Negotiating condomless sex while on PrEP?

[rawfuckr]

I'm finding it increasingly difficult to negotiate condomless sex. My thing is that I don't want to waste my time with someone who is going to insist on condoms when I'm on PrEP and it's cool to BB. My current strategy to negotiate consists of one of:

1) Saying nothing. This works often but doesn't guarantee a condomless fuck. A lot of guys will 'require a condom' for fucking

2) Saying "I am neg tested recently. Are you too?" A lot of guys this is enough but some will answer with "but I still play safe". I then know I can skip the guy because he will likely not drop the condom.

3) Saying i'm neg on PrEP. I used to try to tell people I was neg on PrEP to convince them that I was a very safe fuck and condoms could be dropped, but it rarely work. It was actually worse, they would slut shame me.

Let me add that sites like BarebackRT are just not my scene. For me sex is not about getting loads in my ass but rather about having sex with a hot guy with good sexual chemistry then getting fucked in the ass raw is a big component of it but not all. Condoms get in the way and burn my butthole so I try to avoid them at all costs.

How are you guys dealing with this?

Edited April 29, 2014 by rawfuckr

[Poz1956]

Jake Sobo discusses this exact effect in his piece titled "Wishing and Hoping and Praying—How Not to Prevent HIV" over on the Beta Blog. It makes an interesting read. Actually all his stuff does.

He's generally finding that men looking for "safe guys" (as opposed to "safe sex") are more likely to engage in BB, but will immediately reject you when you specify you want raw sex. Many will start off with a condom to show that they are a "good boy," but will very quickly change to bb, once they decide that you are also a "good boy."

All I can say is that after 28+ years of being a Pozzie, I can attest to the fact the peoples brains do not think logically when it comes to HIV.

[rawfuckr]

He's generally finding that men looking for "safe guys" (as opposed to "safe sex") are more likely to engage in BB, but will immediately reject you when you specify you want raw sex. Many will start off with a condom to show that they are a "good boy," but will very quickly change to bb, once they decide that you are also a "good boy."

Exactly this! I think I'm making it a ritual these days. If there is a guy I really like, I'll go through the effort of having me fucking me with a condom. From that moment on you get a 'he's clean' label and condoms will not be needed again. If you dared to bring up a conversation about how to go about having safer condomless sex, like me being on PrEP and all that, it's a guaranteed way he'll drop you. Very illogical, but totally what it's happening.

[wood]

I always find honesty is the best option, with the correct approach. If you broach the subject of condomless sex first with stuff like, "do you ever play raw" you will probably get less of a rejection that if you just say, blow nut in me.

Also for me, a couple of my FB's are poz undetectable, which works great, especially with PrEP