Giftgiver53

Dick size is what it is. I was surprised at an early age that many tops wanted me to be erect while getting fucked to show that I was enjoying myself. Then their were some that liked me locked in a chastity cage that effectively killed my dick for several years. Now that I'm poz I used testosterone and various pumps and weights to make my dick size useful as a breeding tool. So the lessons learned - are no matter your dick size someone.wants you !

I don't refuse but I'm less enthusiastic about the fuck. I find myself wishing the condom is forgotten, broken, or comes off. I have several times sabatogued the proceedings with Vaseline or baby oil. Once I even was so stupid as to pay the top to fuck me raw which he still ended up using one ( it was comical watch him trying to stealthily remove it after he orgasmed. He was a great fuck so I continued to see him -- just never paid him for anything ever again.

Don't be too hard on yourself. Cock and cum IS very addictive.  Once we have ignored the long list of mental and social road blocks we will get on our knees and bend over every chance we get. So many tastes and styles to choose from. As NIKE says 

" JUST DO IT "  you will be happier and the other guy will be happier..

17 hours ago, Teeslad70 said:

Any advice on how to actually achieve this received gratefully.

Do a simple search on the internet--- PReP for HIV can now be obtained off of the internet along with testing. .Doxy -prep is different and is a new attempt to deal with non -hiv Sti's. A possibility is to contact your state health department. Virginia is excellent. ---- they have plans where they will pay for your health insurance and your meds . if you just go to a regular doctor -- regular drugstore -- you will end up paying top price ---Dont do that!!!

Sorry to say -- unless you get moving you stand a good chance of going poz and that will force you onto meds and sink your marriage. ( at least that is what you have to prepare for.). Please DM me for specific ideas and plans.

On 11/4/2023 at 5:58 AM, Teeslad70 said:

The thing is that I don't ever think I can go back to just sucking cock now and then when the urge demands.

No matter what sense says, no matter what decision I make, that wave will eventually break again and I will become the cumslut cockwhore that is inside me.

It's an impossible situation.

Yes you will--- go on PReP now -- for your wife. Now they also have doxy-prep. You may feel guilty now cheating on her---- but it is HELL if you give her a STI. 

The other option is to go platonic with her ( not likely) or leave the marriage.. 

You love dick and cum--- be smart-- plan accordingly.

15 hours ago, WiltsCumDump said:

My favourite moment is when I am getting fucked while on my back looking up at a Top and knowing by the look on his face that he is close to shooting his load… that definitely puts me over the edge… I have had a dry orgasm ( I orgasm but don’t cum) like that… 

Yeah that eye to eye contact signals so many things for one " breed me" the other " take my toxic babies"

.

Marriage:  men have cheated on their wives since the beginning with women and other men.  The best advice is go on PReP NOW! Get tested for all STI's every 3 months.  Yes you can pick your lovers sometimes but don't depend on what they say plus it is difficult to say no to a #2 or #3. 

And last advice--- prepare your self financially and emotionally for her to find out.  If you wait until the shit hits the fan --- life smells real bad.

On 8/7/2023 at 8:58 AM, Teeslad70 said:

I know. Just wish I was a lot younger for those Daddies.

Age is just a caveman excuse for having sex with the most fertile and least experienced (less likely to resist). 

Most realistic people know sex is for all ages.  So like the rest of us get on your knees and suck them hard and offer your ass. 

On 8/21/2023 at 11:38 AM, ErosWired said:

No one questions that men have the right to make this choice with their bodies. We only question whether they’re in their right minds when they make it.

‘My body, my choice’ sounds like a statement of responsibility. But how many of these guys who actually do this are following through with the responsibility that comes with their choice? What about the responsibility for the cost of their medication if they start it (it’s expensive, and somebody, somewhere, has to cover it)? What about the cost of their inevitable hospitalization if they don’t? What about the burden their failing health may place on their families and friends?

What about the lives they may forever change by ‘passing on the gift’ to someone unsuspecting, who will not be given a choice? Because the boards are sickeningly full of statements by men who say they stealth breed men with ‘toxic cum’. There are all too many gifter/chaser guys who get off on that - ‘my body, my choice’, but not ‘his body, his choice’.

Here’s the choice I’ve made - I choose to believe that the man who pozzed me did not know he was infected. I choose to believe he was not a HVL gifter who stepped up to my cunt and smugly, intentionally, pumped me full of the corruption that wrecked my life. Because if I believed that, it would blacken my view of humanity and leave me an angry, bitter, hostile man.

I have no idea who my poz daddy was.  When I started taking loads it was because. I liked bareback sex way better after having sex with condoms.  When I was a teen condoms were only thought of as pregnancy prevention. Then came HIV and AIDS.  Many " rubbered up"  some didn't-- some condoms failed. Then came meds-- very expensive meds. Then came PReP- very expensive. PReP.  Then the goverment forced health insurance to cover HIV meds -- then PReP; health insurance became  very expensive and heaven forbid you got caught up in the pre-existing condition hell.

NOW---- government/ insurance will pay for PReP.  If you are POZ government will pay for both your insurances and your meds.  BUT government is prone to change its mind and drop us like a hot potatoe.  Example -- abortion.  Some are even talking about dumping social security and Medicare.  Anti gay marriage is back-- telling trans kids they can't use ANY RESTROOM!  I could go on and on. 

 A friend suggested to seek out "conservative" girls and knock them up or "conservative " boys and poz them up.  Unless the "conservatives" feel the pinch of life they won't give a shit about YOUR life.  

Just remember--- those that have money don't want you to have any money. So as far as sex is concerned just say no------- yeah right.

If BZ was to be a successful hook-up site all its members would have to be independently wealthy.  You would have to be able to travel anywhere at anytime. 

All my life has been a slippery slope.

Straight- bi then 100% gay. 

Only condoms to " let's talk about it" to "what ever"

Average size to ANY SIZE. "Make it fit!!! "

Selective partners to "anyone anywhere anytime" 

Once you fuck me you own my ass--- just contact me! 

I'M A SLUT NOW!

Oh Amy I have felt your anguish for years too. Depression is a very serious illness --- it is the equivalent of a elephant sitting on you and  time feels like it is slowing to a crawl.  

You must seek out immediately medical help!  This will not resolve by it self.  

I wish that my truthful words would heal your mind and heart , but know from experience they will not. 

You are beautiful and young with many year ahead to experience a great happy life. Ending it or doing yourself harm will not help.  Two thoughts that have sustained me to continue on are 1) I never want my very last thought to be " I could have......" 2) I have a beautiful - smart grand daughter And I would never want her to think in a moment of dispare. " my poppa killed himself so it must be ok to do that". 

Please write if you like-- and know that I do care.