Online Hookups Gone Grreat, Then Afterwards Guys Barely Say Two Words To You?

[Chubbearpa]

This kinda gets under my skin and really bothers me, frankly I just don't understand it...I'll give you a good example.

 

Going on a month ago I had noticed on A4A that this same guy who lived in my county was constantly checking out my profile, he was a pretty hot guy and I was definitely interested in him.  He would never initiate chat with me so I took the plunge and hit him up, he replied back almost immediately.  We chatted on and off for several days, I asked him if he was interested in having a regular fuck buddy since we lived so close to one another (like a mile max) and he said yes, if we click he was definitely game.

 

So a few days later we end up hooking up, really good chemistry, we were both really into one another, the sex was amazing...he went crazy when I would squat down behind him and start eating his hole out...really nice lean body with kind of like a fat/jock ass!  So moving on...I went ahead and asked him before he left if he was interested in doing it again and he said yes and that was great with me.

 

So about a week later I hit him up, took him a day or so to read my message, he hadn't been online.  He said he was definitely interested in a repeat but that the next few days would be tough for him because he had company in town, etc (yet he was constantly logged into all the hookup sites and apps.)  I kinda let it go and was like whatever, it just seems like he's making up excuses and since our hookup he hasn't initiated a chat one time, it's always been me...he does answer but always has an excuse.

 

I just don't get it, if you don't want to hookup with someone again (regardless of how hot it was) why can't guys just be honest instead of bullshitting everyone?  I would rather you be honest with me then lead me on.  I understand online hookups are usually considered "NSA" but that doesn't mean if you find a good match that you can't be regular fuck buds (if both parties agree to it of course) and in this case it was exactly that, but he seems to do the complete opposite.  So I've left him alone...it really sucks cause he had a nice/tight body and a really great ass and I really want more of it.

 

Just kind of ranting, I've always said I have a girls brain in a guys body.  For the life of me I will just never understand the shit guys pull!

Edited August 7, 2016 by Mirewolb

[kckinkybtm]

I know I can be a bit flakey sometimes, but it also doesn't help that I'm on call 24/7/365. So, I try to let people know in advance. Just because you don't hear from me right away, doesn't mean I'm not interested. If I'm not interested, I'll let you know and I'd prefer you do the same to me.

[fuckrogerbb]

I agree that people act like they want to get together again and they're lying. Why? Just say it was a great time, but I think it's a one nighter. I'll say ok. No big deal. 

[unloadinU]

For many, it's about the chase and conquest.  Once that's over, they move on.  Sad, unfortunately.

[bbzh]

A few things come to mind reading this thread...

1) he didn't like you at all

2) he didn't like you enough

3) he didn't want to hurt your feelings

4) he's hoping you will take the hint

5) he doesn't like repeats or might have an agreement with a bf not to do repeats

 

No matter how much sex is being offered online - if you know that you could have another fuck with a guy who's laying the ass/dick out in front of you, and you turn it down, then there's a REASON for it.

 

I've ghosted guys for not getting/staying hard, being too rough, bad hygiene, being too hung, not being hung enough etc.

 

That may sound bitchy but there are guys in my rotation that have a 100% hit rate, meaning they ask for the ass, they get the ass. Unless my ass is out of town giving out ass there. 

[Guest SBBOY]

This kinda gets under my skin and really bothers me, frankly I just don't understand it...I'll give you a good example.

 

Going on a month ago I had noticed on A4A that this same guy who lived in my county was constantly checking out my profile, he was a pretty hot guy and I was definitely interested in him.  He would never initiate chat with me so I took the plunge and hit him up, he replied back almost immediately.  We chatted on and off for several days, I asked him if he was interested in having a regular fuck buddy since we lived so close to one another (like a mile max) and he said yes, if we click he was definitely game.

 

So a few days later we end up hooking up, really good chemistry, we were both really into one another, the sex was amazing...he went crazy when I would squat down behind him and start eating his hole out...really nice lean body with kind of like a fat/jock ass!  So moving on...I went ahead and asked him before he left if he was interested in doing it again and he said yes and that was great with me.

 

So about a week later I hit him up, took him a day or so to read my message, he hadn't been online.  He said he was definitely interested in a repeat but that the next few days would be tough for him because he had company in town, etc (yet he was constantly logged into all the hookup sites and apps.)  I kinda let it go and was like whatever, it just seems like he's making up excuses and since our hookup he hasn't initiated a chat one time, it's always been me...he does answer but always has an excuse.

 

I just don't get it, if you don't want to hookup with someone again (regardless of how hot it was) why can't guys just be honest instead of bullshitting everyone?  I would rather you be honest with me then lead me on.  I understand online hookups are usually considered "NSA" but that doesn't mean if you find a good match that you can't be regular fuck buds (if both parties agree to it of course) and in this case it was exactly that, but he seems to do the complete opposite.  So I've left him alone...it really sucks cause he had a nice/tight body and a really great ass and I really want more of it.

 

Just kind of ranting, I've always said I have a girls brain in a guys body.  For the life of me I will just never understand the shit guys pull!

 

If he does end up contacting you in a few weeks or months (which is often the case I find, when there's no other 'fresh meat' available and needs a quick release), then don't bother with him. Otherwise it'll encourage him to treat others that way, like he can pick them up and put them down whenever he feels like it

 

It would be good if these hook up sites and apps had a 'meet up' feature. If you decide to hook up then you 'request hook up' to the other person and they accept. Then after a certain amount of time like 2 hours say it asks you to confirm if the meet took place. Then it records it and other users can see on their profile. Almost like an eBay feedback rating. 

