…
    I wasn't sure whether I wanted to bother with bottoming yesterday, but there were a few guys interested, so I cleaned out. But then getting people to follow through was an issue. One guy who's usually really dependable just disappeared online. Another guy didn't get back to me until later saying something came up. One guy did come through but then it turned out that he lived way up in the Bronx. It seemed like it was that or nothing, so I said yes.
    Then he said there were a couple other guys coming over. I asked if they were partying, he said only 420, so I was OK with it, but a little apprehensive.
    Right when I was about to leave this other older black guy contacted me. He said he was up for a quickie. He had fucked me once before - I thought he still lived in the neighborhood so I asked the first guy if I could come a half hour later and he said OK. But then it turned out the second guy had moved - but he had moved to the Bronx, so I figured I'd stop at his place on my way to the other guy.
    I get to the guy's place and when he took off his clothes I remembered why it'd been a while since I'd hooked up with him - he's just not that attractive. But I was there, he wasn't awful or anything, it wasn't going to take long, and I was going to get a load out of it. So I got down on my knees and started sucking him.
    When he got hard we got down to fucking. First with me on all fours. I hadn't been fucked in months and since I wasn't topping I didn't take Cialis, so I figured it would be safe to try poppers, but even with the poppers it hurt like hell going in. But he was patient and I got used to it, but then when he went back at it his dick really swelled and got considerably bigger and I was in pain again. So I did some more poppers and he slowed down until I was more or less used to it. (All in all the poppers didn't help much).
    Doggy wasn't really the best position for him, so he got me flat on my stomach and fucked me that way. It felt like he was going in an out of my hole with every stroke. A few times he actually popped out and had to reposition to get it back in. I pushed my ass up just a little to where it seemed like he was hitting my hole the best and then kept it there.
    I kept telling him "Breed me", "Cum in my hole", etc. to encourage him to blow his load, and pretty soon I could hear his breathing change and then he pushed in deep and unloaded what seemed like a big load deep in my ass.
    When he pulled out my ass was all cummy. He asked if I wanted to clean up, but I figured it would be cool to show up at the other guy's place with a cummy hole, so I just got dressed and left.
    When I got to the next guy's place all three of them were there, naked. The host was a lean, medium height black guy. One of the other guests was this big beefy black guy with a huge dick, and the other guy was a white guy who seemed like a sub bottom - though the host had said everyone was vers.
    I took a piss and then got busy sucking the host's dick. He was soft and pretty small (a grower, not a shower). His dick didn't really respond to my sucking it. I wondered if he had already cum. He told me to suck the other black guy. I did, but honestly the big black guy didn't seem all that into me.
    Then the host decided I needed to get fucked, but he wasn't hard enough (still), so he told the other black guy to fuck me. That guy's dick must have been 10" and thick. I was worried. Thing was, he wasn't fully hard. He shoved it in me and it was so spongey there really wasn't a problem taking it. The problem was keeping it in. The top was watching porn on the TV constantly. Honestly he didn't seem to care whether I was there or not. I was just a sensation on his dick as he imagined himself the black top in the video fucking the white bottom. It was actually pretty bad sex. He wasn't hard, he wasn't into me, etc.
    Then the host decided to fuck me. At least he was into me. But his dick wasn't consistently hard. I asked if he had cum earlier and he said "a little". So basically no one there was really ready to cum. I'm not good with long fucks. I'm just not that good of a bottom - I find them painful. I endure getting fucked if I think the top will cum in the next few minutes. I'm in it for the load more than the fuck - but these guys clearly couldn't cum - so I started hating being there, but I was trapped under them with their dick in me.
    Then the host took a break and had the big black guy fuck me some more. Actually I wouldn't quite call it fucking me. He just sorta held his dick in me and rocked back and forth. The white guy told me I needed to ask for it if I wanted to get it. So I started saying things like "Breed Me", "Give me that load", "Flood that hole", "Knock me up", etc. but none of it made any difference. I started wondering how in the hell I could get out of there.
    At one point I moved slightly and the top had a hard time keeping his dick in me, so I took the opportunity to move more to make it clear I was done with him fucking me. Problem was the host then wanted to fuck me. He sat on the couch and told me to sit on him. I did, but that's a position where I'd have to really work to get the load IF he were up for cumming and he wasn't, so what was the point of working at it? I tried sitting the other direction with my back to him - same deal.
    Finally I told the host I had to go soon. We tried fucking a little more, but finally I just said I had to go and started putting on my clothes.
    All in all it was sort of a lame evening. I did get one load, but wasn't really into that top, and then the sex was just lame with the other guys. Guess you win some and lose some.
