Broken Dates

[dickluva]

How many chances do you give somebody who broke a date, a date like a trip, or dinner & movie, & the date would have included fucking butt not only sex? 10x? or 10%? What about 3x in one month with little or no explanation? What if he asks for another chance? Also, he laughed while I cried about him.

P.S. = I told him like 3X in 6 months, i never want to hear from him again. I still feel like I can't loose something I never had. I can't stop thinking "Have I been fair?" Any discussion is appreciated. Thanks for reading this post. J

[TigerMilner]

I've always had a policy, in my head at least, that you don't stand me up twice. One time and you are done. Even if its just a hook up. If I spend an hour or two getting my hole cleaned out enough that I can suck your cock after you fuck me, and you don't show up, well that pisses me off. And I've stood by that. Except for the buff married cop who was fucking me for nearly three years. It took three times before I cut him off. I figured he probably had some sort of heroic police shit going down, so he got a pass a few times. But the third strike was it. I haven't seen him in nearly three years. Damn he was fine.

And most recently, my young latino fuck bud stood me up. This is the guy who fractured three of my ribs one night a few months ago when he was wasted. Any way, we hadn't had any communication since he called me to apologize. I took his apology but it didn't fix how I felt about the situation. He said he did not want me to feel like he had just stood me up....I said well I appreciate the call but it kinda already felt like that for the past 12 hours. Anyway, he knew to lay low and not hit me up again til recently. He's been texting me for the past two weeks like nothing ever happened. But I haven't caved. Yes, I love his 9" uncut brown cock, and he is fucking beautiful, but after 5 years of being his whore, i have realized I don't like how he makes me feel. Plus his drinking and drug use have gotten progressively worse and it's a huge turn off. Giving a guy a second chance to stand you up is like telling him you are a door mat, come on in. Just wipe your feet first. God i wish I could take my own advice.

Edited January 25, 2014 by TigerMilner

[bbzh]

Maybe I'm wired wrong but i live by the phrase, "fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me." I totally get being turned on by a guy and really, really wanting to hook up. However, if he doesn't have enough respect for you to keep a date (how much commitment does that require???), why give him a second thought? He obviously didn't really like you. Block his ass and get on with your life. Next!

[Rayne]

I rarely give anyone a second-chance. The only times I do is when I feel they are warranted, and the person is actually making a concious effort to make it up to me. Unfortunately, the world is filled many people who don't feel like they need to do anything to make it up to you, and it's usually followed with the "shit happens" excuse. If shit happens, then you can make good shit happen to show you really want to get together/hookup/etc..

It's strange how many people will give me the "I don't know what you want from me" line when I tell them to make it up to me. Sure, making plans is a start, but if your past behaviour is all that speaks for your character, then I'm not interested in making plans that aren't going to follow through. Personally, I won't actually make official plans unless I know I can follow through with them. Strangely, this kind of behaviour isn't really common from my experiences, and it gets really old really fast.

[raw_n_toxic]

Ditch the ruthless prick...You can and will always do better than someone that "he laughed while I cried about him" sorta crap to someone else.

[bearbandit]

I gave a guy more chances than he deserved because he stood by me when I was ill. We'd just got together physically when his ex (who was living with him) committed suicide - advanced diabetes, blind, needing a kidney transplant. An act of charity for FB to take him back. FB's ex committed suicide by removing the the catheters necessary for his dialysis. Bled to death. I supported FB as best I could and it was only the night of what was to be my birthday party orgy that we got snowed in. Long boring story snipped, but I escaped six days later when the trains were running again: he'd sat up all night writing poetry for the Eisteddfod. I'm disabled thanks to a rare reaction to an HIV drug and a bike accident. A year ago tonight I limped round to the rail station (he'd been up all all night writing poems for the Eisteddfod and got through a substantial amount of gin). The one thing I couldn't find before I left was my digital camera. After his cleaner found it it took a further month of nagging to get him to wrap it up and send it in the post to me. Haven't seen him since. But I counted up: over four dinner invitations (and I do a fucking wicked venison stew, complete with home made bread) he made precisely one. Guess I was the fool... especially as his approach to sex was more enthusiastic than skilful

Edited January 25, 2014 by bearbandit

[Totop]

I very rarely do second chances. I always deal with guys this way: I'm dealing with and adult and expect responsible adult behavior. Anything less isn't acceptable.

[barefootbob]

One and done here. You stood me up you you don't get a second chance

[VersatileBreeder]

This really depends. I can go either way on this one. I have had guys flake on me at the last minute and I could have seen that coming from a mile away. Either they just didn't sound serious about meeting or something else was just off. Then they just cut off communication and don't show. These are the guys that I never give a second chance to because I know they are full of shit.

In some cases, it can go the other way. I once was making plans with this hot top who wanted to fuck me later in the evening at his place. I texted him to tell him I was getting ready. He texted me back acknowledging that. About a half hour later, I texted him to get his address and there was no response. Texted him a couple more times and still no response. The next day, he texted me to apologize for the night before. He said he laid down for a few minutes and completely just passed out. Said he must have been more tired than he thought. At first, I thought he was full of shit. I thought maybe he found another hook-up or just decided to go out.

Well, one week later, he texted me asking if I wanted to come over. I asked if he was going to flake again and he said "no, I promise." I was hesitant, but I took a shot and took him up on it. I came over and he fucked me and loaded me up so good. Just the kind of top that I like. We met up a few times after that with no issues. So, I guess that sometimes, it can pay off to give a guy a second chance.

[dickluva]

Hey Bros, Thank you all for the kind comments and support. I've been watching this thread. I immediately regretted posting all that, I am glad I did now. I was fearful I would be attacked for whining & being full of self-pity. Thank you proving me wrong. Your support helps me to accept ti, move on, & be happy. I get it, I like somebody who didn't like me back, welcome to Earth! It is the 18th time, no exaggeration, I made a list, I have done this. At least I didn't move in with it this time, maybe i have gotten a little better;) I concur with everybody who posted here, I would have spared myself a lot of pain if I had said "Don't ever call me again" the first time it cancelled. NEXT~!

[pozpig]

Great topic. I'm the type that deals better with a cancellation than completely stood up. I realize sometimes things happen unexpectedly, and I am more than ok with a phone call with sufficient time before hand letting me know of a cancel or postponement or other means that indicates "hey, sorry". Being stood up however, lets just say dude better have some good sex for me to try again, and if I haven't experienced said sex, it won't happen!

Bottom line, life is short. If there isn't enough respect for your time to let you know they're not coming, especially after you've taken time out to get ready, or cancelled other plans, etc, why should you bother a second time? Hell, for all you know, the guy who stood you up was standing you up for something they thought was better!