 

'This user has a 90% meet up rate' etc

[Chubbearpa]

A few things come to mind reading this thread...

1) he didn't like you at all

2) he didn't like you enough

3) he didn't want to hurt your feelings

4) he's hoping you will take the hint

5) he doesn't like repeats or might have an agreement with a bf not to do repeats

 

No matter how much sex is being offered online - if you know that you could have another fuck with a guy who's laying the ass/dick out in front of you, and you turn it down, then there's a REASON for it.

 

I've ghosted guys for not getting/staying hard, being too rough, bad hygiene, being too hung, not being hung enough etc.

 

That may sound bitchy but there are guys in my rotation that have a 100% hit rate, meaning they ask for the ass, they get the ass. Unless my ass is out of town giving out ass there. 

I doubt that he "didn't like me", he made out with me and was here for almost 2 hours.  I don't know about you but if I'm not attracted to someone I'm certainly not going to make out with them let alone spend two hours with them...don't be so rude dude!

[bbzh]

Sometimes when I'm direct, it's taken as rude. No rudeness intended. But I'd bet my next paycheck that points 2-4 are spot on as well as some of the other things I said. 

 

To be honest, those "contracts" when a guy has emptied his balls are worthless. What else is he supposed to say?

 

You'll be fine. It's not that serious. He's just not that into you.

You got caught up. It happens to all of us.

[Chubbearpa]

No, I'm just saying if you don't want to hookup again that is fine, but don't lie when someone asks you, guys need to learn basic communication skills and be direct with each other...just because it's the internet, that doesn't give people excuses to treat people poorly.  I'm not in love with him, the sex was good and I'm into fuck buddies, that's all.  It seems very common in the gay community that guys don't want you a second time, I know a lot of guys who are like seriously hot (young, fit, etc) and they can never score repeats, it makes no sense at all to me.  That's all I'm saying.

Also another interesting note...he claimed he was on PrEP (I am and was just last tested a couple months ago to continue my medication) and this past weekend I seem to be having a lot of the "conversion" symptoms.  That would be pretty interesting if he's actually poz and he converted me as a top on PrEP.  I have felt like shit all weeken, 3 weeks to the hookup as of yesterday.  BTW why don't notifications work on this site?  I have all my notifications settings set but I get no notifications.

To be honest, those "contracts" when a guy has emptied his balls are worthless. What else is he supposed to say?

 

I dunno, perhaps be honest?  I realize that's a dying "art" in the gay community but I treat people like I want to be treated, I don't lie or lead people on.

Edited August 7, 2016 by Mirewolb

[cumslut23]

He gets off on hunting men (even though he doesn't seem to be good at it). The chatting and getting into your pants is already half the release for him. Would you have said ok if he said one night only from the word go?

In the straight world, we would be looking at a guy who keeps smiling at you at the bar. You chat and you tell him that you are not looking for ONS. Of course he was gonna say me neither and "I'll call you" the next morning...

Leave him be and move on

[Chubbearpa]

He gets off on hunting men (even though he doesn't seem to be good at it).

That sounds like a jab at me?  lol  I didn't make this post to get attacked, I'm just trying to understand why people can't treat others as human beings, that's all.  I guess I'm in the minority in this and that's fine, I'm not a jerk and never will be one.

[bbzh]

Now you've got me thinking about successful fuck buddy relationships and what made some of mine "click". Hmmm.

 

Here are my unofficial criteria:

 

1) you both have to be open to seeing each other again and be reasonably available

2) you both have to have similar attitudes towards casual sex and figure out what your hookup rhythm is (weekly, monthly etc)

3) neither party should want more out of the hook-up or it creates tension (even wanting friendship can be a deal breaker)

4) there has to be no pressure to hook up again (i.e. one of you can just end it as there is no real commitment to start with)

 

Did I miss anything?

 

Nothing gets me in my feelings quicker than hitting up a guy for a repeat and it doesn't happen. So I just wait until he asks. I might check in and say hi, but I don't ask for another date. I assume he knows why I'm saying hi. Now if we've fucking for a while, I'm more direct! It always seems there are some guys I want to see more often than others but I've accepted that part of the fuck-buddy arrangement. One of my fuckbuds has been around since 2003.

 

What's often not said about the fuck buddy arrangement is that it's risky trying to date a guy who you were fuck buddies with (I've tried it and FAILED). There are immediate trust issues.

 

Anonymous sex (i.e. pump and dump) is perhaps emotionally easier on all involved. Kissing and sleep-overs can complicate the fuck-buddy situation. 

 

I've evolved to the vacation fuck buddy stage with one guy who lives far away. We get together twice a year on vacation and fuck each other to death. Have nice dinners. Hang out at the beach. But rarely speak after we part - until it's time to go on vacation again! My friends tease me about him. It's a win-win-win-win for me. Big dick. Good sex. Big creamy loads. No drama. 

[Guest Upstateguy518]

Can't agree more. How hard is it to be a man and say I had fun but this was just a one time deal? People are funny like that and honestly, Those are the people you shouldn't even bother with. Just block him and move on. Should be too hard to find a fuck buddy to replace him.

[Chubbearpa]

That's all I'm saying, why can't people just be honest?  I know it won't change but still...really sad.

[TarzanBoy]

After I meet a guy I always expect it to be a one time thing. What you described has always happened in the past when I tried to make it a regular thing....or it just became way too complicated.