    One thing I did realize was how similar the situation was to a gangbang where you have to take the dick whether you're enjoying it or not. Made me realize I'm not a gangbang bottom. I do like getting fucked by a lot of guys - but more in a sex party situation where I can roam from guy to guy and end things easily when they're not working out. Problem with sex parties is that you usually don't get a load - at parties I only get the load 1 out of every 3 or 4 times I get fucked. So need to experiment more to figure out how to get lots of loads
  23. JakeTurner
    Was looking for loads this afternoon. There's one guy who is really dependable so I texted him and he texted right back with a time. Never any question with him - he seems to really like my ass He's not very attractive, but he's a dependable fuck who always comes through with a load.
    He got here and I was naked by the time we walked to the bedroom (he likes it when I walk around, open the door, etc. naked). He had actually suggested fucking outdoors, but there was no place we could do that without being seen by the neighbors.
    Like usual he was hard even before he took off his clothes. There's no need for foreplay with him, so I just lubed up my hole and his dick and got on all fours on the bed. I guided his dick to my hole and he shoved in. He's not very big but I hadn't been fucked in over two weeks so it took me a second to adjust to him. He went slow until I was completely adjusted to it and then picked up the pace a bit.
    Usually he cums as quick as he can, but today he took his time. I kept being verbal trying to egg him on and to cum in my ass. He's told me he's poz and not on meds so kept telling him I wanted him to knock me up with his poz load - stuff like that.
    Finally I felt him push in and hold it and I knew I was getting his load. He told me afterwards it was a big load - that he hadn't cum in two days. I can feel it trying to get out my ass as I write this...
    I need to find other guys who can be dependable regulars. Looks like he might be the only load I get this afternoon and I want more
  24. JakeTurner
    Since my boyfriend doesn't know I get fucked and take loads, my ability to hookup has been pretty hit or miss. This weekend he was doing something with a friend and I had some time to myself, so I figured I'd make the most of it. I lined up a couple tops to come over and fuck me and then wanted to take my cummy ass to a sex party.
    One of the tops kept delaying when he said he'd be there so I canceled with him. The other top was this average Latino guy. He got here, we stripped down and I sucked him until he got hard. He didn't have a very big dick, but provided it's not too small, I actually prefer smaller cocks. I'm not a power bottom and smaller cocks just feel better in my ass. Once he was hard I got up on all fours on the bed and he started fucking me. He seemed to like me being verbal so I kept telling him to breed me and cum in my ass. He responded saying he was gonna fuck me for a while and build up a nice big load, but then like a minute or two later he started blowing his 3 day load up my ass. I don't usually feel it when a top cums, but I could feel his dick pulsing in my ass as shot after shot of cum went up my hole. A few minutes later he was dressed and gone. The whole hookup probably took less than 10 minutes - pretty much perfect in my book.
    A couple minutes after he left I was out the door headed to the sex party. I got there and was one of the first guys there, but there were enough guys that I didn't feel like I was the only one there. The first guy I played with was a rather average older guy with a decent body. He didn't have the biggest dick, but as I mentioned that was more than fine with me. He was rock hard so I suggested he fuck me but he said he was a bottom. I said bottoms can fuck too - but he didn't seem interested and moved on. (It's not like he was doing anything else at that moment...)
    I walked around a bit and then started playing with this one short little hairy daddy type. His cock was big thick and pretty hard. I got down and started sucking it and it went completely hard pretty quickly. The damn thing was super thick though. I got up, lubed my hole and the dick and impaled myself on that monster. I was clearly in pain from how big of a dick it was. A good top would have let me adjust, but this guy started jackhammering my ass. I just couldn't take it and pulled off. I told him I'd need to get warmed up with smaller dicks before taking one as big as him. Later I figured out he was actually a bottom - but since not much was going on he had fucked me.
    Then some hot young guys started showing up but they mostly just hung out with each other and weren't too interested in those of us who were older and more average looking. I sucked a few guys only to learn that they wanted to rubber up to fuck (it wasn't exclusively a bb party). I knew there was a good chance the party was going to start pretty slow, but it was frustrating nonetheless. I started thinking maybe I should have had that second top come over - even if he was a little late - it's not like much was happening so far at the party.
    Then another wave of guys showed up and one of them was totally into me - he told me later he thought I was the hottest guy there. We played around a bit - kissing, sucking, sniffing, etc. but after all that he tells me he only fucks (and gets fucked) with rubbers. Ugh. There was another guy near us - an older in-shape daddy type with a great dick, so I just started focusing on him - hoping he would want to fuck me. But he didn't seem like he wanted to fuck, which is too bad 'cause he had a nice hard cock...
