Administrators rawTOP Posted June 21, 2013 Administrators Report Share Posted June 21, 2013 My boyfriend and I are thinking of having a party with just our gay friends while some (gay) friends are in from out-of-town next month. Not all our gay friends know I work in porn and even fewer know the sites I run. I've sorta put a limit of only gay friends who know, or would be cool with knowing, that I work in gay porn. Since it'll be a rather accepting crowd I'm wondering whether I should invite a few of the guys I've fucked who seemed like they could be more than fuck buddies. The guys I'm thinking of are a pretty select list - they're guys I've had decent conversations with, who I think would mix well with our friends. Still, the guys are more fuck buddies than friends and if one of our friends asked "So how do you know [insert my name here]?" The answer could be rather humorous/revealing. I mean my bf and I are pretty open about having an open relationship, but still… So I'm wondering how many of you have made similar transitions with your fuck buddies? One issue is my boyfriend. I can see these sorts of transitions would be easier if I were single. Hell, if I were single I'd throw a party with just fuck buddies - it could be fun But mixing fuck buddies with "real friends" is the issue I'm wondering about… Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
einathens Posted June 21, 2013 Report Share Posted June 21, 2013 the transition? i guess it depends on which part is more important-- the 'fuck' part or the 'buddies' part? some guys i sleep with, we only see each other for sex, and that's okay. some i wouldn't mind for a social engagement, and one or two i imagine dating. that's the cool thing about the word 'friend.' it's elastic and can mean many things. if you're worried about your porn friends spilling the beans to your other friends, ask them ahead of time to say 'we met socially, mutual friends' or something like 'seems like i've known him forever. can't really remember how we met.' and if that makes you nervous, have 2 smaller gatherings on different nights. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators rawTOP Posted June 21, 2013 Author Administrators Report Share Posted June 21, 2013 BTW, I mentioned including fuck buddies to my bf - he's fine with it, curiously. He was just bemoaning that the few fuck buddies he's had probably wouldn't show up. So we'll see... I'll mix in a few and see how it goes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pisstopper Posted June 21, 2013 Report Share Posted June 21, 2013 My partner and I have debated this issue in the past, but we now regularly mix our more socially inclined fuckbuds (his, mine, and ours) with our other gay friends in a variety of social settings. It hasn't really been that big of a deal in the end and we've tended to defer to our buddies judgment about any "meeting stories" if they feel they want one. It probably has more to do with the fact that we are extremely open about the "open relationship" with each other and with our gay friends. We are sometimes a bit more hesitant about mixing fuckbuds with straight friends who might not quite get the cultural significance and nuance of what we consider normally functioning gay make sexuality. But I'd say do it. I'm often surprised the social connections that reveal themselves when fuckbuds you imagine in your mind as shut off from the rest of the world are in fact just as diversely attached as we are ourselves Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TigerMilner Posted June 22, 2013 Report Share Posted June 22, 2013 I had a similar concern just last week. A former fuck buddy who I am now friends with just broke up with his partner, who is close friends with my best client. My best client knows me as a famous artist, but not as a cumwhore, amatuer porn guy with a blog. My former fuck buddy showed his partner my blog about 6 months ago. Now I know his partner will gossip. My best client is a monogamous gay couple who I think will not approve. Tangled web. I've wondered when I go to parties at their house if anyone there knows me like you guys know me. I have fun with it in my own mind, but it has never affected my business life before. We will just have to see. I've already got my response about how many well known artists have done porn, i.e., Andy Warhol, Jeff Koons. I'm also showing in a group show of all nudes this fall, and my pieces are all going to be self portraits, and my best client is on the board of directors of the art center where it will be. So i guess I'm starting to blur the lines myself. I just hope I spin it right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CashSpreadem Posted June 22, 2013 Report Share Posted June 22, 2013 It's a small world, Most friends know my partner and I have an semi open relationship in the terms that a couple that plays together stays together. This has caused us to run into fuck buddies and even one time hook ups at friends parties. Most wait for us to either say Hello before admitting they know us or if the host introduces us will act like its a first time meeting its a very small percent that say oh yeah we have fucked before. Most gossip at least for us comes from people that we don't want to hook up with or just jealous of our relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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