Hesitation

[cumdesire]

I woluld like to start from the fact that I'm new here, so hi everybody:). I know the final decision about my question must be taken on my own but I must ask (despite myself): bareback or not to bareback? I'm a 23 year-old student, slim and rather handsome (gym) and I'm good-natured, humorous... but from the economical point of view I still live with parents what complicates everything a bit. That's the 'good' side of me and now the dark one. My tempation is to 'devote' to bb. I have it few times in my life, suprisingly only one finished with cumdumping my ass and that kind of sex turns me on and makes hot. Maybe it's a silly question but: do You think I should let myself go after it? because that thought occurs very often in my head. And finally, any advice for minimalizing the risk of STD's and do You had such doubts about fucking bare? thx for response and I'll try do develope this train.

[slowfuck]

Welcome young man. I can't spend a lot of time writing a comprehensive reply just now, but you will I am sure get all shades of opinion vfrom others upon which to base your decisions. Knowledge is power as they say. Spend lots of time reading all the different threads in this forum, all of it illuminating and thought provoking and a lot of it will turn you on. Some of the threads are fiction/fantasy but likely based on fact. Other threads reflect the realities and make you think, but learn what you're getting into and make you decisions from that. If you are not comfortable with, and prepared to deal with, the potential consequences then keep it as a fantasy.

Plenty of guys bareback without catching serious stds and stay neg through careful choice of partners - avoiding the riskier situations, getting to know the guys first and choosing wisely - but it's not certain and you could be unlucky. Younger guys tend to be ignorant of the realities of hedonistic sex and don't understand the consequences. If they are clued up and take care of themselves then they are probably a better bet. Remember though that some people lie and other people do not necessarily know they are infected with something. Indeed some find this dicing with danger exciting.

Enjoy your 'research'

[rawTOP]

My suggestion is pick a side of the fence and own your choice. Either bareback and stop worrying about what comes with it, or use a condom every time and stop fantasizing about bareback. The conflicted middle is the worst case scenario IMHO.

[Guest Matias47]

Well, I can tell being poz isn't fun -- so if you're not a bug chaser try to take some precaution. Get to know someone, get tested, etc. If you want to take more risk, but try to stay neg, you can always go the prophylaxis rout and take antivirals either right before or right after potential exposure. I'm not sure about how long the treatment is or coverage and whatnot, but you can look into it.

[cumdesire]

Well, I can tell being poz isn't fun -- so if you're not a bug chaser try to take some precaution. Get to know someone, get tested, etc. If you want to take more risk, but try to stay neg, you can always go the prophylaxis rout and take antivirals either right before or right after potential exposure. I'm not sure about how long the treatment is or coverage and whatnot, but you can look into it.

yeah, not an easy matter. About chasing - no, I'm not a bug chaser.

[Guest Matias47]

yeah, not an easy matter. About chasing - no, I'm not a bug chaser.

Ok then -- as a human being who actually does have some respect and caring for the general welfare of my fellows -- this is what I think -- for what it's worth --

If you're leaning towards anon sex (bathhouse, sexclub, parties, etc.) that's high risk. HIV is spread more efficiently by those with high viral loads and that (probably) means a lot of fucking by those that don't know their status. Which is why, conversely, those on meds whose VL's are under control are a much lower risk, but still a risk.

Occasional hook ups, bars, CL and other websites -- still high risk, but maybe not quite as much.

Oral without a condom is low risk for the giver, extremely low risk for the receiver (for HIV, that is).

Penetration with a condom is extremely low risk, with most of the risk coming from slippage or breakage.

A monogamous relationship. Of course, the perfect scenario for that is you meet someone, you both get tested -- then no risky behavior --- get tested again at 3 months, then six months -- if you're both clean, BB your brains out. Then you only have to worry about fidelity, so be real open about outside desires and at least talk about it.

It sounds to me like your hesitation is stronger than your desire for BB right now because you really don't want to get infected. I advise, again, for what it's worth, that you play safe or find a BF.

If you go the other way and wild, get ready to accept the shit if or when it happens.

I'd rather not be poz, but I went into it and let my passion rule. Now, I look for only Poz and Poz friendly. When I'm at Slammer or something, I tell my status. I also get tested regularly for other std's.

Good luck, man.

[slobbtop]

IF you have hesitations you are not ready yet. For me the transition from safe only to BB only was a gradual one that required a lot of research, self searching, risk assessment and acceptance of the possible consequences. Like many have already said there are different levels of exposure and risk. There are things you can do to manage your level of risk, but before you truly make the transition to a bb bottom you have to truly accept the fact that if you plan on taking raw loads on a regular basis over the next years of your life chances are you will most likely seroconvert.

[natebait84]

if you're thinking about it like this it's kinda inevitable your gonna go all the way if u ask me

[Snarkybitch]

Yeah, if you're going to bareback promiscuously, you will (unless you're extraordinarily lucky) catch HIV eventually. Another option would be to use condoms when hooking up, but bareback within a monogamous relationship after discussing things with your partner.

[cumdesire]

Yeah, if you're going to bareback promiscuously, you will (unless you're extraordinarily lucky) catch HIV eventually. Another option would be to use condoms when hooking up, but bareback within a monogamous relationship after discussing things with your partner.

Monogamous relationship would be a golden mean considering all things mentioned above, but it's not an easy 'task' if I can call it that way, especially when stressing fidelity of the potential bf.