    I tried sucking and then backing my ass onto a few cocks, but didn't manage to get properly fucked. Then I ran into the safe sex guy again. I wasn't doing anything else, so I figured I'd play around with him. I did finally manage to convince him I was neg and it was OK to bareback me, but he said he wasn't going to fuck me properly. He put it in and fucked slowly for a minute or two and then stopped. At least it was something. Then he told me to go off and find my bareback top.
    It was almost like the safe sex guy saying it made it happen. I walked a few feet into the next room and there was this average, cute, stocky guy who looked like he wasn't quite sure of himself but was horny. I got down and started sucking him and then got him to go over to the fuck bench with me where he proceeded to fuck me properly and blow his load up my ass. Needless to say that put me in a good mood.
    I wandered around a little more and came across one of the young hot jocks who was leaning against a wall jacking his thin, curved, uncut cock. I approached cautiously not sure if he'd be into me, but he didn't say no. Then I sucked his dick a bit. I'd seen him bottoming for a few of the other jocks, so I was a little surprised when he was OK with it when I backed myself onto his raw cock. I bent over and let him fuck me, but I didn't have anything to hang onto and my legs were getting tired. So I got him to go over to a medical exam table where I bent over and he proceeded to fuck my cummy hole really good. I told him to breed me and cum in my hole. He didn't seem to understand and so he asked me what I said, and I repeated it. Unfortunately he must have thought I said don't cum in my ass 'cause a few minutes later he pulled out when he came. I was really disappointed and tried to push as much of it as I could into my hole. I'm still counting it as a load though... Even though it wasn't a full load.
    I wandered around some more, and found a hot black top over by the fuck bench. He had this super hard tapered cock which I got down and started sucking on. There was zero interaction with him - he didn't even touch me so I wasn't sure if he was into me or not. I turned around and backed myself onto his cock and bent over and he started fucking me. That wasn't very comfortable so I pulled him over to the fuck bench and bent over. Unfortunately there was someone using the fuck bench already, so all I could do is prop myself on the corner - but at least it was something to lean against. The black guy was relentless and his cock was super hard and long. Every time he went deep it was just incredibly painful. He kept fucking and fucking but eventually I got the sense he had no plans on cumming. There was this one point where he changed his pace and sorta held his dick inside me - I thought he was cumming at that point, so I waited a bit and then started standing up. He pulled out and just disappeared...
    I walked around a bit more and at one point I started sucking on this guys dick only to realize it was the same black guy who was fucking me a little earlier. I hadn't really seen him all that closely - so it was sorta funny I didn't recognize a guy who had had his dick in me 15-20 min earlier.
    I walked around some more and then saw the same black guy in another area. Then the black guy wanted to fuck again. We started in one area, but it was so painful I figured I'd try another position, so I got on my back on the exam table with my legs in the air - but he kept going super deep and causing really sharp pains. I'd push him back with my hand when that happened, he'd back off a little and then start slamming in deep again. Finally I just had to tell him to stop.
    Then I saw another average, but attractive stocky guy. Sucked him a bit and then bent over the medical examining table and let him fuck me. It was a good fuck and felt pretty good too. I saw the black guy watching - so he got the message that I can take a good fuck when it's not too painful. The guy fucking me gave me a load and then I took a little break.
    By this point it felt like the black guy was practically following me around. I think he was obsessed with my ass. I bent over the examining table for him yet again. And yet again it was incredibly painful. I put up with as much as I could but when I asked if there was a chance he'd be cumming and he said 'no', I gave up and told him I just wasn't that good of a bottom.
    I wandered around for another 20-30 minutes but didn't get much action. No new guys were arriving, a few guys were leaving, and I didn't see many candidates to fuck me. There was this one Asian guy who really wanted to fuck me but he always wanted to rubber up. Finally at one point when I was giving a blowjob to this Latino he came up behind me and started fucking me. I reached back and felt - no condom! He fucked for a bit - it must have felt really nice and cummy, then he pushed in, held it there like he was cumming, and then pulled out and ran off to the bathroom to wash off his cock. When he came out I asked him if he came and he said no, but I don't quite believe him 'cause right after that he got dressed and left. So that might have been a 5th load of the day - I'm not sure.
    I took a few more strolls around the club, but didn't see any tops who I thought would be interested in fucking me (the black guy was pounding some white bottom who could take his dick pretty easily), so I got my stuff and started getting dressed. As I was getting dressed the black top came up and wanted to keep in touch. The only issue with that is I can't take his dick and he doesn't live very close. But he seemed really into me - which I gotta say was an ego boost.
    Later that night I was doing a pretty good job of keeping all the loads in my ass, but then at one point I had this really huge sneeze and that forced a whole bunch of cum out of my ass and made my jeans wet. Luckily the jeans were dark and I was wearing underwear (in case that happened) - so no one noticed.
