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If I'm going to his place, which doesn't happen very often given the nature of public transport here, I make sure that two different friends will call me on the mobile fairly early on in the evening (I want to fuck not play secretary). If I'm erm... receiving it's a single phone call which gives me an excuse to blutack a reminder note to my monitor to contact someone.

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Guest JizzDumpWI

My wise brothers in barebacking have excellent responses so far. Could not have said that better...

What I would add... Limit what you have with you... Leave your wallet itself at home. Take ONLY essential documents, only the cash you know you'll need. At most one credit card. Take a photocopy, or write down details of the docs you're taking (including serial numbers on bills) and leave that in a place you can find it when you get back home. If you have to, give up ALL of what you brought with you.

If you have a smartphone; install at a minimum LOOKOUT. Set it up so that you can access it remotely to destroy your phones function if it is taken. If you have stronger financial resources, get a burner phone from Walmart you can take with you - not your primary phone.

Depending on circumstance; a note on your desk. If the guy is coming to your place; send a buddy an email with the details as you know them. As has been menntioned, let the bud know WHERE you'll be going; but if you don't know where, all other information you have will work in your behalf.

Scope your your locations. Take some energy to consider escape plans. Be observant.

Finally, but this has been menitoned, TRUST YOUR GUT. Give doubt its due; most of us have that in us; but many choose to ignore it, often to theri regret. So trust yourself the most....

Edited by JizzDumpWI
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Guest JizzDumpWI

I only had one bad experience with a guy I invited over. He was a druggie (Didn't know it before he showed). Spent the entire night and into the next day trying to get him to leave, through threats he made to kill himself, kill me; etc... I finally convinced him we would go to his dealer, got him out of my apartment and into car. We drove to some designated spot where he got out to meet up his dealer. I got the hell out of there.

He was so wasted when he showed I am sure there was no way he could find my place again; and I never saw him again.

I was in my 20's. And fortunately except for the scare, nothing came of it. But I was damn GLAD to get him out of my apartment. And that made me HUGELY more cautious...

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I am in a long-term open relationship & this has provided me with an automatic checking mechanism. If I'm at home with guest we have pre-defined check calls & escape code phrases for assistance, & if I go out, full address and contact details of where I am going are left at home/with my partner. He also will call or message me just after I arrive at my destination giving me an out if needed and check if I need a follow up call to escape later.

That said, I still 'vet' whom I meet online thoroughly. If in doubt... (as per the other wise words before me).

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Wow, you guys plan so well. I honestly dont even think bout it and have never had a problem. Have any of you ever had a bad experience?

There was a highly manipulative guy (who, it turned out had just done 4 years for manslaughter). He broke one of my teeth, when I tried to leave, he was suddenly HIV+ and needed help. Discussed what had happened with people who knew him better and he was apparently experimenting with breath control, and they believe he simply took it into his head to discover what it felt like to kill someone.

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There was a highly manipulative guy (who, it turned out had just done 4 years for manslaughter). He broke one of my teeth, when I tried to leave, he was suddenly HIV+ and needed help. Discussed what had happened with people who knew him better and he was apparently experimenting with breath control, and they believe he simply took it into his head to discover what it felt like to kill someone.

Boy! Scary!

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I used to tell someone where I was going and got the name, number, and sometimes address of where I'd be. But wanting more of the anonymous sex I slowly stopped doing it. Also because I was more expected to tell. It wasn't really a choice. And when I did try letting someone know where I was my phone never sent the text (fuck you sprint) and he worried the next morning and claimed he never got the text. It's a mixed bag for me. I like the idea more of having it come up on the computer screen and a clever message like, "Oh crap I died. Give everything to "So and so"." I don't do anonymous much anymore. But I think if I were to do it again I'd probably let someone know where I was.

And if I need a good scare I can just watch cruising. The first opening scene with the boy tied up and stabbed repeatedly..that killed me wanting to hook up for 6 months..hate that movie because of that scene..

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