Just need some advice

[AusExploring]

Hey guys, I'm sorry that my first post on this site has to be in this section as I have been lurking for the videos for a few months (they are the best;)) but I am not really sure where else I could find knowledgeable and honest advice/answers. Recently I have fucked a friend of mine BB 3 times, 2 of these times he already had multiple (2-3?) loads in his ass. He is poz and currently undetectable (which I am 100% sure of). I am somebody who really does enjoy BB sex but for personal reasons I have decided I am not able to take the risk, but these 3 times I slipped up. I was just wondering if there is a reasonable chance that I may be infected, and if it is worth contacting my doctor tomorrow to try a cycle of PEP. I am the type of person who drives myself insane thinking of the worse possible outcomes of situations so even if it is a very low chance it will still play on my mind. Thanks in advance guys

[XTF2020]

hi. if you're worried, which you sound like you are, best thing to do is take yourself to the clinic and they will talk you through the risks of what you have done and advise as to whether you ought to have PEP. good luck.

[bearbandit]

PEP has to be started within 72 hours of potential infection, otherwise it's useless as PEP. However, the fact that it was you fucking him, and the fact that you're sure he's telling the truth may well mean that even if you went to an A&E department today and asked for PEP, they'd likely refuse to give you it on the grounds that you weren't at enough risk to justify the risks and expense of PEP. I'm poz and undetectable and have no trouble in my mind about getting fucked. There just isn't enough free virus in my system to establish an infection in someone else: it's all in hiding away from those nasty antivirals I keep throwing at it.

The fact is that therapeutic drugs are changing the rules of the game. If PrEP is available where you are, give it serious consideration. If you're in the UK there are still 165 (out of 500) places available on the second stage PrEP trial due to start next year. They're having trouble filling up all the places. The standard of protection offered by Treatment as Protection (ie a poz guy getting his viral load down to undetectable) in combination with PrEP is way above the protection offered by the mere condom.

Why don't official bodies talk more about this? Because drugs cost more than condoms and condoms help prevent (but don't do a good job) prevent other STIs. Also major donors to charities and sponsors of websites want to see a strong condom message, even though condoms aren't the best defence any more. A friend of mine was kicked off a new-ish dating site in the UK because his profile talked about about extreme sex like latex fetishism (!), and despite the fact that the guy is fastidious about safer sex and says so in the profile. I looked through my profile and found pretty much the same sorts of thing there, just more subtly expressed. For example I listed Tim Dean's "Ultimate Intimacy" as one of my favourite books, which they clearly didn't know about. Condoms, it seems, are the new "nice".

Truvada is only the first attempt at PrEP: it's not a perfect choice of drug, but we'll get to the point where there are several choices, just as someone starting meds for the first time has a choice of drugs. And before anyone says there's something unnatural about taking medication for recreational sex, straight women have been doing it for fifty years. Bandit, get off yer soapbox!

[Guest JizzDumpWI]

Lol bearbandit... Love ya no matter...

AusExploring, by your handle I am guessing you are in Australia. PrEP not available there yet. But google pre exposure prophylaxis Australia and you will find decent local information. Get involved and become part of the solution.

re your exposure, I agree with bandit... If you thought your bottom was not undetectible you might have some cause for concern. But as it is your chances of contracting HIV is extremely low.

[AusExploring]

Me and the bottom have been quite close friends for over a year and I honestly have no doubt when he says he is undetectable he is telling the truth (I know he had a blood test a few weeks back). And yes I am in Aus, I didn't know PrEP is not available here yet but I do think it may be in the near future as I have been provided information/pamphlets etc. on it during my last checkup. I think honestly since the risk is quite low I will just assume the best and have my regular checkup in a months time. My only other question is there any increased risk of infection by him already having multiple loads in his ass? Or is that just completely irrelevant. Thanks guys

[GermanFucker]

My only other question is there any increased risk of infection by him already having multiple loads in his ass? Or is that just completely irrelevant. Thanks guys.

Yes there is a somewhat increased risk. How much exactly nobody can tell. But keep in mind that if the risk before was one in 10,000, even a 1000% increase (which would be a lot) means that it's 99.9% likely that nothing happened at all. An increased risk doesn't mean that suddenly something is more likely than not. The sanest thing is EXACTLY what you just said:

I think honestly since the risk is quite low I will just assume the best and have my regular checkup in a months time.

The next step is to stop worrying and to get out of the vicious cycle of blaming yourself for slipping up, make resolutions to be perfect and then slipping up again. JUST STOP. If you enjoy bareback sex, your bottom friend is a VERY LOW RISK partner. There's nothing wrong with talking things over and agreeing that from now on you have unprotected sex but on any given evening you will be the first one to shoot your load in his ass. So you can just enjoy the fucking and STOP WORRYING.

