should I do it?

[versbos]

I have a fuckbud I've been breeding the past 8 months - he's a hot fuck and I love dumping my load in him. He's poz, I'm neg - he wants to breed me bad the past couple of weeks. I haven't taken a poz load in several years, and would really like to get fucked by him but I'm not on prep. He's on meds, healthy undetectable. Not sure if I should do it or not. any thoughts?

[NastySlamPigLA]

I say let him fucking breed your neg hole with his poz seed, but I say yes to A LOT of things.

If you're not 100% sure, you're probably not ready.

[piggerytales]

the risk of getting hiv from an undetectable load is unbelievably low

[Guest btnman]

It sounds very hot and if the risk is low . . . . but you have to be sure if you want to do it without doubts after.

[VoiceOfReason]

I have a fuckbud I've been breeding the past 8 months - he's a hot fuck and I love dumping my load in him. He's poz, I'm neg - he wants to breed me bad the past couple of weeks. I haven't taken a poz load in several years, and would really like to get fucked by him but I'm not on prep. He's on meds, healthy undetectable. Not sure if I should do it or not. any thoughts?

First off, NO YOU SHOULDN'T. I was told by a friend about this website and frankly I am shocked at some of the things I'm reading. I'm not here to judge, but I also don't agree with a lot of the reckless behavior I'm currently reading about "however true or not."

From experience, I've had a very close brush with becoming HIV positive from a previous ex a few years back. He didn't even know "supposedly" that he had the virus until he fell ill 9 months after we had become exclusive. Here's what a lot men including yourself that choose risky behaviors like this have to look forward to. My ex had a 102 degree fever with headache that he couldn't shake for 2 weeks straight. He was popping pain relievers like skittles during that whole time. His sex drive went way down and when we did have sex unprotected he didn't ejaculate very much. I began to think he didn't love me anymore or wasn't into sex with me over time. It wasn't until he finally got tested that he not only found out he was positive but had full blown AIDS at that point. He also developed a bacterial brain infection called (toxoplasmosis) - which is extremely deadly and the cat we had was making him sick.

It made sense all in all, because he had real bad allergies and when his immune system was gone, those went away. He dropped weight in weeks from being 145lbs to 120 in a 2 week period. He developed Herpe Zoster sores on his mouth and a lesion near his ass. He started bleeding from the mouth, would constantly vomit and have mad diarrhea. I won't even begin to go into the complications he first had with the medications and the effects there after. It was 3 months of hell as he bordered on death's door. Seems many have forgotten how serious AIDS/HIV infection is, and how an orgasm of 10 to 14 seconds cannot compare to the days, months, and years of chronic sickness and eventual death. With or without treatment. You better read this and seriously think it over.

[Guest JizzDumpWI]

VoR, certainly a perspective. And i agree with you the cavalier approach to HIV in some posts is more than a little disturbing... But your ex was undetected poz and OP fb is long term undetectible. If the OP fuck bud has been on meds and undetectable for a long time ( read that a year or more ) his risk of acquiring HIV is near zero. Note i acknowledge it isn't risk free. But low enough to consider. Now if he takes the fairly easy step of starting PrEP risk becomes so low he might want a lottery tix if he converted.

[versgeek]

Seems many have forgotten how serious AIDS/HIV infection is, and how an orgasm of 10 to 14 seconds cannot compare to the days, months, and years of chronic sickness and eventual death. With or without treatment.

This scare tactic always pisses me off. First off, I fuck for much longer than 10-14 seconds, the orgasm is just the proverbial gravy. Second, we all fucking die. These forums to some extent are here because a lot of people think that a lifetime of sexual satisfaction is worth the risk.

As an aside, I really don't think that fear tactics ever work on anything. You might cause someone to bottle up their desires for a little while, but that usually leads to an explosion of bad behavior at the end. A much better tactic would be to get to know a person and encourage safer behavior.

vrsguy, have you considered getting on PrEP? If you do I'd say go for it with the guy after. It'll be safer than if you're trying to serosort (the least effective method of trying to stay negative).

Otherwise I'd recommend picking one, your brain or your cock, and following it. Your brain is telling you no, your cock is telling you yes. Which do you like better?

[VoiceOfReason]

Yeah? Well just remember that when you're on your deathbed and wanting death for mercy in suffering. It's not a scare "tactic" it's the ultimate reality of the situation. I seriously doubt those who are ill stricken and feel like shit from head to toe as well as being doped up to the point of not knowing what's going on or whose around them are thinking of the (hot times) and how it felt at the moment they're breathing their last. Yes, we all die. Doesn't mean you gotta bring it on by being foolish or ignorant concerning your health and wellbeing.

I think we can both agree it's a choice. But I know from experience, I'm not about to take what I have now for granted and that's a second chance.

