Getting attached to my fuck buddy

[mike258]

I've posted before about how I regularly fuck this one guy. He's my second encounter with a guy and my first male fuck buddy. I've said before how I like that with him, sex is simple and straightforward (no pun intended). We have a few beers, we go back to my place (or occasionally his place), fuck like dogs in heat, then we leave and meet up again some other time. He's opened me up to trying different shit (like sucking cock and rimming), but I still consider myself mostly straight.

That being said, and I kind of hate to admit this even to myself, but I think I'm getting attached. Not so much in the sense that I want to have a relationship with him, but in the sense that I'm starting to get feel a little possessive. I think he knows what we do is just about making each other cum, but there's a part of me that's starting to feel like his mouth, cock, and ass belong to me. I usually like to dominate him when we fuck, and this last time I put my hand around his throat and asked him "you fucking anybody else?" and he said "no, sir". It's what we do, but I don't know if he knows I was kind of being serious. One other way I know I'm getting attached is because I'm getting to the point now where if he's fucking someone else, I don't want anything to do with him. I've always felt like that when I really liked a girl, so it's freaking me out a bit to find I have those same feelings for this guy.

Has this happened to anybody else? Falling for your fuck buddy?

[Guest GoodExercise]

Yes, it has happened to me (but not recently). The fuck buddy thing can stay NSA or become more complicated. I think that it is common (but perhaps not the majority of cases) for one of the FBs to develop some kind of feelings for the other -- almost always unrequited.

[F71]

I would say it has happened to everybody. Right now my number 1 btm can make me really horny and when I fuck him I want to keep going all night long. I already have a bf, so the best option is he stays just a hole and I fuck him regularly.

[pozbear]

I hate to tell you guys, but if I were the bottom in this relationship and you grabbed my throat and said, "Is anyone else fucking you?" I'd lie. I'd consider it a part of the play and a part of the scene. I'd say, "No sir, my hole is just for your cock."

Unless we sit down and have an serious talk about our relationship, then a lie is all you're getting. And honestly, if you have a girlfriend or boyfriend, do you seriously expect me to curb my sexual activity so that my hole is just available to you?

So you get to fuck whomever you want and I don't? Some guys might be into this kind of relationship, I'm not. I'm not into the whole "you're just a hole" thing anyway. I'm happy to bend over and take it, get gang banged on all fours whatever, and I'm willing to play a role during the sexual relationship, but if you're going to start getting into the "you're just a hole" to me, then you'd better be a damned good top, have a great dick, and give me the kind of fucking that I'd cry over if I had to do without.

Otherwise, you're just a cock and any cock will do.

[pipesmokin'manfucker]

I foolishly started to get romantic notions abt. my most recent FB - he responded in contradictory ways, which confused me. Clarity returned, however, when he began thinking it was alright to abuse me verbally and play passive-agressive mindgames with me. Consequently I have no plans for any future involvement with him. Sudiev, pal; sudiev. BTW that's Lthuanian for "goodbye"...

Edited August 27, 2013 by pipesmokin'manfucker

[FatFuckPigMA]

Maybe you need to be a bit more out of the closet and ask him on a date. You know: dinner, movie, conversation...

[mike258]

I hate to tell you guys, but if I were the bottom in this relationship and you grabbed my throat and said, "Is anyone else fucking you?" I'd lie. I'd consider it a part of the play and a part of the scene. I'd say, "No sir, my hole is just for your cock."

Unless we sit down and have an serious talk about our relationship, then a lie is all you're getting. And honestly, if you have a girlfriend or boyfriend, do you seriously expect me to curb my sexual activity so that my hole is just available to you?

I don't have a girlfriend right now. He knows that. I've told him I'm not the type who just sticks his dick in everything that moves, man or woman, so he knows he's the only person I'm fucking. I slut him out fairly often, usually whenever I want, but I figure he was lying when I asked, or just giving me the answer he figured I wanted to hear. I get where you're coming from, though.

