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I have been hooking up with this married man for more than 9 years. He has never said whether he is positive or negative for HIV. My last test was negative. For most of those years we have used condoms except a few times but he has never unloaded inside my ass. I don't know if he is positive or just too afraid to test or doesn't want to reveal to anyone that he is fucking a guy by taking an HIV test? I really want him to unload in my ass but I am afraid to but my desire is so strong for it.

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Straight people getting an HIV test doesn't mean much. A good friend of mine was sick as shit for weeks and the doctor couldn't find anything wrong. Finally ran a blood test for everything including HIV. He didn't like that because he's married and only fucks his wife. I joked that they're testing "From Aids to Zinc," but they have to rule out everything. In the end, turned out it was a fairly minor problem that was easy to deal with. He's fine now that they got him on medication. His HIV test was neg. Side note, I'd love to fuck him and his wife, but alas, they're not into that.

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  • 2 years later...
Guest BBBoyfromTN

After 9 years you two have lasted as long as many marriages. I would think you could have an honest conversation about it. Start by saying "I really like our time together and I want to get more intimate." Then talk about what you might want to explore, like more barebacking. You're going to have to be genuinely honest about if you have other partners or not as well. I had a regular fuck bud who was this hot shorter guy who was a sex machine. I never knew what his story was, just that he was a Nazi about making sure I was wrapped and he always wrapped. No idea if he was straight, bi or what. We never had a conversation about HIV or our statuses, we just did oral and safe anal. Trust me, I asked about bareback plenty but he was always NO about it. Even when condoms broke there was no deviation from always safe. He may be like my bud and you just can't broach the subject or he won't open up. Good luck!

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There can be so many reasons, the only way you'll know is the old fashioned way: ask him. 

I was married and bottoming 25 out of the 31 years I was married. I was ashamed and guilty about being gay (was religious) and cheating/putting my wife at risk. I was petrified and embarrassed to test.  You could buy a drug store test for him, he might just be embarrassed to buy one, or he may just be afraid to find out. He's married and living a secret life, this is part of it. But you won't know unless you talk, and even then, it might be a challenge to get at the reasons. I've met a lot of guys who aren't very self aware, don't know how to articulate how they feel, or both. 

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