rawsatyr
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I hooked up yesterday with a secret, DARK SECRET fantasy man of mine. Not him personally, just his TYPE! No stunning beauty by any means, but A POZ VETERAN of the homosexual revolution, if you will. He told me he was poz since 1983. If he was a ship, he would be one of those battle-and-storm-battered frigates reemerging from beneath the waves in PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN. He had all the battle-marks and scars of a rare survivors of a then 'deadly scourge': the scars of operations, organ failures and consequent transplants, cancer, the 'wasted look' , the sunken eyes and an unsteady gait...
He embodied the scarily promiscuous world I once FEARED, DREADED and AVOIDED! Condoms didn't catch on with me, not physically nor with my mind. Damn boner killers they were! So through most of my adult life of virtually asexual self deprivation I escaped into LT 'quasi-monogamy'. All failed attempt of creating 'normalcy' in a chaotic time riddled with denial, cheating and hypocrisy. Male monogamy, sure, until dick do us part! LOL
I told him I AM ONE OF THOSE ARROGANT FUCKS who by happenstance late-in-life underwent a 'conversion and transformation', one that 'FLIPPED THE POLES' . Now what I once feared, I search for. POZ bad boys, 'unsafe sex' , total promiscuity... anon sodomy! Terms like 'slut' manwhore, cunt, breeding, seeding, barebacking tramps and poz fucker are now REBRANDED and embraced giving us boners! So here I am with this random stranger who approached me with pic on A4A. With pictures, stating 'POZ undetectable' and he made a bold, forward proposition in a message. Less than a day later here we are, him telling me HIS story, me telling mine, all blunt and condensed. And he said he had a bolt of courage but was expecting to be SHOT DOWN...
"And now you are here, buddy! Wanna fuck!? RAW IS LAW!"
Shall I tell more? I probably won't as I don't want to rack up warning points if it shows up in the wrong section.
(I had a much longer story but I deleted it, concerned it probably belongs in a different section. )
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I think I just may... I have struck gold on the promiscuous bareback level and entered a twilight zone of stranger-danger-seeking seeking young pretty boys (of the 2020's) who embody the bad-asses among my peers from the early days of coming out in West Hollywood. They were HOT CHILI PEPPERS compared to me being vanilla ice LIGHT. The 'physical wreck' of a poz veteran top was what I imagined the embodiment of everything I was once afraid of...
At age 22 when carded at the door of MOTHERLODE my brand-new California ID often mistrusted as a FAKE. Studly bouncers smirking and then 'letting me slide'. Truth be told, the first guy I EVER had sex with was the bouncer of THE SALOON in Minneapolis. He plucked me, that chicken-of-the-day right off the grill. But 4 years after taking a raw cock up the arse, I still looked like I WASN'T DONE YET! Looking like a 16-year-old TIMID TIMMY from Pasadena.
It was the late 80s maybe and AIDS was taking a heavy toll. The young punks my age that bottomed at the drop of a hat are pretty much all dead from what I recall hearing. Back then we all STILL KNEW EACH OTHER, lol, after fucking. But then over the following years, they started dropping off like in THE TEN LITTLE INDIANS! After enthusiastically fucking a few daddy-type cowboys I did however 'settle' for a benign twink, to be able to pull away from the fast lane I never really got on. Sat on the shoulder of the fast life, making out and opting out of the DANGER ZONE. Fearful or reasonable, IDK! The ten little bottoms I knew all disappeared and few were confirmed to have been taken by the grim Reeper. Actually the main one I had a crush on is now a very successful owner of a vinyard in Italy, oh and another runs a 'popular' rehab center franchise. HUSH, I say no more... so maybe some were IMMORTALS. modern day gay vampires... oh my demons, Brad Pitt visions, HOTTIES having run petal to the metal Thelma-and-Louise-style and still coming out smiling and smelling roses while making lemonade from the lemons life tossed at them.
So yes I told the POZ VETERAN with scars from TWO transplants and tales of AZT and throat cancer, that I was one of those stuck-up vanilla dudes who played it 'SAFE' or played dead and sidelined guys like him for basically two decades. TOO DAMAGED and TOO DANGEROUS to handle! And as quasi penance I invited him to put his poz stinger in my uptight bitch-cunt and recharge me with his seasoned tainted DNA...
Yeah that's where that went... maybe I'll continue IDK
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Please,,do Continue,,don't hold back
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