  25. JakeTurner
    A month or two ago I did a couple weekends where I took a bunch of loads. Didn't actually get as many as I hoped. In one case I sorta got sick half way through the weekend. In the other case I just took it easy and didn't push too much. Then there was a month or so where I didn't get fucked at all. But today I figured I'd get back in the swing of things and take some more loads.
    First load was from a hot fuckbuddy of mine. We've been fucking for a while now but time before last was over one of those weekends and I let him fuck me and give me a load. He's really hot and I'm totally into him. He was actually a little disappointed I wouldn't let him fuck me last time we fucked - after being a sub bottom for me so many times it was sorta cute how disappointed he was.
    Thing is, in all the times we've fucked we've never discussed HIV status. His A4A profile says neg but his BBRT profile just says "Ask Me". I don't believe he's neg and I don't have any clue whether he's on meds or not - or whether he's even been tested.
    Anyway, this time he came over, we got naked, and started playing with each other. Our sessions are usually really quick - pretty much pump-n-dumps. There was maybe 2-3 minutes of foreplay and then he was bent over taking my cock. I came a few minutes later and then I started playing with his dick to make it clear I was up for bottoming for him. You could tell that made him happy.
    I got on all fours for him and he tried fucking me like that, but it was painful for me since I hadn't been fucked in over a month. So he told me he wanted me on my back, so I flipped over. Then he started doing these short little stabs at my ass. His dick is nice, but not all that big. And with me not having taken dick in a month those short little stabs really hurt. But I was good and put up with the pain.
    Eventually he got in there and stayed in there and it started feeling a lot better. He cums about as fast as I do. Pretty much just when I started getting used to how it felt he was cumming in my ass.
    The second guy who fucked me also fucked me one of those weekends when I was being a whore. I'm not sure what to think of his HIV status either. He contacted me a couple weeks ago to tell me that he just tested poz. And he's said he's not on meds. Thing is he doesn't fill that in with the usual details. I've repeatedly asked his viral load and he never gives me an answer. And the other thing is that I tested neg about a month after he fucked me last. So if he was so high viral load why didn't the two loads he gave me previously do their job? So he's a huge question mark too.
    The other thing is, I'm not really into him. Actually, that's being nice - I'm really just not into him at all. I mean I appreciate the loads he gives me (he came twice the first time we fucked). But there's zero connection. However, he does seem to have a big hardon for me. He's always texting me telling me he wants to fuck me.
    So anyway... His dick also isn't all that big, but he is thick. When he want to fuck me it hurt like hell even though I just got fucked. Took me a while to get used to it. Then since he's got a pretty short dick and my ass is "beefy" (to put it nicely), he kept coming out and he'd have to find my hole. Finally I reached under and started guiding his cock with my hand when it would come out of my ass. But as things would happen he started staying in so it wasn't necessary. And about that time things started feeling better. The other load in me started lubing his cock and I stretched enough so that it didn't really hurt. And then a minute or two later I hear his breathing change and he came in my ass.
    After he pulled out he told me he'd been saving his load and I should have a really big load up there. (BTW, that was load 27 for the year - plus 4 loads that I got "indirectly").
    He wanted to wash up so while he was doing that I looked down and saw a little light brown cummy gob on the towel. So after he left I figured I'd check to make sure I was still clean 'cause there was another guy who said he'd come over (actually two of them). I figured I'd shit out the load into a little container and then (if I was clean), I'd dump it back in my ass using a funnel.
    The loads were mostly clean, but they were really watery. I got out the funnel and did all sorts of contortions to get my ass up high so gravity could do the work. I put the funnel in my hole and dumped the loads into the funnel and waited a little bit. Then I took out the funnel but held my finger at the bottom and it was a good thing I did. The loads seemed to still be in the funnel. Plus I wasn't sure I had the funnel in my hole right the first time. So I tried again. It hurt going in my hole that time (sharp plastic edges), but when I checked again it seemed like I had gotten about half of it in my ass. So I tried a third time and got all but the last bit in. Thing was I think a lot of the cum wound up outside my hole for one reason or another. I think the neck on the funnel wasn't long enough. The end of it wasn't big enough (which is a problem with something as thick as cum) and it seems I didn't get it in there quite right.
    So my funnel experiment was a bit of a failure. Next time I think I may try putting the load(s) in a condom and then dumping from the condom into my ass.
    After all that one of the tops who said he'd come over didn't get back to me, and the other one couldn't get here in time. Plus my desire to be a cumdump was dwindling for today. So I just called it a day... But I did manage to get two loads. Though I'm not so sure I want to be fucked by the one guy anymore, and I wasted a lot of cum by checking if I was still clean.

Other #BBBH Sites…

This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.

Top Bareback Porn Sites…

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use, Privacy Policy, and Guidelines. We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.