[Snarkybitch]

Monogamous relationship would be a golden mean considering all things mentioned above, but it's not an easy 'task' if I can call it that way, especially when stressing fidelity of the potential bf.

True, there's always the issue of whether or not your partner is trustworthy. And monogamy isn't necessarily easy, either. It's still the best bet for avoiding HIV while barebacking.

[einathens]

if you're in doubt, don't. you can decide later on a guy-by-guy basis. don't let anyone pressure you into something you're not ready to do.

[NiceHard1]

Everyone has already contributed great comments. I know its not easy to navigate the human male instincts to be sexual, with the knowledge of the risks that it presents, and so I feel the pain in your struggle. If you go full force into wild anonymous bb sex, particularly bottoming, as others have said, you will become poz. If you choose the other extreme and choose not to do it, you may likely break through and do it occasionally, and then beat yourself up for slipping. While the decision is one that you must make, I would recommend that you consider some middle ground, and try to find a win-win situation for yourself - a way to be sexual in the way that you want (without condoms) but while looking at ways to reduce your risk.

One suggestion is to get to know guys who you will play with and talk about their HIV stauts/practices, asking more than if someone is poz or neg. For a neg guy, ask him how often he goes to get tested, and how long ago was his last test. For a poz guy, ask what his last viral load count was, not leading the answer by asking if he is undetectable. Most poz guys will be open to talking if you ask. A poz/undetectable guy may be a much lower risk than a guy who claims to be negative, but has not gotten tested in a long while.

Depending on where you live, you might be able to get into a preexposure prophylactic study, which has been shown to be highly effective at preventing HIV, though its not widely available yet.

Another idea could be to develop a closed group of fuckbuddies who you know and trust to be either truly negative, or undetectable.

Random, anonymous fucking can certainly sound hot, but it is really Russian Roulette - you don't know who you're playing with, and the more often you play, the sooner you'll become poz. Putting a little thought and effort into your sex can make it fun and exciting. I have met several guys from this site and bbrt and traveled to a number of places, meeting guys who I have gotten to know, and have had amazing experiences and hot sex. I'd be happy to chat with you more about ideas!

[very evil slut]

As you said-this is your life and you are the only one that should take a decision,that will possibly affect your entire life.You call the shots as it is your body.I know there a lot of tops out there who kind of think,that bottoms are poz anyway and we should keep it down,take it up the ass and put up with everything they want of us.I was totally sub at the start,but the attitude of many tops(I guess I had bad luck) made me really aggressive in the process and now I have mutated in a very dominating,demanding,self confident bottom.I am total slut,but on 100% my terms.As for advice-don't you ever trust anyone,ever!I had a mono-relationships(explicitly non-open) and TWICE-I was cheated on.In 2010 one of my ex's get tested positive(I get tested every 3 months)-I found out,freaked out,went to the clinic,waited for the results,got them negative(thank God or whomever for this as he had high VL),made some research on with how many guys he was sleeping and after the result-I dumped him.Funny-in August of 2011 I dumped another ex,as he was doing the same thing.That made it pretty clear for me-I don't trust anyone and I started dragging them to testing.As a matter of fact-I am traveling in the opposite direction.I have been barebacking and now that I am grown up and tried the supposedly wildest thing out there I am going more & more back to condoms.I know I am totally the exception,but everything is possible.Check that(the guy got infected on 23/24 and had serious issues with progression to full blown AIDS and still not confirmed possible resistance):

http://www.thepositiveproject.org/#

put gender on 'M'

put orientation on 'gay'

click on 29 year old Brock and watch.Remember it is your decision and if doesn't end pretty for you-it is your fault and you have to deal with it.

[tboyer]

Yes, Mr Brock was infected, by a boyfriend whom he trusted, That's why I wouldn't rely on partner selection

As you said-this is your life and you are the only one that should take a decision,that will possibly affect your entire life.You call the shots as it is your body.I know there a lot of tops out there who kind of think,that bottoms are poz anyway and we should keep it down,take it up the ass and put up with everything they want of us.I was totally sub at the start,but the attitude of many tops(I guess I had bad luck) made me really aggressive in the process and now I have mutated in a very dominating,demanding,self confident bottom.I am total slut,but on 100% my terms.As for advice-don't you ever trust anyone,ever!I had a mono-relationships(explicitly non-open) and TWICE-I was cheated on.In 2010 one of my ex's get tested positive(I get tested every 3 months)-I found out,freaked out,went to the clinic,waited for the results,got them negative(thank God or whomever for this as he had high VL),made some research on with how many guys he was sleeping and after the result-I dumped him.Funny-in August of 2011 I dumped another ex,as he was doing the same thing.That made it pretty clear for me-I don't trust anyone and I started dragging them to testing.As a matter of fact-I am traveling in the opposite direction.I have been barebacking and now that I am grown up and tried the supposedly wildest thing out there I am going more & more back to condoms.I know I am totally the exception,but everything is possible.Check that(the guy got infected on 23/24 and had serious issues with progression to full blown AIDS and still not confirmed possible resistance):

http://www.thepositiveproject.org/#

put gender on 'M'

put orientation on 'gay'

click on 29 year old Brock and watch.Remember it is your decision and if doesn't end pretty for you-it is your fault and you have to deal with it.