I am neg, and I have fantasies about being strangle fucked. But there is a big issue... Pre history. I was born and brought up in Central Asian country, where majority of population is Muslims. Being gay or bi is a real risk for life and career. Everythin started when I was a teen. 14-15. I found a straight porn, where guy strangle fucked a blonde. The moans and screams of a girl turned me on. I wanted to be her. In her place feel, what she felt. So I started masturbating. Vanilla first, wasn enough, authoritarian wasn't enough, bdsm wasn't enough, and I came through with strangle, it was so turned on. So fucking hot I lost my mind. I have read so many stories. And then there was a gay snuff sex. So there issue is I really want to be used, but I am afraid that I lose control, it turns me on. But scares too. I don't want to die. But want to be used, strangled and beated. I am gonna travel to US This summer. I really want to meet smone. But scared to meet