Dirty Bottoms Etiquette Question From A Top?

[joerawma]

I understand your plight, but also want to offer from a promiscuous bottom's perspective: I am usually 100% clean when I take cock, even without elaborate preparations (just lucky that way). However, shit does indeed happen. It is very rare that I am dirty when I get fucked - in fact, I will be upfront before hooking up if there is the possibility. Yet, despite the best efforts, every now and then it may be dirty. I don't play it off casually like your bottoms seem to - I apologize profusely. Most tops and I acknowledge that the moment has passed, but we can still end friendly. There have been a few tops through the years, though, who have been real assholes about it, which is not cool.

I would recommend that you be very clear before hooking up, like others have suggested. And if it happens, be clear but POLITE that it's over for you. Don't play it off casually like it's no big deal, but don't be an asshole about it, either.

[Bottom Jim]

I agree with you. Despite all my efforts it has happened. It happens when I eat food that is high in fat. I always try to tell the top and it has never been a problem. Well once it was but he was a bad fuck anyway

[Guest TravelGuy4Bareback]

I try my best to clean up. In fact, if I have doubts about staying clean, I won't go to the adult store at all. I have pushed it some when on the road in a city with a Bathhouse, and so far have been lucky.

I seldom top because I can't stand the bottoms who don't clean up all the way. I love to breed a hole here and there, but too many just don't clean up at the adult stores around here it seems.

[CumSlutDamien]

Allow me to play devil's advocate here. This seems to definitely be something that comes up mostly in the bareback community, understandably. I just don't remember ever encountering a discussion about this before I started reading the bareback sites.

[sentry75]

I think this is a complicated subject. I am a bottom but for almost 20 years was oral only significantly because I could never relax because of fear - both of STIs and the idea that I might not be clean. I am bi and not out, and it would have been difficult to keep around enema equipment without raising flags. A lot of my sex has been relatively impromptu, like stopping off at the video booths after work and sucking some cock through glory holes. It wasn't until I discovered that two of my local bathouses had on site douche facilities that I began to get fucked fairly regularly. Now my routine is to hit the baths, douche, shower, and relax for 30 -60 minutes then checking to make sure I am clean before lubing up and looking to get fucked. If I stay more than 4-5 hours I would usually douche again.

So while I can't really imagine getting fucked without being confidently clean, I do think it is asking a little much to expect that every ass at every time will be clean. I am now astonished that many baths don't have douche facilities, as it seems so obvious and necessary. But will every guy at a bookstore, sex shop, crusing area have been able to take the time to get to a private place and douche? Should they stay home? Even if they really just planned on sucking some cock, but when presented with your beautiful cock just had to have it in their ass?

What about guys who go out for dinner and hit the bars? By closing time it is probably 7 or 8 hours since they had a chance to douche and things could be less than pristine?

What about guys in relationships? Do they schedule all their sex post rigourous enema cleansing? Surely occasionally they just go to bed and decide to fuck.

As some others have noted the commoness of douching is a product of the last 20-30 years or so. Gay sex happened a fair amount before then.

Most of my experience as a top is with women. My female partners have not been overly anal, and I have only had two who specifically asked to be assfucked, but none of them ever appear to have given a thought to douching. Usually it happened without planning. I expect that some of the time that they said they didn't want to be fucked in the ass the reason may have been that they did not feel completely clean. But in general, a lot of heterosexual anal sex takes place completely out of left field, and while the occasional accident happens it does not seem to dampen enthusiasm for the act.

So I think some people need to chill.

And I say this as someone whose limited, fearful and short experiences with barebacking (that led me to this site) were heavily motivated by the extreme turn on of ass to mouth. While I have never taken a load anally, every cock that has ever gone in my ass bare went straight into my mouth upon withdrawl. I have a very very strong personal interest in a clean ass. I just think that we ought to accept that not every sex act is going to take place in ideal circumstances. No reason not to aspire to perfection, but can we admit that the threat of imperfection ought not to be enough to make us stay at home jacking off?