He Said He Loved Me, but Pozzed Me

[orlandoneg]

I guess it makes sense to tell this story in the fiction section because the relationship I thought I had was a total fiction, after all. I just wanted to be loved; and he took advantage of me. Please don't do this to anyone else!

We went on a few dates. He was so very sweet. On the third date, he told me he was poz. We drank a little after dinner; and I guess that was my first mistake. He promised if things "got that far" he would be safe, wear a condom and all that. He was gorgeous and I felt I could trust him. Maybe my lust was clouding my judgement. That perfect medium size muscular body; and thick dick pressed against me really got me going. But we set our limits.

The first time he fucked me, about half-way through, he said the condom fell off. And I told him to stop. It's like he was ignoring me. He said "okay .. just one more sec .." and then he came in me. I was like what the fuck? He apologized and said he lost control and that he would never do it again. I don't know what I believed him. But, I wanted to trust him. I wanted to be loved. So, our next date, we ended up in bed. And, of course, he was supposed to wear a condom. It was dark; and I was kinda drunk to get some courage. Even with a condom, I was nervous to let a poz dude fuck me. I was nervous as he rimmed my ass. I wasn't sure if that was safe. Then he rolled me on my stomach and said "Do you love me?" I didn't know what was coming next and told him I did. I was falling for him. Next thing I know, his thick dick head is prying into my hole. It burned and then he was half-way in. "Stop!" I told him "Put on a condom."

Again, he ignored me. "You said you loved me .. prove it. Let me fuck you raw," he said as he slid it into me. Maybe it was the alcohol; maybe I was just head-over-heels. I whispered "Okay .. but just this once. Go slow." He started slow; but then just a minute later, he picked up his pace and came inside me before I even know what happened. And then he told me he loved me; and somehow I wasn't as scared as I was. I feel so stupid now. He never made sure I would cum. He would say he was "tired" and had to go to sleep.

The third time he fucked me, I was practically asleep. We had watched a movie; and I was tired. Then, I wake up feeling his wet dick being shoved into me. "We can't do this," I tried to tell him. And again, he said he loved me. I told him not to cum; and he said he would pull out. That made it seem better. Next thing I know, we are side by side and he's pumping that big dick into me harder than he ever had before. "You want my cum?!" he asked. I decided I wasn't going to be used again and told him "No, don't cum." And then he said, "I thought you loved me." And I started to feel sad. I didn't want to upset him. "I do love you," I told him. And again, he plowed my hole; and I felt my ass being stretched apart; and then I felt him pumping cum into me again. I was so upset. I cried, but I didn't want Peter to leave me. The next morning, I told him I needed to break up. And I did. That lasted for about two weeks; and I started to miss him so much. I was drunk and we started texting. Next thing I know, he's in my bed again. He apologized for trying to "Poz my ass." And I accepted his apology.

He said he missed me, and that he loved me. I missed his company too, and I have to admit the sex was hot. Once again, he ate my ass; and I know he was gonna fuck me raw. I couldn't resist it though. I missed him; I needed him. I loved him so much. Then, he got rougher than ever before, and started saying things like "You like my big cock in your tiny hole?" And for some reason, I wasn't scared anymore. I thought of him fucking me every day, several times a day. So I said, "God yeah. I love the way you fuck me." I shouldn't have said that. Then, he started slam fucking me and saying things like "Oh yeah, take my poz dick you little slut." I didn't know what to say. It felt good, but I felt stupid. And some how, I just found myself saying "Yeah, fuck me." "Are your ready to have your ass filled with my poz cum again you whore?" At this point, I was out of control. It felt amazing. I missed it so much. So I yelled out "Yeah, cum in my ass. Blast your cum deep in my ass. I love you! Cum in me!"

"I love you too, you dumb little slut," he said as he hammered my ass with his cock. This time, I came the same time he filled my ass with cum. Iit was an indescribable experience. That was the last time he fucked me. He stopped answering my calls and texts. He blocked me on grinder and a4a. He didn't answer my e-mails. I feel so stupid. Now, I'm poz; and noone wants to love me. What an asshole. Don't do this to people! Just because a big dick feels good in your ass doesn't mean you should take poz dicks. Yeah, it feels amazing. But, you can end up alone. I'm not ever letting a poz dick up my ass again. Well, unless it's Peter. I miss him.

Edited March 21, 2013 by Hotload84

[NastyRigPig]

Most on this website would think he gave you the ultimate token of his infection, er, I mean affection.

[Guest JizzDumpWI]

I don't see it as a token of affection at all. I think you said it right, token of infection.

