Benji Thorn

I have to say… I too have been guilty of the classic picture trade and log off maneuver. Yes, it’s a bitch boy thing to do and moreover not nice. I guess it was fear of guys overacting when I wasn’t interested. I do live in a large city however the Queer community seems so small and therein the chances of running into some one you’ve pissed off, in a chat site are very large. Logging off seemed easier than a confrontation on the street, in a bar or at the baths later. However something happened just a few days ago that changed my thinking. After an endless night of hunting for a top on the sites, I thought “hey maybe I should try the phone lines,” I’ll find my top man there. This something I’ve not done in years, so I gave it a shot. One of the first messages I got was from a hard pounding leather top guy and on the phone line he sounded perfect. After a few messages we directed each other to our BBRT profiles. When I saw who I was speaking with I recognized him instantly. I’ve seen him in the Gay Ghetto looking quite obviously in failing health and in need of a break from the party drugs. I knew wasn’t attracted and could have instantly disconnected the private chat and left it at that. Don’t get me wrong, I really do like all kinds of men and HIV poz, drugs or no drugs isn’t an issue. What I like in men depends on the guy, my mood, the day and how well we hit it off. I really don’t care if he’s has a few extra pounds, or is skinny like a twig. In fact I prefer real men over the highly polished “Gay A-listers” with well groomed hair, D&G jeans, and snotty attitudes. Anyhow, I was confronted with a dilemma of what to tell this guy when he asked “So, what do you think? Should I come over?” I decided to be honest and I said “You know what man; I don’t think it’s going to work, but thanks a lot.” I waited for the barrage of insults to come my way or at the very least for him to hang up on me. Then he said “No problem buddy, thanks for being honest. Happy hunting.” I guess being honest, without being a total prick, is truly the best policy. No feelings were hurt and I know the next time I see him on the street I... we wont feel an awkward discomfort. Choosing to be a man by telling the truth worked and hell why wasn’t I doing this before.

Love the idea of a map on this site. It’s a great way to meet guys who are like minded pigs in a local area. Right now it shows me about 40kms away from my actual location. This maybe a drawback, as it shows me in the suburbs, when I live downtown. From past experience not many men message or take an interest if they think you are far away.