The Help I Wish I'd Had

[decg31]

PART 1

I don't remember when I first noticed his profile on BBRTS, but he was just my type: early 30s, boyish physique, nice round ass, big cock. I was like that at his age. Now I'm a decade older, more muscular and leaner.

I messaged him a few times suggesting we hook up. Each time he said he wanted to, but made some lame excuse for why he couldn't just then, and said he hoped we'd do it another time. I noticed that he checked out my profile frequently when I wasn't on. My profile says I'm undetectable and I have no preference as to status. His said "ask me" for both. This was behaviour I recognized.

The next time we messaged, it was the same routine. But this time, after he made another lame excuse, I took things in a different direction. This was our exchange of messages:

me: I don't think that's really the reason you're putting me off.

him: What do you mean?

me: I think the real reason is that you're neg and you have a major internal conflict - you're obsessed by barebacking, but you're terrified of where your desire could lead you. You want it bare so bad, but you're too afraid to give in, afraid to end up poz. At the same time, there's a secret part of you that actually wants to end up poz, so this conflict would end, so you could live an authentic sexual life as a promiscuous barebacker. But you're ashamed of that part of you and often wish it would go away; that you could just find a partner to be exclusive with and leave this desire behind. Am I right?

him: Yeah. How did you know? It's like you read my mind.

me: I went through the same thing. Lots of guys on here have. The next thing I'm supposed to do is to say: it's cool, that I won't pressure you, but that if you ever want to chat about it, including in person with no sexual obligation, I'm open to that. But when I was in your situation, that's not what I wanted. I wanted to be pressured. I wanted help getting over the conflict. And I would like to help you, if that's where you are too.

him: I don't know … I think it probably is where I am, but I don't know if I'm ready.

me: Here's what I want you to do for now: as I'm sure you know, since I'm undetectable, there's very little chance you would convert if we fucked bare. I want you to get yourself some fresh poppers and I want you to use them while jacking off to my profile. At the same time I want you to think about the fact that you could take my cock bare in your ass, you could take my seed without confronting all your fear. I want you to tell yourself "I can do that", and see how it feels. That's all for now. Will you do that?

him: I've never done poppers before.

me: Give them a try. Look up the potential side effects if you're concerned and then do what I suggest.

him: Okay, well no promises.

me: I'm not asking you to do much.

him: No, I understand that. I'll try.

me: Good. Chat soon.

With that, I logged off, confident of where this would lead.

To be continued …

[TwinkBoi4Daddy]

Wow...that sounds EXACTLY like where I am out. I didn't think anyone understood. :blush:

[rivertimber]

Good start. Take your time to tell it right. SIR.

[loadme68]

Yep. Perfect start and all so true.

[Bttm2go]

Yes, very real.

[decg31]

PART 2

I saw him on BBRTS again a few days later. I messaged him and asked whether he had done what I suggested. He told me he had. Our exchange then was:

me: And how did it feel?

him: I shot the biggest fucking load.

me: And in that moment, did you feel like you could do it, you could let me fuck you bare and cum inside you?

him: Yeah, in that moment.

me: But afterwards you felt ashamed?

him: Yeah.

me: But then you did it again once or twice.

him: Yes.

me: Get out the poppers now and take a nice big hit. Then message me back.

him: Okay … done.

me: I'm going to fuck you today. Give me your address.

There was a long pause, but he did send me the address. I told him to keep hitting the poppers and clean out his ass. I'd be there in half an hour, then I logged off, so he wouldn't have time to back out.

When he let me in, he was clearly so anxious he was just about shaking. I put my hand on his heart and told him, "It's racing because you are afraid but also because you are excited. Let the fear go and let the excitement take over. You're finally doing this thing you've been thinking about for so long." And with that I gave him a deep tongue kiss. I felt his resistance ebb. He started feeling up my muscular body, and ultimately the cock bulge in my jeans. And then he led us to his bedroom. I had him undress me first and then I took off his clothes. Damn he looked sexy.

I had him chew on my nips, lick my pits and then suck my cock. He was a pretty good cocksucker surprisingly. Then I turned him around, and had him get on his hands and knees on the bed so I could eat out his ass. I gave him a long tonguing, with just a little bit of nibbling now and then, and had him hit the poppers a few times. He was in heat.

