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why is cheating so prevalent in our community?


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i don't like the idea of glorifying cheating. everyone should be in the types of romantic and sexual relationships they want, but lying and deceiving people is shitty no matter what.

however, i think the gay community is certainly less into monogamous relationships on average. perhaps the act of coming out as gay already puts you into a sexual niche, so it's less difficult to take the next leap of being polygamous if that's what you're into.

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I can not stand cheating. If you want to have a bunch of sexual partners, then be single. Unless you and whomever you are with is in an open relationship. If you aren't, then keep your pants zipped or get out of the relationship. The cheater may enjoy the risk, but he should never put his partner at risk without the partner's knowledge. It's called respect. Sadly, it seems respect is no longer important to a lot of people.

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Sneaking and cheating not only is bad because of the disrespect it shows for the partner, but it also takes a hit on the cheating person's self-imagine and self respect for themselves. Hiding any type of 'secret' over time just eats away at you.

Open relationships, and there are many and varied types, are fine as long as both parties can handle it. Speaking from experience I never would have thought an open relationship possible when I was younger. However, now that I'm in my 40s I know that it's not only possible... but probable.

It's intimacy, not sex, that at least for me has become the most important part of my 20+ relationship.

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Simply put-cheating is not acceptable for me in a relationship, if it is not specifically agreed upon as a open relationship. Doing it an hiding it is extremely disrespectful. I am a slut and love to fuck with a lot of guys but I was in a relationship and did bring my slutty nature under control, because the man I was with made it clear- he doesn't share his toys with others. I accepted it and it was really cool till it lasted and nobody was cheated on. I had another relationship that I was cheated on and...well,it was really ugly.Make up the rules and stick to them-if can't deal with the situation as it is, talk again and if there is no common ground, go and find your luck. Doing stuff behind someone's back and spinning a web of lies and secrets is beyond any forgiveness-that is my opinion.

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Personal experience; I have been in heterosexual relationships as well. May not be more prevalent in our community, but I do notice it more. Have never explored this topic outside of my own preponderance so, for now, this is my only data. Thank you for raising more questions, though.

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Surprised I didn't see more of this answer. Is there no guilt? If there is, how is it easy to deal with that? I can see the other person not caring but doesn't that hurt you? I am asking this under the assumption that you're in a relationship, based on your reply. If this was an incorrect assumption, I am sorry.

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I think that cheating is so prevalent in the gay/bi world, because we have always to a extent-been dehumanized in a way (no legalitly) in our relationships; by society. Therefore we take sex/relationships with a grain of salt. I dont see the point in cheating per se...id rather have a open relationship..then to be sneaking around on a mate..but then again some guys (gay or str8) get thrills outta cheating.

I just would rather be honest with a mate about that cuz i fuck raw. As i would want him to be also..

maybe thats wishful thinking?

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I think a lot of guys would prefer an open relationship, but would it be a deal breaker for you if the other guy wasn't into that? My partner and I gave the open relationship thing a whirl but it did nothing for me (felt pointless) and he said it was driving him to monogamy.

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Open relationships would not work for me, always that doubt and insecurity. For me honesty is the best approach, if you are gonna fuck around then at least be honest and give your partner the choice of if they want to stay with you or not, or what risks you would be giving to them.

I have just gotton out of a 7 year relationship and for the time being am enjoying multiple sex partners, my choice, if i find someone i want to be with then things will be different.

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its easy to do and for someone like me i can't be satisfied by only fucking one guy all the time

Then if that's the way you truly are, don't be in a relationship. Or at least let your partner know you want to play around separately. To deceive is unforgivable.

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