So you get to fuck whomever you want and I don't? Some guys might be into this kind of relationship, I'm not. I'm not into the whole "you're just a hole" thing anyway. I'm happy to bend over and take it, get gang banged on all fours whatever, and I'm willing to play a role during the sexual relationship, but if you're going to start getting into the "you're just a hole" to me, then you'd better be a damned good top, have a great dick, and give me the kind of fucking that I'd cry over if I had to do without.

Otherwise, you're just a cock and any cock will do.

I figure since I've got a nice sized dick, a good stroke, and he gives it up whenever I want it, that it must be something he wouldn't throw away. Even though I wouldn't want to date him as I would a woman, I'm not disrespecting him. It's just two horny men scratching an itch. He's free to do his thing and I do mine any other time. I wouldn't be hurt if he was in another relationship since he's gay and I'm not. But I guess I'm saying (and again I'll admit I'm not exactly proud of this) I've got all the dick and cum he needs. I think that's part of why I'm so rough with him, especially lately. I want to take the thought of other men right out of his mind. I usually have that same thought when I'm with women, especially women I really like, so that's why this is kind of freaking me out.

[Guest GoodExercise]

It sounds like you want to dominate him. You ought to rachet it up with the dom and rough stuff with him. Tell him you want his hole for your cock only, and that you will continue to fuck around as you see fit. Treat hm like dirt, I bet he will like it!

[bbzh]

You might be many things, but straight you are not...

especially if you are:

1) fucking guys and

2) feeling some type of emotional attachment to them.

Just sayin'.

[SlamBttm773]

Sex releases some kind of hormone, i forget the name but it sounds like oxycontin, that's like a fall-in-love chemical. Repeated sex, when it's super hot, can make you fall hard for someone.

[Guest]

hormone is called oxytocin. its release is also stimulated by nipple play, that's why some guys and women enjoy it so much

[bearbandit]

hormone is called oxytocin. its release is also stimulated by nipple play, that's why some guys and women enjoy it so much

You learn something every day. I've got a mate who likes few things more than watching a fisting movie while I rip the hell out of his tits. I've always had the bad habit of going in too hard and fast with nipple play but I've never known anyone take as much from my fingers as he does. I don't see him often since I moved south (he's about a hundred miles north of me), but he's coming over tomorrow. Explains a lot about his behaviour...

[einathens]

How do you know you have all the cock and cum he needs?

I know you're dealing with a lot of confusing stuff right now, but phrases like 'I wouldn't hurt him if....' say to me that there are circumstances in which you would hurt him and that is a red flag.

If you really like this guy, the best thing you can do for you both is honestly tell him what's going on in your heart and head and tell him you'd love to see him again in six months or so when you've worked your head out of your ass and stopped telling yourself and everyone else 'I'm straight but....'

[AnonBBottom]

I was married to a woman for over 17 years, and we have 2 wonderful children together. The entire time I was married, I knew that I was gay and played around with guys often. There were several that I became emotionally attached to at various times. The most recent when we met, we both knew it was just the sex. I was married, he had just broken up with a Boyfriend, so we were happy with being just fuckbuddies. 5 years later, the emotional attachment was very strong, my marriage was falling apart and I divorced - telling the wife that the divorce was because I am and have always been gay. 3 years later, I'm still with this guy I now call Boyfriend, I am out to my family and friends, he spends many days, nights, weekends over my house with my kids still living with ME.

We have an open relationship where we play apart from each other as well as with each other. Butt the emotional connection is definitely there with him!!

[FatFuckPigMA]

Think of it this way, how will you feel and what will you do when your fuck buddy finds a guy who is an equally good (or better?) fuck and will also go out to dinner and a movie? Remember, he can only commit to you as much as you commit to him.

It does sound like you have issues to work out, like how straight or gay are you really? You have at least sexually feeling for this person. Emotional feelings are not all that different. I advise not fucking around with the status quo or your fb's extracurricular life until you resolve some of these issues. It's not fair to him otherwise.

As for dominant/submissive scene you have going, just because a person is submissive in bed doesn't mean his desires, feelings, or rights are any less important than yours.