Still Neg, I Can't Believe It

[Guest TravelGuy4Bareback]

I'm a mid 30's bi-guy who only bottoms. My last HIV test before today was in 1998. I didn't start messing around with guys until 1999 or 2000. And it was just giving and receiving blowjobs. It took until December 2003 before I got fucked. It was in a local adult theater and it was bareback. Actually got fucked by two different guys that day and status was never talked about. It was just all about the fucking. I kept going to the adult stores whenever I could. And would bend over for any cock that could get hard and was big enough to fuck me. It was about 95% always bareback. Very few would pull out a condom. I never carried them with me. There were times I would stop going for a month to up to 6 months. But I always would go back and take more cock and cum up my hole.

 

About 2009 I started looking for poz guys and poz loads. It was about 2010 that I found a poz guy who was willing to fuck me bareback. He was on meds and undetectable. I knew the risk was low but still there. We actually meet at the theater where I got fucked for the first time. He cummed in me twice and I ran off and pushed it out of me quick.

 

I didn't hit my first bathhouse until 2011 in Seattle. Like always, I only took it bareback. Took a few loads that night. I've since been to two other bathhouses for a total 5 times. Probably taken about 20 or so loads in those 5 visits.

 

Since 2003 I think I've been fucked by over 200 different guys and taken probably about 300 loads. Since 2010, many of those loads have been poz loads. A few have even told me they were not on meds and toxic. But like most guys, I feel they could have been lying, but don't know for sure.

 

I was almost 100% sure I was poz. I had come to accpet it. I had even changed over my status on some sites to say I was poz. But I was always too scared to go test. Yes, this is stupid, as the quicker you start meds, the longer you can live. I guess I was going to wait until I either got really sick or a blood test on a physical came up poz.

 

Then last week I saw a ad on another crusing site for a national study for at home testing. They send you three different at home tests. You do them and report your results and what you thought about doing each tests. I recieved the tests on Friday. I was too busy to really sit down and do them. Each one takes about 20 minutes to complete. I had time this morning to test and did the OralQuick one first. I was nervous as hell, but had come to grips with it being poz. After the 20 minutes, I flip over the little flap they have you use to block the results (guess they don't want you looking?) and there were only one line. Heck I looked over and over tyring to see if I could see a faint second line. Nothing. No damn way. I was NEG. Wow. I didn't have time to do the other two tests. I kept telling myself it was probably wrong and that I didn't scrap my gums right with the swap stick.

 

So I got home in the afternoon and did the second test. It is a blood test, where you prick your finger and then use a solution to process the test. It takes 15 minutes. No flap to hide the results. So I could see the test strip turn pink and a line start to appear. And after 15 minutes, there was still only 1 line. Another NEG test results. I was really NEG. Damn.

 

I haven't done the third test. It's a more detail blood test that you actually send to them to test and they only contact you if that blood tests different than your other two tests.

 

So here I am, 11 years of barebacking come this December. Mostly poz cum in me since 2010. Heck, I had even had two poz guys fill me full of cum and then afterwards I took a toothbrush and fucked my hole up good. Nice and red when I took the toothbrush out. And somehow I am NEG. Not sure why. Or how. But I am. I am happy I am. I am making an appointment this week to go to a doctor and see about PreP. I feel this is a second lease on life and don't want to fuck it up really.

Sorry this is long, but don't have anywhere else to post this or anyone else to tell this to.

[seaguy]

Did you avoid getting tested so long because the anxiety of waiting for the results is just too much and it is easier to just avoid it?  Just curious.  For me not knowing would make me more anxious that any test waiting period.

 

was it Club Z in Seattle?

[backpackguy]

Hey TravelGuy,

Glad to hear the good news. Go see your doc soonest and get on PrEP. Been on it for 6 months with no side affects. Gives me peace of mind when I decide to let the inner pig run free. 

[Guest TravelGuy4Bareback]

It was steamworks in seattle.

[BiAggieGuy]

Get tested to see if you have the genetic resistance to HIV.

[seaguy]

It was steamworks in seattle.

I live a block away next time your there you should msg me on here and I could pop over to give you a load or vice versa.

[Guest TravelGuy4Bareback]

Get tested to see if you have the genetic resistance to HIV.

 

I've thought about it but I think I'll just get on PreP to be safe.

[MedicalMetsFan]

I would absolutely go on PrEP. But consider getting tested also to see if you are HIV resistant. You might be able to benefit society by helping science better understand people that are.