This sad story shows up a problem we have with each other. It is one thing to go after converting a guy who is chasing. But to couch stealthing in the framework of "love" paints an unattractive side to the game. This isn't how we respect, support, show kindness, demonstrate unity in our brotherhood. Peter belongs in isolation. Peter might have targeted dozens of men who were looking exactly for what he was offering. Instead he targeted someone willing to give his heart. That said; as I read your story; you did know they way; and no punishment intended; you were a willing participant. Peter though is NOT THE representative of POZ men. Some are POZ well beyond HIV (in the most favorable definition of "POZ").

What some receive as a "gift", others will receive as a "sentence". It is up to BOTH to decide whether to head down that path. Not just one side.

From my POV, we should be condemning Peter. Totally not cool; reflective of a sociopath.

orlandoneg (I suppose you might want to modify that handle); what done is done. I'm sorry you got pulled into that stealth game. But there are resources that if you haven't checked, you should.... Check here and download the .pdfs. Do some other checking of posts here on breedingzone and you'll actually find pockets of support and direction now that you've seroconverted. Some of the mods here have grappled with being poz themselves, and have found their way. You can too.

For certain orlandoneg; I hope you don't go off stealthing yourself as "payback". There are better ways to "Pay it Forward".

[canail]

I almost never say a thing on this group, although I visit it often; tonight I do feel I have something to say, and it may seem like I am rambling. I'm sorry about that.

I did not understand the desire to be poz, or wanting to poz a fella for a very long time. I do not understand it very well from a bottoms perspective, but can see a certain relief for a man who wants to be able to take any load, even though that is a desire I don't really grasp. I can see a bottom wanting more from a man then just a load, something tangible and intensive, I'm simply sorry there isn't another option for a truly life changing event a bottom could accept for his top. I don't presume to judge them in either case, or another I haven't considered. I can understand from a tops perspective wanting to give my boy something more that will be his forever, I myself would not want that to be something damaging in any way. I have come also to the conclusion, that as much as I do not want to be hiv+ there is at least one situation where I would have willingly and cheerfully have accepted it. Years ago Myself and my husband (yes legally married) found a boy and had arranged for him to move in. We were all very attached. He tested positive, and refused to see or talk to us beyond explaining that he could not be with us, that he could not accept the risk to us. My husband and I both agreed at the time we would have accepted the risk to spend our lives with him, and have regretted not having that chance ever since, and have tried to contact him fairly frequently. This is acceptance of risk instead of actual desire. So although *much* of the desire to be positive is a mystery to me, I can in some ways understand. The common thread through all of these is honesty and straight forward choice. I also sometimes see a bit more that I can't normally articulate in the stories. I even believe that for some the thrill of the risk creates a willingness. So be it, I wouldn't judge another based on my lack of understanding.

I however understand this story much too well and find nothing romantic, erotic or sexy about it. It is about setting out to betray another's love, creating the chance to do so, and doing so with absolutely no regard for what was destroyed. It's sick and sad. Orlandoneg I hope its not a true story; if it is, you have my sympathy, and my assurance that if you find the right man, who loves you, your status will not matter to him. Even if he like myself does not wish to be positive.

Canail.

Edited March 1, 2013 by canail

[orlandoneg]

I'm in love again! Peter called me last week; and we made up. I knew he loved me. There's a connection I never felt before. He explained to me that he felt guilt over pozzing me. And he apologized. I accepted his apology. And I have to say I've been really horny since we broke up. So, I was desperate to have him in bed with me again. He came over the same night we made up. And he was so passionate! He's into things I don't really understand; but I love him and I just go with it. He loves to say things like "so, you're a little poz cum slut now, aren't you?" And if I say no, he gets upset at me. So, I just go along with it, and then he fucks me soo good. I missed making love with him so much.

The only thing I didn't like was the next day. He asked me if his friend Bryce could come fuck me. I told him that I only wanted Peter. And Peter said that if I loved him, I would make him happy by taking care of his friend. His friend was really cute. And I guess the idea turned me on. I just wish it was a little less vulgar. I mean I loved the sex. But, I like hearing "I love you" when I'm getting fucked and I couldn't help to wonder if I was getting used again.

"Bryce is poz too. And he really needs to fuck someone raw. I want you to take his load, since you're a poz cum slut," Peter explained to me. I felt a little embarrassed; but I didn't want Peter to get upset. So, I did everything he asked. I let Bryce face fuck me; and fuck me raw. I don't know why, but Bryce liked to pull his dick out of my ass and put it in my mouth a lot. That seemed weird, but it turned me on kinda too. I got a little upset when Peter started fucking Bryce while I sucked on Bryce's dick. That's when I realized they must have dated.