Then I turned him on his back, put a pillow under his butt and put his ankles on my shoulders. I told him, "I'm only going to use a little lube. As you'll see, one of the benefits of bare fucking is that your ass juice and my precum are going to be enough to keep us going." Then I put just a little bit of gun oil on my cock, while he watched intently. Then I said, "Now I want you to take a hit of the poppers and watch closely as I push into you. This is what you've wanted so badly. Look how hot it looks when a big bare cock is sliding into your own ass."

He did as I said. His ass felt great. Neither tight as a virgin, nor loose like a confirmed slut. He'd clearly been fucked a fair amount before, and knew how to take it without much difficulty. I stared into his eyes and said, "It feels fucking great, doesn't it?". "Yeah, " he said, "really great."

I fucked him that way for a while, then switched to a few different positions, having him take my cock ass to mouth a couple of times to bring home to him that we were really doing this bare. Then I had him back on his back and told him I wanted him to look at my face 'cause I was going to shoot my cum inside him. The look on his face as I got close was great. He was clearly very excited. I thought about what I had planned for this boy, grunted and squirted out a nice big load, deep at first but making sure to leave some of it shallow.

I stayed in for a bit, then slipped out. He was in a state of bliss. I told him to start jerking himself off. As he did so, I fingered a little of my load out and had him suck on it. Then I told him to stick his own finger in and feel my cum in his ass. As he did so, he shot -- high enough to reach his shoulder. I lapped up some of it and gave him a deep kiss.

We lay there for a while. And I told him that however good he felt now, however proud of himself, later on he would probably feel shame and regret. "It's natural," I said. "But you will go back to thinking about how hot this was and wanting to do it again," I told him, "and we are going to do it again, and after a few times you won't experience the shame and regret anymore." To which he just nodded.

To be continued …

[GreenChaser]

I can't wait for part 3

[decg31]

PART 3

It took a bit of pressure, and he did back out once or twice, but I got him to fuck again. After a couple of weeks I could tell he was getting pretty comfortable with the situation. I even got him to flip a couple of times and shoot his neg load in my ass. He wasn't a natural top, but had potential.

After one of our sessions, I asked him, "So, have you been fucked bare by anyone else?" He replied he he had not. "Why not?" I asked. "It makes me nervous," he said. "But you think about it a lot, don't you? Especially when you're cumming" which I put more as a statement than a question. He admitted he did. "I have a fuckbuddy Tom, who is also undetectable," I said. "I think he would like you and I think you would like him. For our next session, I'm going to invite him to join." Even though he had just cum, I could see his cock stiffen at the prospect.

I told Tom what I was up to, and he was open to the opportunity, so I set up a meeting at my place the following weekend. I had Tom come over early and we had a beer and made out while we waited for our new initiate to arrive. Tom is mid 30s, medium-to-short height and built like a football player. Tom's cock is of medium length, but very thick, and he has a very muscular ass. When he arrived, I could see he liked Tom and was turned on by the situation. I told him to undress and show us his boyish body. He was nervous, but I think he liked doing a little striptease for us. His cock was rock hard. I had him turn around, bend over and show us his hole. Tom and I took our cocks out and started stroking them. I told him to do a hit of poppers and tell Tom what kind of sex he likes. As he stared at Tom's cock, he replied "I like bare fucking. I like to slide my raw cock in a guy's hole; I like the feel of a raw cock in my ass; I also love it when a guy cums inside me; that feels like exactly how sex should be for me."

"You've also been thinking about other raw cocks, haven't you?" I asked. He nodded. "Why don't you ask Tom about what he likes?" I said. He did as I instructed. I told him to go over and suck on Tom's cock while he got his answer. Tom said, "I'm your basic poz bareback slut. I only fuck raw; I only get fucked raw; I particularly like getting loaded by a group of guys and feeling my ass so full of their cum that it leaks down my leg; and I love just watching a bare cock fucking another slut's ass." As Tom was saying this, he was reaching around to stroke and finger our new initiate's ass. Tom and I then took turns eating him out, each shucking our clothing while the other ate ass. While I was rimming, Tom said, "Damn you've got a beautiful ass; it tastes great; and it looks great with a tongue deep in it." Looking-up from the ass I was eating, I said it was about time Tom got to explore that fine ass with his bare cock.

