An acceptable case of stealthing

[Jim Sien]

I've been barebacking for over 4 decades . I've been very lucky not to catch any thing too serious. That said. Stealthing is just wrong . No excuse for it. No one has the right to do that to any one else.

[neg4poz]

hole2use and bbibbpark - I never said the bottom SHOULD be stealthed or raped - I said it should come as no surprise to him if it happens - and for the record I am neg and couldnt knock up a fly if I wanted to -

bath houses and sex play spaces are REQUIRED by law to offer condoms and post safe sex public messages - but we ALL know there is a written code of play in certain places ie: blacked out dark "back rooms" - you cant tell me with a straight face that you think its RESPONSIBLE behavior for a safe only bottom to be throwing his ass up in the air in a dark backroom - its just bullshit - AGAIN there is a MILLION places you can persue your safe sex practices - its just fucking rude that you think you have the right to make demands on places where you know the boys are playing hardball - its all the fuck about you right?

I am clean and sober for over 25 years - I like to play hardball - with that I make choices to visit blacked out places where PNP is often ongoing - drug use isnt even legal like barebacking is - but I wouldnt have the audacity to think I have the right to infringe on the norm of play space - if someone is partying in a method that I can be exposed ie: drugs that are smoked and exhailed then I remove myself from the space until the air clears - I am not so self centered to think that even illegal activity must halt on my behalf - its not all about me - nor is it all about you guys - you guys are either just stupid - self centered - or extremely immature to think the world needs to cater to your preferences - ITS A FUCKING BLACKED OUT PIG ROOM - its not YOUR BEDROOM - there are certain protocol that you want to pretend that doesnt exist or that need to parish upon your presence - just fucking foolishness - AGAIN this discussion is about RESPECT - you want your nonbareback choices to be respected but you want to infringe on the space of others - GO SOMEWHERE ELSE - the other MILLIONS of places where barebacking isnt the norm - and RESPECT the blacked out playspaces for what they are!

[hole2use]

you cant tell me with a straight face that you think its RESPONSIBLE behavior for a safe only bottom to be throwing his ass up in the air in a dark backroom - its just bullshit - AGAIN there is a MILLION places you can persue your safe sex practices - its just fucking rude that you think you have the right to make demands on places where you know the boys are playing hardball - its all the fuck about you right?

I'm not about to get into a war over my position on this because I know I'm right. Deep down you know this too. Let me just say this...it's not wrong for any bottom to "DEMAND" a condom regardless of the location of the sex act just as it's not wrong for the top to "DEMAND" bareback. Sex is about chemistry. If condoms turn you off and the bottom wants to use one then I suppose the "CHEMISTRY" isn't there and you should move on to another dude. It doesn't matter if you are bottom, top, middle, sideways, diagonal....whatever...nobody gets to decide for someone else and nobody gets to demand "no condoms in the dark room" unless it is a rule of the establishment.

I too am a neg bottom and I only bareback. I hate condoms. If a neg only, condom demanding bottom is in the dark room he's not going to get much attention anyway. Eventually he'll just leave. I've never been to a dark room where condom demanding bottoms stole the show. Dark room tops are on the hunt for hole to breed, not latex. I say just get over it and get laid for God's sake. Why the fuck does anyone ever care about someone demanding a condom. Move on!

[hungry_hole]

OK. I agree with respecting the choice of a bottom to always have the top wear a condom when he get's fucked. But I'm divided when it has to do with the fact that it happened in a darkroom. Stealthing, that is, secretly shooting cum inside a bottom's hole, NOT INFECTING, it's a pretty hot scene for many guys. And, as it is with many other fantasies, we want to be able to realize them so we go to sex clubs, darkrooms, gloryholes and saunas to explore, watch, and maybe experience all kinds of fantasies.

neg4poz says:

couldnt disagree more - AGAIN - you dont get to cry rape in a dark room full of pigs with your loose sloppy asshole open and your legs in the air - theres a million other SAFE places for you to play - I'm ALL for everyones right to bareback or not to bareback - but with those choices you still have RESPONSIBILTY - choosing to climb on a fuck bench in a dark GROUP room in a bath house with a bunch of partying men IS NOT A RESPONSIBLE CHOICE FOR A NONBAREBACKER -

you dont get to walk out in the middle of a baseball game and demand that everyones plays softball - ITS UNREASONABLE - get the fuck off the field and go to a softball game - or sit quietly in the grandstands and be a spectator - but dont walk to the center of the field and prop your ass on the pitchers mound and not expect to get beaned by a line drive - its UNREASONABLE and UNRESPONSIBLE

Then, he reiterates:

hole2use and bbibbpark - I never said the bottom SHOULD be stealthed or raped - I said it should come as no surprise to him if it happens - and for the record I am neg and couldnt knock up a fly if I wanted to -

... - AGAIN this discussion is about RESPECT - you want your nonbareback choices to be respected but you want to infringe on the space of others - GO SOMEWHERE ELSE - the other MILLIONS of places where barebacking isnt the norm - and RESPECT the blacked out playspaces for what they are!

Let's assume that this bottom in the bench did get stealthed and went to the sex clinic weeks later to get tested because he was worried that he may have been infected. I doubt he would tell the nurse at the clinic the truth of where and how the stealthing happened. And if he did tell the truth to the nurse, being in the fuck bench in a darkroom, I'm sure the nurse would suggest to stay away from these high-risk activities.

What is the answer to neg4poz's and my question: What are the places then for X-sex, where everything goes, where fantasies run wild? Darkrooms in saunas could be one of such places. Although I can understand that a bottom who wants condoms may also want to use the bench in the darkroom. I'm divided on this issue.

[hole2use]

What is the answer to neg4poz's and my question: What are the places then for X-sex' date=' where everything goes, where fantasies run wild? Darkrooms in saunas could be one of such places. Although I can understand that a bottom who wants condoms may also want to use the bench in the darkroom. I'm divided on this issue.[/quote']

The answer to that question is...your imagination. There's always going to be some top or bottom demanding a condom or someone who is not as piggy as the others. Unless you're able to invite an endless stream of men into your home you will never find this. Even in your own home most men are going to have limits that differentiate from your own.

I've posted ads on craigslist for anon walk in sex. Usually every time there is one top who says he wants to bb then chickens out and brings a condom. Of course, then he gets no ass either.

[enduranceslut]

It's attitudes like this that make rape such a problem.

No

No, No, No, No, No, No

Consent requires active participation from both parties.

That said, I know there are guys who WANT to be taken advantage of when they are helpless/pretending to be helpless. They want to give up their participation in the act so in their minds they aren't really saying they want your raw load. They want you to take their decision away. These guys need to man the fuck up and say "give me your load." You don't need to help them continue to be wusses about the whole situation.

I'm one of those wusses. My fetish is being used anonymously, having power taken away from me and letting what will happen happen. I've been in the situation where I want to sero sort in this scenario, and the guys that use me who have told me they are neg are actually poss. Is this unacceptable or am I getting what I wanted subconsciously?

[Hotload84]

I'm one of those wusses. My fetish is being used anonymously, having power taken away from me and letting what will happen happen. I've been in the situation where I want to sero sort in this scenario, and the guys that use me who have told me they are neg are actually poss. Is this unacceptable or am I getting what I wanted subconsciously?

I think the (poz?) top in the situation you've described, Enduranceslut, is in the clear. Your remarks suggest both you, the bottom, and the top, both are aware of the potential outcomes, and you both accept the risks. The issue is more when one is not willing to accept the risks, and the sexual partner disregards the explicit (and implicit) limitations.

[enduranceslut]

It was two 'neg' guys