[AusExploring]

Yeh I think that's probably going to be the best solution for me, it will be nice to pump loads in him without having it in the back of my mind thanks for the info and help guys, this site never fails to disappoint in any aspect!

[VersatileBreeder]

I have been in the same boat as you, AusExploring. Only for me, there were a few guys I fucked who told me they were neg and I found out only AFTER the fact that they lied. This happened with three different guys. But all three I got to find out each time were undetectable. I am still neg. I have read on various medical websites claims made by doctors specializing in this field that a neg top fucking a poz bottom without a condom is at about 1 in 200 risk of contracting HIV. Now that is poz and NOT on meds or undetectable. I am sure this number varies depending on how "toxic" the bottom is, how high is viral load is, etc. But, these doctors have also mentioned that the odds lower to somewhere between 1 in 1,000 to 1 in 10,000 for a neg top to contract HIV from a healthy, undetectable bottom.

I once went on PEP. I slipped up and let lust get the best of me. I let a very hot, very hung black top fuck me raw. When I say hung, I mean 11 inches and aggressive. I really, really wanted to experience letting a top like that have my ass. He bred me twice. When he was done, I got off and instantly regretted everything I did with him. He was very shady and standoffish about discussing his status and I just could not trust him. Six hours later, I was in the ER of a local hospital asking for PEP. I am not sure if this is standard practice in the medical field, but the two doctors I spoke to were VERY hesitant to put me on PEP. Apparently, having a partner of unknown status ejaculate inside me was not enough risk to convince them. It got to the point where I had to lie and tell them that I "heard from a reliable source" that this person was HIV+. They relented and prescribed me 28 days of PEP drugs.

Just to let you know, in case you ever have to cross this path in your future, PEP is not fun. The drugs they put me on, Zidovudine and Truvada, are initially very harsh on the system. I was able to get used to them after a week or so, but the first few days were rough. Lactic acidosis (basically all the muscles in your body become painfully sore), nausea, trouble sleeping, etc. Plus, this happened right at the start of the new year, so my insurance deductibles reset and I had to pay almost full price for the Truvada, which was almost $600. Between that, the other drugs and the ER visit, the whole ordeal cost me near a grand.

Good luck to you, I hope everything turns out fine (and I am confident it will).

[wood]

I once went on PEP. I slipped up and let lust get the best of me. I let a very hot, very hung black top fuck me raw. When I say hung, I mean 11 inches and aggressive. I really, really wanted to experience letting a top like that have my ass. He bred me twice. When he was done, I got off and instantly regretted everything I did with him. He was very shady and standoffish about discussing his status and I just could not trust him. Six hours later, I was in the ER of a local hospital asking for PEP. I am not sure if this is standard practice in the medical field, but the two doctors I spoke to were VERY hesitant to put me on PEP. Apparently, having a partner of unknown status ejaculate inside me was not enough risk to convince them. It got to the point where I had to lie and tell them that I "heard from a reliable source" that this person was HIV+. They relented and prescribed me 28 days of PEP drugs.

Damn, sounds hot. Id like some of that. lol. Anyway I will repeat it again for you, but if you can get it in your area, and from what you say I think you are in the US, Go on PrEP, there is assistance plans to make it affordable, and it really take the worry away.

[AusExploring]

Just thought I would update, I also slipped up and had an experience similar to poptronic. He lied to me about having been tested, and from reliable sources I have heard he is almost certainly poz not on meds. Currently doing a course of pep (Which was supplied to me free after I explained my situation at the emergency room, Australian healthcare is absolutely amazing) but honestly its pretty much as high risk as I could get (I bottomed). Don't get me wrong I took the risk and in the end in comes down to my clouded judgement, but I am coming to terms there is a reasonable chance I may end up poz.

[rawTOP]

Just thought I would update, I also slipped up and had an experience similar to poptronic. He lied to me about having been tested, and from reliable sources I have heard he is almost certainly poz not on meds. Currently doing a course of pep (Which was supplied to me free after I explained my situation at the emergency room, Australian healthcare is absolutely amazing) but honestly its pretty much as high risk as I could get (I bottomed). Don't get me wrong I took the risk and in the end in comes down to my clouded judgement, but I am coming to terms there is a reasonable chance I may end up poz.

PEP doesn't really work unless you start it within 72 hours. Sounds like it may have been a longer for you if you then discussed it with a few people.

I think here you'll find most people say be proactive with your health, not reactive. Get on PrEP if you're taking loads. But being poz isn't the end of the world. Just take care of yourself and you'll be fine one way or another.