[MackyJay]

I thing the main point here is this: If you have to ask other people their opinion about whether to or not, I think you are just plainly and simply, not ready to take that step. I would say you need to sit down and really consider your options more thouroughly. Remember, that is you decide to go for it, it is forever, not just the moment.

[Guest JizzDumpWI]

Yeah? Well just remember that when you're on your deathbed and wanting death for mercy in suffering. It's not a scare "tactic" it's the ultimate reality of the situation. I seriously doubt those who are ill stricken and feel like shit from head to toe as well as being doped up to the point of not knowing what's going on or whose around them are thinking of the (hot times) and how it felt at the moment they're breathing their last. Yes, we all die. Doesn't mean you gotta bring it on by being foolish or ignorant concerning your health and wellbeing.

I think we can both agree it's a choice. But I know from experience, I'm not about to take what I have now for granted and that's a second chance.

VoR how is it you completely ignore discussion of PrEP?

[versgeek]

Yeah? Well just remember that when you're on your deathbed and wanting death for mercy in suffering. It's not a scare "tactic" it's the ultimate reality of the situation. I seriously doubt those who are ill stricken and feel like shit from head to toe as well as being doped up to the point of not knowing what's going on or whose around them are thinking of the (hot times) and how it felt at the moment they're breathing their last. Yes, we all die. Doesn't mean you gotta bring it on by being foolish or ignorant concerning your health and wellbeing.

Wow, that's not you trying to scare people into using condoms at all. Ultimate reality? Really? You are completely ignorant on this subject and you're spreading harmful misinformation.

Fun fact, not everyone who gets HIV dies of AIDs. With treatment, that scary situation you're describing is not likely anymore. You and people like you are the reason that there's such a huge stigma against HIV+ men in the gay community.

Other fun fact, there are ways to reduce risk of infection in people with risky behavior patterns that don't involve tellng them that they're going to hell, er, I mean telling them that they're going to get sick and die a horrible death. Your scare tactic is ineffectual at causing people to stop barebacking, which is why nobody who works in the related field of medicine uses it.

I once volunteered for an HIV vaccine study. I was counseled on my risks every couole of months. You know what they never did? Try to terrify me into using condoms (which aren't 100% effective btw). What they did do was encourage me to lower my risk in realistic ways, such as not taking loads and reduucing my number of partners. They encouraged me to top more. They encouraged me to get tested regularly. These things reduce risk in non-negligible ways.

It's about reality, the ultimate one, where abstinence is the only way to guarantee no std infections ever. It's about knowing even one iota of human psychology and what motivates behavior. Fear and misinformation aren't effective. You're not helping your cause.

[Guest JizzDumpWI]

Well said vers geek.

[CaliSmoker]

Fuck yeah, Versgeek. By the way, you can top me anytime. Leave your load if you like

Honestly though, people have been using the same tired tactics to dissuade other people from making their own decisions. The best plan is to gather as much (logical, sensible) information as possible regarding current medical information and accepted risk reduction methods and then do whatever it is that you are going to do.

I think that most guys that bareback accept that there is a certain amount of risk. I know I do. After 16 years+ (started at 14, just turned 30) of barebacking (and taking POZ loads as well, mostly undetectable though) I just tested neg last week. It's quite possible to do if you want to.

Have I had to go to the clinic more than my fair share of times and get something bacterial treated? Yes. Outside of that, however, using my own risk reduction methods and serosorting (not necessarily neg/poz but neg/undetectable) has gone really far for me.

[GermanFucker]

Dear Voice of Reason:

The problem with your contributions is that you aren't well informed. Yes, there are bugchasers on this site and many others here find their endeavours to get infected quite pointless. The original poster is not one of those.

The consensus within the medical community is that if a poz guy is well medicated his chances of passing the virus on are comparably low to capable condom use (which is better than typical condom use). Today there are many serodiscordant heterosexual couples who have been having unprotected sex for quite a long time, even had children that way, without infecting the other. Thanks to the medication.

What the original poster is saying is reasonably safe. Keep in mind that he has been having unprotected anal sex with the guy for 8 months now, the only difference being that he was topping in that case. The problem with scare tactics is that they backfire. That way some guys get so oversexed that in the end they take anonymous loads just to fill that certain need, when having unprotected sex with an undetectable guy would have been much safer. Better to discuss openly the risks involved.

However, I wouldn't advise to do anything that one doesn't feel good about, even if it's reasonably safe. Why? Because when you feel guilty afterwards you enter that same cycle of shame and acting out that so often led to bad decisions. Better be level-headed.

[versbos]

thanks guys for the feedback; I'd consider getting on prep but a lot of obstacles - right now the only way to get it is to be in a research study (I've asked at a local STD clinic where I get tested if they could prescribe and was told they are not allowed)

also, I did have unprotected sex as a bottom with a poz top (on meds, undetectable) for about a year and half starting back in 2002; he probably pumped well over 200 loads in my ass over that period of time and I have continued to test HIV neg.

and you're right about the guilt part - definitely some of that