TheBreeder Posted July 20, 2010 Report Share Posted July 20, 2010 To see Breeder's original blog post click here When it comes to my shortcomings, I try to be gentle. I dislike having them. I get impatient with myself when in public they dutifully come trooping forward without much provocation. But like a dad with a troop of mildly misbehaving kids, I’ll round them up as quickly as I can and discipline them at home later. I’ll try to keep this short and sweet, because I don’t like dwelling on the negative. Last night I had a guy over. It was a guy I like and have enjoyed before—a man I’ve written about in these very pages, in fact. We were having a good time in the dark on a cool and breezy summer night, rolling around and making out and sucking each other’s dicks and playing with each other’s nipples. He whispered to me, “I want to make you feel real good tonight. Tell me what I can do for you.” He’d already slobbered up and down my pole for a long time, at that point. He’d pinned me down and licked my armpits, and had kissed the back of my neck very gently and sweetly. I like the guy, but it was still with a little trepidation and shyness that I asked, “Could you eat me out?” Because, as I’ve said before, I’m incredibly shy of asking for attention back there. It takes a real effort of will to do it, and I dislike myself for having to struggle. Being able to ask a guy to munch on my hole is basically the last, lingering remnant of that night twenty-five years ago when a man sexually assaulted me. Even after my buddy asked the question, I lay there struggling, listening to two people inside me having an argument. Frightened Me: Can I ask him to do this? Assertive Me: Of course you can. You know this guy. You’ve been with him a dozen times. Frightened Me: I’m just so shy. . . . Assertive Me: You know he likes to eat your ass. Frightened Me: But. . . . Assertive Me: Get over yourself and ask him. When finally I did ask the question, my buddy responded with enthusiasm. He pulled a pillow down and stuck it under my hips, to get my ass in the air. He spread my legs, and buried his face in the cleft. And he really went to down on me, for a good ten minutes. I went from tense and apprehensive to cautious and wary, and then for a couple of minutes down to completely relaxed and blissful. It was while I was still relaxed and not entirely conscious that I felt my buddy shift his weight. He was on top of me, his legs straddling mine, his hand between my shoulders as he held me down. I felt his dick shoving forcefully against my hole. “Whoa, whoa, WHOA!” I yelled. “Just let me put it in,” he whispered. “Ssshh. Let me put it in.” “I don’t want. . . .” “It’ll hurt but then you’ll like it,” he said. All I knew is that it hurt. I like to think that when I enter a guy, especially a tight guy, I make it as pleasurable as possible under the circumstances. He wasn’t doing any of that. It just hurt, and he didn’t much care. This is what you get for asking for it, whispered Frightened Me, all his worst fears justified. You wanted him to eat you. This is what you get. You can’t ever ask for it again. For what seemed like a long time, but was probably no more than a minute, I lay there helplessly and let him poke at me, feeling like I’d brought it on myself. Then Assertive Me reared his head. “This isn’t working,” I announced, and wriggled out from under him. “Thanks for trying, though.” I was grabbing my T-shirt and putting it on, followed by my shorts, which any reasonable person would take as a cue to go. My buddy automatically followed suit. We didn’t say anything until we were down by the front door again. “Sorry about that,” he said. “You sure are tight.” I just pressed my lips together in a wry line. Even as I stood there, hating myself for what I’d asked for, I knew I couldn’t let myself off the hook. I know that not every guy plans to take advantage in such a clumsy and skill-less way. I know that I can’t use this as a justification for feeling miserable for not getting what I want and simultaneously not doing anything about it. It didn’t work this time. But the next time I ask a guy to rim me, he’ll do it and not assume I’m inviting him to anything more. And the next time. I just need to keep asking, and not settling for anything less than total respect. My buddy paused by the front door as I opened it for him. “I hope you’ll see me again soon.” “Of course,” I told him, before gesturing him out. It was a bald lie. More... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evilqueerpig Posted May 17, 2012 Report Share Posted May 17, 2012 You asked to be eaten out...nothing more...what he did could be considered assault....if I'm ever lucky enough to be with you, I'll honor your requests to the letter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hotload84 Posted May 17, 2012 Report Share Posted May 17, 2012 (edited) Don't be so hard on yourself, TheBreeder. We've all been in the situation where a tryst doesn't work. You extracted yourself from the clumsy attentions of your acquaintance in a reasonable fashion, and certainly better than it could have been handled. Edited May 18, 2012 by Hotload84 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bear4Breeding Posted May 17, 2012 Report Share Posted May 17, 2012 TheBreeder, I agree with both EQP and Hotload. I would definitely respect your request as well, but I might ask you before you asked me about eating your ass. I LOVE to eat ass can spend much time down there chowing down. You did the best thing though extracating yourself from a situation that just wasn't working for you and also didn't feel right to you. Your acquaintance, in my opinion, took advantage of the situation and he's damn lucky you didn't hall off and deck him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheBreeder Posted May 19, 2012 Author Report Share Posted May 19, 2012 Yeah, you guys are right. It's just tough—for me, personally—to get over certain feelings of guilt when stuff like this happens. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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