So I’d really appreciate your insight and ideas with something I’m struggling with right now. I’m a regular guy, good job, house, partner of 15 years. Loads going for me you might say.
My partner and I have been open for a few years and I was cheating way before that. I was always safe, obsessively so. If I ever had a broken condom or something I’d get pep and take it a month etc. I was paranoid about getting HIV.
Over the last year or so I’ve completely turned the other way and have started being a no loads refused cumdump. This year alone in 2020 so far I’ve been with 85 men and been bred off anyone who has offered. I don’t know what’s changed or why I’m putting myself in this position. All I know is that I can’t bring myself to have safe sex anymore even when I tell myself I must.
some of the guys who have bred me have been ugly, abusive, violent etc but I still take their load. I only feel useful when a man is seeding me. Of course they all quickly pull up their trousers and leave me alone when they’re done so I go hunting for the next man to show me interest.
why is this? Any ideas guys? Should I carry on or get help?
thanks