asking if you're poz - honest?

[twinkcc]

I almost ever ask if someone's poz so I'd like you to ask: Are you honest and say yes, or do you say no because you just want to fuck the gay?

[PhoenixGeoff]

I do my best to disclose my status as early on as possible in my interaction with a potential fuck. Online, this means that my status is included in my profile. In the bars, I bring it up in conversation. My policy is that if I'm having sex with a guy who's HIV-, then he gets to decide which risks are acceptable and which aren't (although if he insists on either one of us using a condom, I'll walk away from the trick).

I treat baths and other anonymous kinds of places for hooking up differently. If you're being promiscuous with multiple men you really don't know and fucking raw, then you've really already made your decision. So in that case, I won't actively volunteer my status, although if asked I do answer truthfully.

[Grunt]

I'm negative. But someday I likely wont be and I'm ready for that eventuality. You play you pay. And after coming of age in the 80's and living in fear for so long, one day I made the decision not to. I usually dont ask and have only been with one guy I knew was POZ, and I just loaded his ass and that was it. The only guy I've worn a condom for in almost ten years is my brother because he asked me to. And for him, I will.

[Slut4anyload]

I know this is aimed at poz guys and their honesty when trying to get inside a sweet neg hole. As a neg (I think) bottom I have twice lied about my status to poz tops I felt might be reluctant to seed me.

[twinkcc]

It's great to see, that most of you are honest. Sure, if I would go into a darkroom or something like that, I'd never ask.

I just asked, because I get fucked by a poz, but undectable, guy, who told me that not until the third meeting...

[rawTOP]

I just asked, because I get fucked by a poz, but undectable, guy, who told me that not until the third meeting...

Do you ask the top his status or just wait for him to bring it up? While I realize there's a legal obligation to disclose in some places, personally I don't feel the poz top should be required to bring the topic up. I think the old "assume everyone is poz" is still good advice today. If the neg guy needs to ask.

[twinkcc]

I asked him, he said no. First after the third meeting he said to me that he's poz.

[PhoenixGeoff]

Do you ask the top his status or just wait for him to bring it up? While I realize there's a legal obligation to disclose in some places, personally I don't feel the poz top should be required to bring the topic up. I think the old "assume everyone is poz" is still good advice today. If the neg guy needs to ask.

More than that, I'd personally say that if you bareback, no matter what precautions you take (short of celibacy), it's not a matter of if you'll convert but when. And I'd also say that neg guys who bareback have no business at all getting upset with the man who happens to pass the virus along (assuming they even know who it is). You are responsible for assessing risks and benefits for your own health and well-being.

Me, I understood that indiscriminately allowing all kinds of guys to fuck me raw and blow inside me meant that I'd convert sooner or later. I took that as the price to be paid for enjoying my sexuality to its fullest. And I'd gladly make the same decision again, any day!

[twinkcc]

What do you think: bareback = poz?

Not everyone who like bareback sex would like to be poz. That's a big different...

[PhoenixGeoff]

What do you think: bareback = poz?

Not everyone who like bareback sex would like to be poz. That's a big different...

That may be true, but it isn't reality. Anyone who barebacks routinely and has multiple partners (which includes the vast majority of guys on this site) is going to convert sooner or later. The cumulative risk of hundreds or thousands of partners over the course of a lifetime is impossible to miss.

So is barebacking automatically bad? Of course not! I, personally, chose to only have sex without condoms while I was still neg. But I did it knowing the likely result. And I blame nobody but myself for the fun I've had over the years or the consequences I've suffered as a result.

[twinkcc]

You're right, it's a risk and maybe you'll convert sooner or later, but that's not sure.

The risk definitly decrease if you beware not to fuck with poz guys who have a hight VL and don't have anonymous sex in a darkroom...

I really like barebacking, but I don't really want to get infected!

[Slut4anyload]

twinkcc - please recognize that many others on this forum started like you. Tentatively, thinking that they can control who and how they fuck. Look at us now.

Barebacking is addictive and will lead you on to more extreme behavior.

[rawTOP]

twinkcc - please recognize that many others on this forum started like you. Tentatively, thinking that they can control who and how they fuck. Look at us now.

Barebacking is addictive and will lead you on to more extreme behavior.

Well put. Case and point is a guy who started by taking neg loads, then two years ago at IML he started taking all loads, no questions asked. I was there at Steamworks when he started doing it. It was sorta a special moment. He wrote up his thoughts and I put them on my blog 'cause I thought it was important to document what goes through someone's head at that moment. I highly recommend reading what he wrote...

http://www.rawtop.com/blog/2008-06/thoughts-of-a-neg-bareback-bottom-taking-all-loads

He became poz a few months later. Now he's a proud cumhole who gets as many loads as he can. He's on here actually. He was at the last IML and posted here saying he was looking for loads.

Not all bareback bottoms become cumdumps, but it does happen - even when you start out "Neg4Neg".

[PhoenixGeoff]

You're right, it's a risk and maybe you'll convert sooner or later, but that's not sure.

The risk definitly decrease if you beware not to fuck with poz guys who have a hight VL and don't have anonymous sex in a darkroom...

I really like barebacking, but I don't really want to get infected!

The problem with this is that a lot of guys don't really know their true status or worse, are misinformed. Guys don't get tested as often as they should. The test itself may give a false negative in the first few months after infection. Some men even lie about their status in order to get laid. You can't rely on the reports of strangers to prevent infection with HIV.

I really love barebacking too. Really, REALLY love it. So much that I'm now HIV+, with no idea of who gave it to me (which is just how I like it). I didn't want HIV either, but barebacking was more important. My priorities (and no regrets!). But I did it with my eyes wide open.

[tampafun27]

Twinkcc there are alot of guys that are not honest and think that it is funny seeding neg guys and lying about their status. I am personally neg, but i know a few guys that are poz, and i get pissed at them because they joke around with each other about how many unknowing btm boys they bred recently, and how it was their fault for taking cock raw.

I think that barebacking it hot, and i also think that we should be honest, but realistically, it is not true that they are, dont get me wrong, not all are untrusting, but alot are not honest.

Just becareful bro. I am like you, i too do not want to be infected. Also, there is still a chance that you could get infected from your non-detectable top, i know alot of people say you cant... but remember the ol saying, nothing is Always or Never... so remember anything can happen.