Help, thoughts, freaking out

[chibtm2breed]

I went to our local bathhouse that had their Cumunion party last night. I am much more of a voyeur for bb fucking so far and though a very hot idea, I always end up using condoms. The "party" goes on along with the regular bathhouse business in the same space, so probably a mix of party people and regular business. I got a room.

After sucking one guy for awhile, the guy fucked me (who by wrist strap indicated top) partway through the condom was intact but at some point, the condom broke.

I am trying to judge my risks. We had not discussed status or condoms before hand. He was the one who went to put on a condom before I had to say anything (though it was on tight). After it happened, I asked him if he was neg and if he came. He said he was neg and he did not cum. As far as I could tell, there was not cum in my ass either.

I know there are a number of scenarios. He did it purposely being positive assuming I'd ask for a condom at some point and then made it break, he is positive and was trying to protect me, or he is neg and did not want to catch anything himself.

I am trying to figure my risks. I have seen averages quoted on thebody of 5 in 1000 with a known positive partner. I know there is PEP but don't have the money for it (guessing $600-1000) and no insurance.

Since he grabbed the condom without asking is there a good chance he's told the truth about being negative? What is everyone's thought?

[rawTOP]

Based on your screen name you're in Chicago. I'd be surprised if the City of Chicago didn't offer PEP to people without insurance - I'm pretty sure NYC does. Call the health department and ask. The other option is to call the local gay STD clinic (I assume you have at least one in Chicago) and ask if they know of anywhere to get PEP for free. If you don't regularly bareback (despite your screen name) and it's worrying you - then PEP may be right for you.

That said, the risk depends on if he was poz an whether he was on meds. Odds are, you're OK - but the risk is not zero.

[chibtm2breed]

Yes, I am in Chicago. I have not had a bareback encounter in many years (despite my screen name) but is damn hot and love BB porn and watching. I had read NYC does offer free PEP but did not see anything searching online for Chicago, I am trying to call around. One HIV community organization say they do not know of any help with the medication costs gave me another organization to call and am waiting to hear back.

I have the vague feeling that if someone has hiv they can get their meds real cheap here (if no income etc) but not helpful in prevention. Maybe I could have been more confident in his telling the truth before but maybe not. It was going to be condom anyway and thought it was a good sign he went for the condom without being asked.