TightBott7

On 11/8/2021 at 3:49 PM, hntnhole said:

I'm hoping I have misunderstood some of the points made above, and if so I anticipate receiving some clarity.  If not, some of the points made are truly heartbreaking. 

I would imagine it's very difficult to enter into this kind of magnificent relationship without a firm understanding of the Leather Ethic.  By that, I mean a complete and thorough "negotiation" between the two (or more) prospective participants prior to entering into the relationship.  Some of us are, by nature, Dominant, and some are submissive.  That's according to our inborn nature, and both inclinations are equally valid, and deserve to be recognized as such.  A formal Dom/sub "collaring" can only be successfully accomplished by a meeting of the minds, an agreement what will happen, what won't happen, and agreed to by all parties.  In the event something isn't working as anticipated by either of the men a "time-out" (usually for a 1-time experience), or a "re-negotiation" is in order.

Once that negotiation has taken place, the Dom has the wonderful, thrilling, proud responsibility to take utmost care of his sub.  To see to his property's welfare in every way, and in all aspects of the sub's life (this can include financial, health-related, certainly fulfillment-related, psychologically-related issues), and every other aspect of life.  Even if only for a "scene" - i.e. a one-time BD/SM sharing of the experience, the negotiation is absolutely crucial.  Each participant knows with confidence what will and what won't happen.  

For some of us, wanton sex with many men is an important part of our lives, regardless of whether we're D or s.   For submissives, being "owned", cared for, sheltered from the storms of life, as well as enjoying complete sexual submission to many men, at the direction of and under the supervision of their Dom is equally important - even crucial to their well-being*.  As a Dominant Top, I can state unequivocably that there is NO greater thrill than when - after a thorough negotiation - a submissive turns himself over to my care, my sexual use. I have driven very fast cars, I've flown airplanes, I've done all kinds of things, but the experience of a sub offering himself up to my care, trusting, knowing that I will do everything there is to do to enrich his life and never do anything to hurt, disappoint, harm him in any way is the greatest "high" I've ever experienced.  It can be for a day, a weekend, a month, or sometimes years, and it's simply mind-blowing and beautiful and enriching. 

I realize that the focus of this site lies elsewhere .  We're all here because we love raw fucking; Breeding as many Holes as possible for some, taking as much Sperm up our Holes (i.e. mating with) as many Cocks as we can for some.  Ownership, however, implies far more than delicious, wanton sex.  Ownership requires far more than mere horniness, the instinct to control.  I think that most Dominant men (sexually speaking) are unequipped for Ownership, perhaps even disinterested in the entire subject matter outlined above, and there's nothing wrong with that at all, provided they don't make promises they are unwilling or unable to keep. 

The foundational rule, the cornerstone of the Leather Ethic is to never, ever harm a sub (or anyone else, for that matter).  Sure, "accidents" can happen, especially with newbies to The Life, but intentional harm, either actively or passively allowed to occur is counter to everything the Leather Ethic stands for.  The LeatherLife is essentially a life of Service - from the Dom and the sub equally.  For me, this applies to every aspect of life - it's somewhat of a belief-system - a way of structuring one's life for the better - expunging all the religious bullshit so many have have been immersed in and replacing it with simply caring for others.   When this principle is understood and accepted by two men, there is an unimaginably wonderful Universe of sharing the two men can experience.  Callow disregard, whatever the particular aspect of living our lives, is a sad and shameful characteristic, and ruins the uncaring one emotionally. and injures others left in his wake. 

I'm sorry, but the Dom is ALWAYS constrained by the terms of the negotiation, and it is not within his purview to disregard his agreements.  This applies across the board to the sub as well, and any other parties that may participate.  "Care, Respect, Honor"  describe the very foundation upon which a successful D/s relationship is built.  

My apologies for going on like this, but it's just too sad to realize that a truly magnificent sub may have been mistreated so profoundly.  I hope with all my heart I misunderstood the initial post.

😞

*it is entirely possible/probable that the Dom will send the sub to a trusted friend to provide sexual service.  It is fairly common for Leathermen to swap their subs for a weekend with their Brothers-in-Leather.  Obviously, this only happens when it's within the confines of the negotiation, and the recepient of the Dom's largess is a well-known and trusted friend.  Even then, phone contact between the Dom and his sub is required.

Wow, you hit the nail right on the head. To me the hottest part of interacting with a a Dom top is when he ultimately persuades me to turn over control to him, to let him make decisions for me. Sometimes it’s frustrating, but ultimately it reinforces my sub nature to submit to his will and in the process both of us are fulfilled/happy.