[AusExploring]

Its pretty hard to explain my situation, but I found out and started the course within 8 hours. I dont know if I will be able to go on PrEP as I am unsure what its current standing is in Australia (Pretty sure its not available yet) but depending on my test results its something I definitely need to look into. Thanks for the reply

[VersatileBreeder]

Its pretty hard to explain my situation, but I found out and started the course within 8 hours. I dont know if I will be able to go on PrEP as I am unsure what its current standing is in Australia (Pretty sure its not available yet) but depending on my test results its something I definitely need to look into. Thanks for the reply

AusExploring, if you were on PEP within 8 hours of the sex, chances are very much on your side that you will be OK. When I had my episode with PEP last year, it was just about that- 8 hours- that I got on PEP also. Now, the top I was with was of undetermined status. You are almost certain based on your sources that your top guy is poz and not on meds. So we have a little difference in our experience.

After I started PEP, I wanted to get an opinion of a specialist about the situation I was in, and what he thought my outcome might look like. The doctors who prescribed me the PEP were ER doctors and not to impugn their qualifications, but they were not specialists in the field of HIV. I consulted a highly regarded doctor who specializes in the field of HIV/AIDS and deals with HIV/AIDS patients. He told me something to the effect of, "well, you definitely did the right thing by going on PEP, but I cannot tell you what your outcome will be as I cannot see into the future. You will have to get tested again in three months."

I wasn't really happy with his lukewarm response, so I pressed him a little bit for a little more of an opinion. I assured him I would not hold anything he tells me against him, regardless of my outcome. What he said to that was, "well, I don't like quantifying these things into numeric odds, but I will tell you this... Let's just assume your partner was, worst case scenario for you, HIV+ and not on meds, the fact that you went on PEP so soon after the event will lower your odds of infection to probably somewhere between 1 in 5,000 and 1 in 10,000. The odds are very much on your side that you will be OK. Take that as comfort to get you through the next three months, but still, I urge you to get tested in three months time."

So I pass these words onto you as you are in the same boat I was. What I will tell you is this- don't miss a dose of your meds. I set an alarm on my phone for 10am and 10pm everyday and I took the pills almost perfectly 12 hours apart every single day for 28 days. If you miss doses, it can lower the effectivity of the drugs if they are actually suppressing an HIV infection from taking hold. Good luck to you and let us know how it turns out.

[AusExploring]

AusExploring, if you were on PEP within 8 hours of the sex, chances are very much on your side that you will be OK. When I had my episode with PEP last year, it was just about that- 8 hours- that I got on PEP also. Now, the top I was with was of undetermined status. You are almost certain based on your sources that your top guy is poz and not on meds. So we have a little difference in our experience.

After I started PEP, I wanted to get an opinion of a specialist about the situation I was in, and what he thought my outcome might look like. The doctors who prescribed me the PEP were ER doctors and not to impugn their qualifications, but they were not specialists in the field of HIV. I consulted a highly regarded doctor who specializes in the field of HIV/AIDS and deals with HIV/AIDS patients. He told me something to the effect of, "well, you definitely did the right thing by going on PEP, but I cannot tell you what your outcome will be as I cannot see into the future. You will have to get tested again in three months."

I wasn't really happy with his lukewarm response, so I pressed him a little bit for a little more of an opinion. I assured him I would not hold anything he tells me against him, regardless of my outcome. What he said to that was, "well, I don't like quantifying these things into numeric odds, but I will tell you this... Let's just assume your partner was, worst case scenario for you, HIV+ and not on meds, the fact that you went on PEP so soon after the event will lower your odds of infection to probably somewhere between 1 in 5,000 and 1 in 10,000. The odds are very much on your side that you will be OK. Take that as comfort to get you through the next three months, but still, I urge you to get tested in three months time."

So I pass these words onto you as you are in the same boat I was. What I will tell you is this- don't miss a dose of your meds. I set an alarm on my phone for 10am and 10pm everyday and I took the pills almost perfectly 12 hours apart every single day for 28 days. If you miss doses, it can lower the effectivity of the drugs if they are actually suppressing an HIV infection from taking hold. Good luck to you and let us know how it turns out.

Those odds are actually much better than what I had in mind, granted I guess other factors come in to play on a case by case basis but in general that is quite good. I might get into the habit of using the alarms as well to properly time my medication, as at the moment its somewhere between 8:30-9:30 in the morning and 6-8 at night, granted that's probably not the worst thing in the world. One thing for sure is I am going to get through this course and take the meds as prescribed for the 28 days though, even though now it has been a few days I am noticing minor side effects. Thanks a lot for your advice poptronic, I know in many aspects this site takes on the more extreme side of sex/hiv etc. but its nice to know there are people that have been through the same as I am going through, will post when I get the news. oink

[Guest JizzDumpWI]

You will come up neg. Chance of that not happening is so small as to be not worth concern. No pun tended, but maintain a positive attitude (inner confidence PEP will work) and all will turn out fine. Meds combined with mind can be very powerful. Keep in mind that there was already a good chance the virus would not take hold. Even guys trying to convert often have to try many times.