"Oh fuck me, Peter. I love it," Bryce said, "I missed you so much. Fuck my ass. I love it.. I love you! Fuck me!"

What the fuck? I thought .. Bryce loves my boyfriend? I didn't say a word though. I was a little jealous as Peter was jabbing his big dick into Bryce instead of me. Then Peter realized I was feeling left out; and he told me to lick Bryce's balls while he fucked him. So, I did. I told Peter "I want you to fuck me too." And Peter said "yeah, just hang on .. I will in a minute." But then, he came inside Bryce's ass and was too tired to fuck me.

Peter gave me a very passionate kiss afterwards though. And I could tell, I was special to him and we had a bond nobody could break. I asked Peter to stay over; but he said he had to take Bryce home and the subway was no longer running.

I haven't seen Peter since then, but he has texted me every night saying he misses me and he's gonna make love to me and pound my ass again soon. I can't wait. I love him so much!

[einathens]

*rolls eyes*

[PigBreeder]

I agree with einathens.

[cumaddict71]

@orlandoneg: either kick this Peter guy out of your ass, apartment and life or, alternatively, get used to the idea that is is simply playing with you.

[cumaddict71]

rolling eyes badly here...

[incub8er]

Wow...its so nice that there is a "fiction" section on here. And although you'll never make quite enough money to own the Spreckles/Danielle Steel mansion in the Pacific Heights neighborhood of San Francisco...it is a good attempt. More importantly though... I'm surprised some people haven't been slapped for stupidity if they think this is real

[einathens]

@incub8er: read the first posting's opening paragraph.

i'm gonna guess that the author is young and inexperienced. i hope so, anyway.

love is expressed through actions, not words. i find it nowhere in the story.

[incub8er]

I did. At first I was going to say he would have been better off to have adopted a puppy...but I thought I'd be more polite.

[canail]

Well. I'd have believed young and not quite with it, and hoped it was not. Now I'm going with complete fiction. Its impossible to imagine someone that out of touch with reality, and still able to function...

[orlandoneg]

Well things were going good for a while. But now, I'm not so sure. Peter hasn't been very affectionate lately. And then the other night, he brought a new friend over to have dinner with us. Christopher is the new "friend." He's this pretty skinny guy that Peter met at work that said he just wants new friends. Well, Peter and Christopher all drank too much. And we all ended up going to bed in the same bed because Christopher didn't want be alone since he just broke up with someone and was sad and all.

I'm kinda annoyed that Peter let him Christopher sleep in the middle of the bed between me and Peter. But, I really want to trust Peter because love is all about trust. So like in the middle of the night, I wake up and hear someone moaning. I can tell it's Peter and then I hear Christopher like sucking and slurping on his dick. WFT?!?

I can see from the light coming through the window that Christopher is butt naked; and he's quickly sucking up and down on Peter's big dick. Peter rubbed his hands through his hair. I dunno why but I closed my eyes and tried to pretend nothing was going on.

Next thing is Christopher is facing me with his back to Peter. And then I hear Peter whisper , "you ready to take my big dick?" I can't beleive this. In my bed !!!

"Are you clean?" Christopher asked?

"Oh yeah," Peter answered. Maybe I didn't hear them right because they were whispering?

"Here it comes," Peter told him. And then I heard Christopher gasp for breatth. I felt the bed moving. And I should have said something but I was just stunned.

So Christopher asked, "what about your boyfriend?" and Peter says, " oh don't worry. he can sleep through anything."

I dont know why but I shut my eyes tighter thinking maybe I wouldnt hear as much somehow. That was stupid, I know. Before I knew it, the bed was really rocking and Christopher was practically screaming right beside me, "oh fuck! god yes! fuck my ass!"

I heard slapping sounds. I guess Peter was really pounding Christopher. And then what Peter said really make me mad, "yeah, I knew you'd like it. I love ur ass. So fucking tight. Take it, baby, take it all!"

The bed was rocking so hard that I almost thought I would fall off. I was in tears. The love of my life is fucking some guy right beside me and they are so loud. I feel so retarded.

"I'm going to cum!" Peter told Christopher and Christopher was all begging for it now, "yeah, cum in my ass! I want your cum now!"

The bed felt like it was going to fall apart. I heard quick slapping noises and they both moaned loudly. I knew Peter was cumming. That's the sound he always makes. And then a few moments later, they were done and still. I don't know if Christopher came or what.

They must have passed out bc it got all silent. I laid awake for like 2 hours trying to decide what to stay and do. When I woke up, Christopher was gone; and Peter was already at work. This is bullshit. I think I'm really gonna end it this time!!!

[jcklvrga]

This is one fuked up story, hehe.... but you're not going to end it are you?