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Advice needed for confused pup


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Hey guys. So, i've been on the bugchasing scene for a while now. I have taken countless medicated loads, and a few HVL, but nothing has taken. My real problem, is i'm not sure i'm going to regret getting pozzed or not. I want to, i think about it all the time, and every time i jack off it's about being used a cum/piss pup. I even think about it when i'm not horny (suffice to say, it doesnt take long to get me horny!)

The 1 thing stopping me, is that i'm partnered. Part of me still stays it's worth going out and getting myself knocked up so i can be a true pozpup for breeding, since me and my partner don't play sexually, and he has said if i get pozzed that it will change nothing between us. But, what if we grow to be sexually active with each other? The reason we don't now is because we're both bottom, but who's to say one of us won't develop a top side? We have performed in a recent bareback/cottaging dvd (called Bareback Cottaging, funnily enough, by AdultMaleUK), and that was the last time we had sex. (He doesn't bareback with others, only me when we did play).

I'm just in 2 minds. I know it's going to happen someday, and so part of me says do it sooner rather than later so that i can have more fun right away without having to worry, and it also means i can plan the scene that i'll get pozzed in and make my ultimate fantasy come true. But what if complications arise? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I need to get knocked up. It's just a case of taking the plunge (again) and when. I have not barebacked with anyone poz (and have them shoot a load up my cunt) for a while now, maybe 4-5 months or so, and im fucking craving some poz cum.

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I've been talking with several guys now who thought that they knew what they want, and then after reality set in, thought differently, which I think means that they really had not thought it through in the first place.

In one case, which I wrote about here, a guy regretted it after bottoming with me, and went on PEP.

In another case a guy has recently received a positive rapid test result, and so now is waiting for a higher sensitivity test result to confirm it. He knew his risks though had not been really chasing. He knows that the second test is likely going to confirm the first one, and now he is anxious and confused about his choices now that it has happened.

I would recommend a couple of things... Read more postings on here from me and others talking about the issue. Also go to www.projectinform.org and read through the three to documents hat they have there to talk about what to do now that you have become poz. Try to visualize getting a positive test result, and read through those documents as if it is a reality - as if the things that they talk about are the things that you will need to do for the rest of your life if you want to stay alive and keep HIV from progressing.

I think that in many cases, people don't really learn enough about HIV until after they are positive. So take the time now to learn as much as you can before, and let that help inform your decision.

Edited by NiceHard1
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Thanks very much for the reply! I agree - While I have spent ALOT of time around poz guys (having been Owned by poz guys before), i understand what daily life entails; medication and their side affects, regular doctor visits, diet changes, and ofcourse the weakened immune system. I live fairly healthily when it comes to foods, so i like to think that is less of a hurdle for me if i go out and get bred. I have made sure to do all sorts of research, having anticipated i was pozzed mid 2011 (after 3 months, barebacking in clubs every weekend, i was pretty sure i had caught atleast something... turns out my body kicks ass and i didn't contract anything). In the 3 months until i was due a test i did a shitload of research and made sure to understand the consequence.

Thanks for the links, I will certainly check them out. Thank you!

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If you're not sure you're going to regret it or not, then I'd say hold off till you are sure. It's a one way door. It's not just a question of healthy eating and looking after yourself: thirteen or fourteen months ago in the middle of Wales I was eating a "local" diet in that practically everything I ate hadn't travelled more than thirty or forty miles in its entire existence (I'm a pretty good cook and not a bad nutritionist), I was doing weights three times a week, could look in a mirror and thing "yeah, I'd do me" and was riding my motorbike through those narrow Welsh lanes at seventy.

Go have a look for posts from me on medical stuff from the middle of last year: I'd lost (over?) a quarter of my bodyweight, came within a few days of death simply because one of the most widely used HIV drugs turned on me and bit me on the arse. I still can't manage unfamiliar places or crowds without a walking stick and much of the damage the drugs did is permanent. What happened to me is rare, but it can happen: that's the other thing you need to keep in mind. Sometimes the drugs cause more damage than the virus.

Not trying to frighten you, just want to make sure you have as many of the facts as possible before you make the decision. (BTW: I confess, my avatar pic was taken before any of this shit happened)

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If you're not sure you're going to regret it or not, then I'd say hold off till you are sure. It's a one way door. It's not just a question of healthy eating and looking after yourself: thirteen or fourteen months ago in the middle of Wales I was eating a "local" diet in that practically everything I ate hadn't travelled more than thirty or forty miles in its entire existence (I'm a pretty good cook and not a bad nutritionist), I was doing weights three times a week, could look in a mirror and thing "yeah, I'd do me" and was riding my motorbike through those narrow Welsh lanes at seventy.

Go have a look for posts from me on medical stuff from the middle of last year: I'd lost (over?) a quarter of my bodyweight, came within a few days of death simply because one of the most widely used HIV drugs turned on me and bit me on the arse. I still can't manage unfamiliar places or crowds without a walking stick and much of the damage the drugs did is permanent. What happened to me is rare, but it can happen: that's the other thing you need to keep in mind. Sometimes the drugs cause more damage than the virus.

Not trying to frighten you, just want to make sure you have as many of the facts as possible before you make the decision. (BTW: I confess, my avatar pic was taken before any of this shit happened)

Thanks alot for the input matey, very much appreciated

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