I fed the boy a big hit of poppers while Tom slid in from behind. As they got into the rhythm, I asked how it felt to be fucked by a second bare cock. "Different," he said, "thicker than you, and with a different style." I told him that it was good for him to understand that different bare tops felt different. Variety, after all, is the spice of life. I told him that you can really tell the difference without the discomfort of latex in the way.

After a while, Tom pulled out to let me in, and he sucked Tom's cock, his first spit roasting. We traded a few times, in different positions, then while I was fucking him, I pulled out and said, "Before either of us cums in you, I want to show you something, I want you to see what two poz guys barebacking looks like."

Tom presented his ass to me, and I gave it a good licking, before sliding my already slick dick inside. Tom was moaning in ecstasy, and he was mesmerized. "Look how free and in the moment Tom looks as I ride him, " I said, "he's not conflicted at all." Tom looked at our initiate, smiled and grunted in assent. "I'm like that too," I said, "and I wouldn't have it any other way."

After a bit, I had him switch with me fucking Tom. While he was doing so, I slid into his ass for a little daisy chain. He came in Tom's ass almost immediately. Clearly he had been really turned on by our little show.

When he'd recovered, I told him I wanted him to take Tom's load followed by mine. He was a little over-sensitive after having shot, but he took it like a man. Tom had him on his back on the carpet, looking in his eyes really lustfully. Tom tensed up, and then blew big time.

When Tom recovered, he withdrew, and I cleaned Tom's cock, sharing its taste with the boy. Then I slid in for my final thrusts. "Your ass is slick with cum," I said as I looked deeply in his eyes, "with the cum of another barebacker … like you." As he smiled, I shot deep into him.

The three of us cuddled for a while. I told the two of them they seemed to have really good chemistry, and they should definitely exchange numbers and try fucking as a twosome. Tom planted a big kiss on him and said he'd like that very much.

To be continued …

Edited June 11, 2013 by Hotload84

[SpanishCumdump1979]

Very hot story!! Loving it!! Can't wait for the next installment!!

[Guest JizzDumpWI]

Woof, great story so far...

[Guest mikey2]

Great writing - keep it cumming!

[hole4cocks]

I'm like him in the beginning. Looking forward to progressing into an even bigger cumdump

[decg31]

PART 4

I heard from Tom later that the two of them were fucking regularly. I still was too. I encouraged a few of my other fuckbuddies to approach him on BBRTS as well. I told them he was skittish, but he responded well to assertiveness. To my surprise and delight, he did hook up with a couple of them who were undetectable, but he avoided the ones who weren't.

After a few weeks, I asked him at the end of one of our sessions whether he'd ever been to the baths. "A couple of times, " he said. "And what happened?" I asked. "I was too shy and nervous, nothing happened." "You were turned on by the atmosphere, though weren't you?" I told him. He nodded. I told him the next time we got together I was going to take him there, it would be good for him.

On the appointed day, we met in a coffee shop. He was visibly nervous. I told him to relax, that he was going to have the same good time we always had, just in an environment that would heighten the sexual charge, in close proximity to other rutting men.

We walked over to the baths, down the stairs, and I booked us a room. I left the condoms offered on the counter, and guided him by the ass through the door. This was a place I knew well. I picked it because it was the bathhouse in town where there was lots of barebacking. Many of the patrons were tweakers and other users. That had never been my thing, but it meant the action was rather uninhibited. It also meant a fair number of the men were always newly poz.

I led him around for a bit before taking him to our room so he could get a feel for the scene. When we got to the room, I told him to take off his clothes, and that we would go take a shower before coming back to fuck. He was still nervous, but the tour around must have accomplished its purpose, as his cock was standing to attention.

We put on towels and flip flops and headed to the showers. It was hot to see the other guys checking him out while he showered, but he was too shy to check them out in return. I made a mental note of one guy who showed a particular fancy for him, visibly stroking his meat while trying to make eye contact. He looked a bit rough, but in a sexy way. As we left, I whispered something in the guy's ear.

We went back to the room and started getting down to business. I got him to confess that the smell of sweat and poppers and cum turned him on. It also turned him on to think of how many guys had fucked each other on this bed, in this room.

