Why is he like that?

[bigdick4you]

Been dating this guy for almost a year now..... And we have been having this on off long distance relationship.... We have had lots of issues due to jealousy issues from both sides.... I try to show him that I care... But somehow it's like he holds back and is afraid of showing his emotions.... To be honest that is something that puts me off as being a Latino .... I love to show my emotions.... Although I'm a total top.... I'm not ashamed to admit that I cry with certain movies and am an emotional human being.... His father is very ill at the moment and I can tell that he ic very concerned about it.... I show him my support and have offered to be with him something he declines....I told him it was ok to break down with me.... But he told me not to count on it.... I feel somewhat hurt as I'm opening up to him and offering him my friendship and support and it's like he has to keep this tough facade.... For what I wonder?

[not_sure_bb]

dont get upset cause he doesnt want to show emotion. its not your fault he doesnt want to, its just not his way. you cant force someone to be more emotional, its how they are wired.

[Guest BBSeroMan]

This guy is not good enough for you. Dump his uncommitted ass now and cut your loses. Find a guy that can at least meet you half way emotionally. Cast that line back into the sea. Good luck.

[BrotherDeposit]

"Stupid's coming, cross the street!"

[pipesmokin'manfucker]

I betcha the reasons he doesn't rise to your expectations have little or nothing to do with you but rather with other pressing issues which burden him, like worry over his father's illness. As not_sure_bb said, it's impossible to force people to be emotional, or to be anything else, for that matter. Me, I think we run a big risk to getting our feelings badly mauled and maimed if we don't take people as they are and instead try to refashion them into the way we'd like them to be.

[rubio2001]

I have been that guy who has had someone encourage me to open myself and bring them into the fold because they wanted to 'support' me. That's fine, and actually a natural response for most people as they want to be a good friend or loved one. However, there are times when someone wants to be alone that have NOTHING to do with you and they just want to be left to their own thoughts. If someone is going through a crisis and YOU are actually getting upset at that person because they aren't fully bringing you fully into their emotional place, then you are just burdening them even more. I speak from experience. I had a very close friend/lover who saw me go through the lose of someone very close to me and I nicely told him that I just wanted to be left alone with this one issue and all of a sudden he's mad at me because I wouldn't let him 'help me' with my loss. Basically it all became about him at and his needs instead of just recognizing that I just wanted to be left alone for a while. It ended with me telling him just to get the hell out of my life because at a time when I was already suffering I had to deal with him feeling hurt just because I wanted to be left alone. Give your new boyfriend a break and really question why has this became an issue for you to be upset at him, when HE'S the one who is going through loss at the moment.

[einathens]

so you're in a short-term, long-distance, on-again-off-again part time relationship marked by mutual jealousy, incompatible communication styles and differing levels of emotional involvement with a guy who has told you that he's not gonna change and you should back off.

how much more clearly do you need to be told?

he's asked you to leave him alone. i think you should. wish him well and move on.

you sound more like a stalker than a boyfriend.

[losttop]

He has not asked me to leave him alone as he contact me himself.... I'm just wondering if I can be with someone who can not open up emotionally as I'm the opposite.... A emotional movie can make me cry.... I'm a top in the bedroom and am verbal but I also have my emotional side when I'm with the one I care about....

[not_sure_bb]

so you're in a short-term, long-distance, on-again-off-again part time relationship marked by mutual jealousy, incompatible communication styles and differing levels of emotional involvement with a guy who has told you that he's not gonna change and you should back off.

How much more clearly do you need to be told?

He's asked you to leave him alone. I think you should. Wish him well and move on.

You sound more like a stalker than a boyfriend.

yup..........

[Guest bbosouno]

You can't make people "change." They can slightly "modify" themselves but thats about it. I hate to tell you but long distance relationships do not work - I 've been in one and, looking back, it was a complete waste of time, more a waste of emotional time. Here's some thoughts for you 1) If neither are willing to relocate for the other person, please end it now 2) Jealousy is inevitable because...well...neither are there to be with each other and the mind "assumes the worse." 3) Because neither are close by, there's always one partner who checks up on the other almost constantly which ties in with the jealousy issue...you will come across as needy & clingy which will turn off the other almost completely.

[PigBreeder]

I think you know what you need to know...long distance, a year, lots of issues and jealousy....it's time to hang it up. This won't get better.

[fisterm8]

id walk away now if i were in your shoes......sorry for being honest.

[rawtuscany]

In a buddism way, you have only to lookinf for "happiness" in your life and his life... It doesnt mean that you dont soffer but dont take personally maybe tjis will be the choice that he expexted to d with someone.. stay close to him and rexpect his choice, if you seed good karma it ll be back at you...