gordonuk Posted July 3, 2014 Report Posted July 3, 2014 Is there any decent personal/dating sites out there that cater for guys wanting a long term monogomous relatioship with others that only want bare? most sites seem sexual based and others that do LTR prmote the safe message, so where are the ones that dont preach about safe and deal in LTR?
Administrators rawTOP Posted July 3, 2014 Administrators Report Posted July 3, 2014 Not to be Debbie Downer, but… 90+% of long term gay relationships are NOT monogamous. My bf and I have been together for over 16 years now. I've seen a lot of long term gay couples. There are maybe 2 or 3 couples who I think are more or less monogamous. The rest would probably say that if they stuck with monogamy they'd have broken up. In other words long term monogamous gay relationships are only slightly more common than unicorns. The sooner you embrace that fact the sooner you'll find yourself a long-term relationship. Personally I'm much more interested in getting sluts to form long term relationships with other sluts. Somehow our society has taught sluts that they're not deserving of real love or even companionship. That's wrong.
gordonuk Posted July 3, 2014 Author Report Posted July 3, 2014 I do not like random sex, i feel very uncomfortable meeting someone, having sex and never seeing them again. I only feel comfortable having sex with someone I want a relationship with. yes, i may be a rare breed but its how I feel. am not a slut like may of you out there, i have some standards
NLbear Posted July 3, 2014 Report Posted July 3, 2014 I think you are in the UK (name)? Try Gaydar. It also has a chat function, even by region for certain countries. And one of the selection criteria on profiles is safe/bare . Oh, and their radio station is cool too :-)
slowfuck Posted July 3, 2014 Report Posted July 3, 2014 I'm sure you didn't mean that last bit to read as it came across. We all have 'standards'. Yours are just different to those of many others, as are mine and so on. It's is very difficult to find long term relationships with the 'online shopping' nature of the main hookup sites. I would say the only ways to bag an LTR with a guy who fucks raw is to join social groups and find a good LTR candidate there and explore his attitudes to sex if you get on, or ask on the usual hookup sites for what you want - explicitly and clearly - and wait for someone who feels the same as you. Gaydar for sure, but even BBRT as there are guys who decide to look for something more long term on there too. Good luck. I do not like random sex, i feel very uncomfortable meeting someone, having sex and never seeing them again. I only feel comfortable having sex with someone I want a relationship with. yes, i may be a rare breed but its how I feel. am not a slut like may of you out there, i have some standards
everopen1 Posted July 3, 2014 Report Posted July 3, 2014 Really only 10% monogamous. I do agree that sluts believe they are not worthy of a relationship and that is just sad. I've been seeing a wonderful guy recently claims he's a slut and refuses to consider LTR. I don't understand it. And I'm not asking he be monogomous.
Administrators rawTOP Posted July 3, 2014 Administrators Report Posted July 3, 2014 I do not like random sex, i feel very uncomfortable meeting someone, having sex and never seeing them again. I only feel comfortable having sex with someone I want a relationship with. yes, i may be a rare breed but its how I feel. am not a slut like may of you out there, i have some standards My point is that if you get into a relationship your boyfriend is going to want to have sex with other guys at some point. You may be monogamous, but your boyfriend and your relationship won't be. That is the price of a long term gay relationship. Unless you accept that fact, you'll never have a long term relationship (or your boyfriend will be forced to lie to you).
NLbear Posted July 3, 2014 Report Posted July 3, 2014 RawTop has a point. When I was young and naive I thought gay LTR's worked just like straight LTR's. Most don't. Sure I have seen monogomous gay LTR's but I think those are exceptions. What I experienced is that either fuck outside the relationship or invite a 3rd (or more) to the bedroom for some fun. Made me realize I rather have a relationship with a buddy with whom I connect and can love, more like a brother really, but both partners seek sex when and where they want it. If that occasionally happens to be the partner, fine, but not limit it to that. The one time I had a LTR we ended up not having sex at all anymore after 7 years. Partner was OK with it, but it drove me crazy, so I strayed. And that pretty much ended the relationship because he couldn't understand that I needed/wanted sex.
bearbandit Posted July 3, 2014 Report Posted July 3, 2014 Two examples (seven year openish relationship with the same guy, rules of his devising): rule #1 we go out together, we go home together. He jumped off the bus on the way home to follow this guy and couldn't figure out why the door was locked when he came home. A promise broken. rule #2 you don't fuck with the same guy twice. After we broke up I discovered he'd gone through a string of short term relationships. Neither of these would have mattered if the rules weren't there. My problem was that he was essentially lying to me. When I was very ill with HIV my (later) partner had a string of boyfriends, all of whom were welcome in our home. They gave him what I couldn't. Even before I was too ill to fuck our rule was simply to be honest about who else we were fucking with: hell, the man even drove me to my boyfriend's place, returning an hour later because I'd forgotten to bring my ARVs with...
slowfuck Posted July 3, 2014 Report Posted July 3, 2014 (edited) Monogamous relationships tend to work where the guys' interests don't revolve around sex, and are focussed on work and home and sports and hobbies of various types so I very much doubt you'd find them easily via any of the online dating websites where it almost seems a long term relationship is seeing a guy for all of two hours and asking him his first name, maybe There are guys on Gaydar and Manhunt and Squirt looking for LTRs but few and far between in my experience. It's why, Gordon, I think the best chance of meeting someone for an LTR is joining some of the social groups that abound and hopefully meeting someone in the old fashioned way there. Take a look at outeverywhere.com and thegayguide.org.uk in the UK for ideas. Good luck. Edited July 3, 2014 by slowfuck clarity
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