Do I tell him his (now) ex BF is poz?

[digger]

The problem i have with the argument for telling them is this. You didn't tell them for the last years that they were taking his loads, why now. It comes off as more petty than being helpful. I can only assume their first question would be "why didn't you tell me earlier." there is nothing to be gained now.

[JamesL100]

If "this guy" is not a nice guy then perhaps you could have mentioned that to his new partner(s) when they were getting together? Though it could appear you have your agenda or bad-mouthing someone who is clearly hot in bed with those guys. These horses went into the stable of their own accord and now the door is open after they have bolted.

The best thing is to support them through testing, diagnosis and treatment. They will appreciate your friendship much more.

Having said that, I've lost count of the number of dreadful relationships I've had where after the spit-up friends have said oh didn't you know that he's been a cunt with other guys before? I say well you could have told or warned me! Though it hasn't affected long-term friendships for me if they told me late or never, as there are other things I value in the friendship.

[hispanicdlmale]

When you make someone else's problem your own, then you have a problem too. Im a neg total top and i always bb. I know the risks. I dont need nobody to tell me i fucked a poz bttm because when you consent to bareback then you have to assume everyone is poz. If he didnt tested his bf before letting him putting inside him then sorry. That's his problem. I wouldn't say anything.

[Guest JizzDumpWI]

I would've actually told him. This isn't a light matter especially if the other guy isn't prepared for this or doesn't want HIV. And if 'this guy' isn't nice you have more reason to tell the ex bf.

I might have told him, but ten years ago so he could have made an informed choice.... As others have said you waited too long now...

[HMR89]

so, that means he shouldn't speak at all now ?

[PoZDaddYPhilly]

A couple agrees to share a bed and all sorts of things. If one becomes sick from an STD, he has an obligation to the other to tell the other. So I would think it would be fair game to ask the other what was the expectation if one or the other got an STD.

If he was getting stealthed from his partner, against his will, yes you should find a way in this conversation to make sure he learns what he needs to know.

it might present an "opportunity"... the former parter may be aware and like so many of us, wants poz cum in his hole, or variations on Barebacking partners.

[totalasspig]

I agree not telling him and let them get tested. Going back 15 years ago, this guy outright through several people accused me of passing HIV to him - it went all the way to my BF who was so aggravated he almost left. To set the record straight since the guy claimed that I "barebacked him six months ago", all of us, including my BF went for STD and HIV testing. Both my BF and I turned up negative for everything - the guys that accused me had also now developed Gonorrhea and Syphilis - me and my BF continued again to get tested every 90 days and shared our results - then we found out that an ex-boyfriend of his had done the deed - he just needed someone to blame it on and thought he could just do this to anyone - we again later found out from others that he blamed them for HIV and STDS as well. The good part was one night I was at Adonis Cinema in Philadelphia in the basement - and who's ass was taking every single dick bareback in a dark corner -- You guessed it - HIM!! After he was done getting a load in his hole, I walked up and smacked his ass ten times really hard and said "You Fucking dirty slut" and he turned and saw me and his chin dropped! - He never said a word to me again :-)

[Guest]

ALL his tests came back negative.

[Theo8]

I go with the keeping quiet; if I was one of the ex-BFs and you dropped this little bombshell on me, I'd take it out on you for not telling me sooner and possibly saving me from being infected

[BigBlackDaddy]

Tell them. Who are you trying to protect? The dick of a guy? Sure the ex-bf that have been fucked by him are idiots but I don't buy the "well they should not have trusted him" stuff. They didn't. They are stupid to have believed him. But fuck all that, if they are decent people and the other guy is just playing with their heads, he should not be given a free card and expect you to keep his secret.

So, I am negative. I just tested myself again today. Every time I give up my ass, I am taking a risk but I would hope that the guy has enough respect for me to be truthful. Five times I had boyfriends who were positive. Three told me, one didn't know until we got tested together, and the fifth was a complete asshole who fucked around behind my back and then complained when I even looked at another guy. I have no problems dating poz guys as long as they take their meds and we take some precautions. We stiill did some barebacking but I just didn't take any loads from them) and they were allowed to go breed other poz guys. But that was the risk I was willing to take. When the fifth died and I did not share a tear for him.