After a while I pulled out, and told him I wanted to try something different. He looked perplexed. I said, there's a place in here called the shooting gallery, where guys line up to get their cocks sucked. It's not very busy now, but there might be a little action there and I think you will enjoy watching while you're sucking my cock. Then we can come back here and I'll seed you. He looked a bit anxious, but I knew by now he was going to go along with what I wanted.

I took him over to the shooting gallery. In fact, it was empty. I told him not to worry, that sooner or later a few others would come along. I positioned him on one side, and went around to the raised platform to offer him my cock.

After he sucked me for a while, I saw the guy from the showers lurking in the distance. I took my cock out of his mouth and told him to stay where he was. I walked around to the other side, behind him, and took off his towel. Before he could react, I slid my cock in his ass. As he was getting used to the fucking, the guy from the showers stepped onto the platform and offered him his cock to suck. I was glad to see he took it.

While he was being spit roasted, out in the open, the guy from the showers fed him a few hits of poppers. I could feel him relaxing into the moment. I nodded to the guy, who then removed his cock, and came around behind to join us. I lifted my new initiate up to look at him. "Can I fuck you?" the guy asked. He turned around and looked at me. "You should say 'yes'," I said, as I removed my cock from his ass. "Yes," he said very softly. The guy assumed the position, and slid in his cock. I fed them each a hit of poppers, and then returned to the platform to get my cock sucked, encouraging them on in their fucking. In a while the guy said, "I'm gonna fucking shoot," and bucked in his ass. He then slid out, wiped off, thanked him for the fuck and left.

I let him suck my cock for a bit, then removed that and took him back to our room. He was trembling. So I got him on his back, soothed him for a bit, tasted the stranger on his ass and then slid myself back in. "It was really hot seeing you go for it like that," I said, "particularly when you didn't know his status." He looked at me, lost in the fuck, and after a while said, "I guess I've crossed a line there." I started thrusting harder, probably as hard as I had with him. In hindsight I think I wanted to rough him up a little to let that guy's cum seep in. I guided his hand to his throbbing prick. I stared in his eyes and told him, "You did cross a line, and I'm fucking proud of you, in time you're going to be a real barebacker, a poz barebacked like me." And with that, I added my own load to the stranger's, and he jerked and shot all over himself at the same time.

When we'd come down from the orgasm, I told him that as before it was likely that he'd experience episodes of shame and regret, but as before, the hotness of what he'd done would help him overcome those feelings, and drive him back for more, drive him back to his true sexual self.

I was right about that. He put me off with lame excuses for a couple of weeks after our adventure at the baths. I let it go a couple of times, then I confronted him with it. He told me that he felt he should stop this, that it was going to far. I told him, "I've seen you being fucked bare and I know that you are not going to be able to stop doing it forever. Maybe you could for a while. But eventually you will give into your desire in the same way you did when you realized you were gay. It's just who you are. And that means that one day you will convert. You will end up poz. And I predict that when you do, your only regrets will be about the years you sought to deny yourself to yourself." He said he'd think about what I had to say. After a few days he and I hooked up, and he told me he realized I was right about him. Entirely.

I took him back to the baths a few more times after that. The next time I got us a sling room and left the door open. A few guys joined in. The time after, I fucked him in the steam room and a few others followed. The third time, I coaxed him into the orgy room and he must have taken 10 loads.

After that, he didn't need me to take him, and started going to the baths on his own. And he stopped status selecting for hook ups. He converted after about 8 months. By then he wasn't afraid of it anymore. He accepted it was going to happen. He'd already told me that he was grateful for my help, that he'd become a lot less shy and anxious generally in his life, and ready to be a man. In fact, he ended up together with Tom, and they're married now. They're one of those couples who truly respect each other's sexuality. They play together and apart, fucking when they want to, and enjoying the other's slutty escapades.

I told him that if he was really grateful for what I'd done, the best thing he could do to honour it was to do the same for someone else, which he has promised to do.

[cumbro]

This is so incredibly like all the feelings I've ever had. I do worry that I'm headed for a poz life. I wish I thought that life was as easy as it sounds on bbrts. Still, I know I would be just like the kid in this story. Hot.

[ChaserBoysRHot]

Hot story. Should be required reading for all young gay bottoms!